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Original poster

DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

356 replies

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:15

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

OP posts:
Minjou · 29/11/2025 13:29

celandiney · 29/11/2025 13:28

Not a harmless prank though, because it upset OP.
And it may be useful for her DD to learn that actions have consequences, in this case a joke that misfired but it's the same lesson as banter - if the other person isn't laughing you shouldn't have said it....

That's definitely not how that works.

RightOnTheEdge · 29/11/2025 13:29

Yeah you were VU to go in to their room crying. That is embarrassing!

Bundleflower · 29/11/2025 13:28

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:23

It was something from the shining apparently. I don’t watch horror films and don’t appreciate them being forced on me.

How was a film forced on you?

You over reacted massively. Crying!? Fucking crying!? How old are you!?

You’ve massively embarrassed yourself and are still behaving embarrassingly by trying to infer things have been ‘forced’ on you.

Apologise to your daughter and get a grip.

Brefugee · 29/11/2025 13:28

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:23

It was something from the shining apparently. I don’t watch horror films and don’t appreciate them being forced on me.

oh god. Is DD your only/older/oldest child?

Start toughening up and get used to it. When they do things like this, the best reaction is SCREAM loudly, then at some other point prank them back. That is it.

You could, when she is alone and you are both calm tell her you don't appreciate pranks like that.

And yes. She will have the piss ripped out of her unmercifully. Maybe she won't ever ask for a sleepover again.

Minjou · 29/11/2025 13:28

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:26

Well as I’ve never seen the shining I didn’t immediately know it was from a film.

So what did you think it was?

Why aren't you giving any details? Is it because you know how silly it is?

CharlotteLightandDark · 29/11/2025 13:28

So it was REDRUM then? how would that even be scary if you didn’t get the context?

honestly this is total wet lettuce behaviour OP sorry

SelfRaisingFlour · 29/11/2025 13:28

Your daughter should be the one cleaning it.

LadyKenya · 29/11/2025 13:28

BeaRightThere · 29/11/2025 13:27

This can't be real.

If it is real, the whole situation is bizarre.

celandiney · 29/11/2025 13:28

Not a harmless prank though, because it upset OP.
And it may be useful for her DD to learn that actions have consequences, in this case a joke that misfired but it's the same lesson as banter - if the other person isn't laughing you shouldn't have said it....

Thaimonstera · 29/11/2025 13:28

How did they hurt you?

Mama2many73 · 29/11/2025 13:28

Im not fan of horrors but it havinga quite on a mirror isnt really scary (unless you want to share what was written). You knew it was the girls so no fear. I'd have walked into her room said something like 'can you go and clean the mirror please?' And spoken with DD after and explain you didnt appreciate it.
Im struggling to see how the situation caused you to be in tears.

LovesLabradors · 29/11/2025 13:28

I'm sorry OP, but on the information given YABU.
What did it say that upset you so much? Crying seems an overreaction, and I'm certain would really embarrass your DD and her friend.
Did you think it was real- because I can be fairly neurotic but my first thought would be "prank."

IAmKerplunk · 29/11/2025 13:28

This is hilarious 🤣

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/11/2025 13:27

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:23

It was something from the shining apparently. I don’t watch horror films and don’t appreciate them being forced on me.

But do you not think your reaction was extreme to burst in to tears and immediately confront them?

Surely you knew it was them and that there was no danger so you could have handled this in a way that wasn't so mortifying for your 12 year old daughter

Original poster
FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:27

ruethewhirl · 29/11/2025 13:26

I know this isn’t the point here, but surely 12 is too young to be watching films like The Shining?

She certainly hasn’t watched it in this house

OP posts:
murasaki · 29/11/2025 13:27

ruethewhirl · 29/11/2025 13:26

I know this isn’t the point here, but surely 12 is too young to be watching films like The Shining?

I'd read the book by then, although not seen the film. The book is way scarier. I was a horror nut by 12 though. Grew out of it though.

BeaRightThere · 29/11/2025 13:27

This can't be real.

CrowMate · 29/11/2025 13:27

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:26

Well as I’ve never seen the shining I didn’t immediately know it was from a film.

But you knew it was the children?!

ruethewhirl · 29/11/2025 13:26

I know this isn’t the point here, but surely 12 is too young to be watching films like The Shining?

Fleurdalys · 29/11/2025 13:26

Good grief
your poor daughter
grow up 🤦‍♀️

TheChosenTwo · 29/11/2025 13:26

Good grief!
Such a dramatic overreaction- your dd probably will be laughed at for your crying over a prank. I’m really quite shocked at this tbh!

Original poster
FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:26

Well as I’ve never seen the shining I didn’t immediately know it was from a film.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 29/11/2025 13:25

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:23

It was something from the shining apparently. I don’t watch horror films and don’t appreciate them being forced on me.

So if you don't even know what the reference was, why would it make you cry? I feel like I am missing something here.

Minjou · 29/11/2025 13:25

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:23

It was something from the shining apparently. I don’t watch horror films and don’t appreciate them being forced on me.

Dramatic much? How was a horror film forced on you?

IwishIcouldconfess · 29/11/2025 13:25

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:23

It was something from the shining apparently. I don’t watch horror films and don’t appreciate them being forced on me.

You weren't forced to watch anything

I'd be more upset re the lipstick!.

Sorry op you've overreacted