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DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

356 replies

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:15

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 29/11/2025 13:46

Why couldn't you just have put:

"DD and her friend wrote MURDER on my mirror in lipstick"

Why all this pussyfooting around what actually happened?
Hmm

TheRealGoose · 29/11/2025 13:46

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:39

Ok clearly I over reacted but for context DD knows I hate horror and yes initially I thought there was someone in the house who shouldn’t be.

Who broke in and wrote murder in lipstick on the bathroom mirror?? You seriously thought that?

i assume there is a back story with higher mental health, but even with this you should know not to involve your child in your issues,

Mumof2wifeof1crazytimes · 29/11/2025 13:46

Total over reaction, I think you have embarrassed yourself and daughter.

Greggsit · 29/11/2025 13:45

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:39

Ok clearly I over reacted but for context DD knows I hate horror and yes initially I thought there was someone in the house who shouldn’t be.

For someone that doesn't like horror, you must have seen an awful lot of horror movies. In real life, killers don't hide in houses, but leave scary clues! Kids playing pranks happens all the time though.

Howtogetthrough · 29/11/2025 13:45

Is your Dd usually so unpleasant and badly behaved ?
I would be realky annoyed at her behaviour and I would be having words with my H about undermining me infront of your dd and her friend.
It doesn't sound as thoug either your Dd or your H respects you.

BeaRightThere · 29/11/2025 13:45

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:39

Ok clearly I over reacted but for context DD knows I hate horror and yes initially I thought there was someone in the house who shouldn’t be.

No you didn't. You've had your fun pretending to be an overly-sensitive delicate flower who can't even see the word murder without bursting into tears. Give it up. There is no way this is true.

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/11/2025 13:45

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:39

Ok clearly I over reacted but for context DD knows I hate horror and yes initially I thought there was someone in the house who shouldn’t be.

But then you realised there wasn't and it was your daughter and her friend

Can you not see why for a 12 year old, their mum coming in crying over what you and your friend thought was a funny prank is so embarrassing?

There was no need to do that to her and spoil her sleepover

You could have had a chat today about why pranks can backfire and be cruel but your actions were way worse than hers

Your daughter meant no harm. You surely knew your actions are mortifying for a teenager?

murasaki · 29/11/2025 13:44

Minjou · 29/11/2025 13:42

Oh come off it. You see lipstick on a mirror and instead of thinking it's a family member that did it, you think someone you can't see or hear has broken into your house but done nothing but write on a mirror?

Were you high?

Edited

The only possible excuse for the reaction is being out of your tree. In which case she shouldn't have been looking after two 12 year olds.

TheRealGoose · 29/11/2025 13:43

Yeah sorry op, I’m team husband and daughter. This sort of extreme over reaction, then going into your daughter’s room when her friend was there so they could see your hysteria is completely unacceptable. I mean it’s bad if yoh reacted like this then composed yourself,before going in, but you didn’t. You went in there crying, which means you’re either out of control or attention seeking.

if you were my husband I’d be furious with you.

labamba18 · 29/11/2025 13:43

Even If you were upset why not call your DD downstairs or in another room and ask her privately. It’s very odd you cried in front of her friend and I imagine very uncomfortable for her.

CosyBungalow · 29/11/2025 13:43

Stop trying to justify your complete over reaction....

IAmKerplunk · 29/11/2025 13:43

Spidey66 · 29/11/2025 13:41

I've not seen The Shining. REDRUM would make me think of Red Rum, the horse, though I now realise it's murder backwards. Every day's a school day.

That was my first thought 🤣 I have never seen the shining - I hate horror. But if I saw a message on my bathroom mirror (especially if one of my dc was having a sleepover) I would yell out oi which one of you knobs did that! Or I would pretend to be scared to give the dc the impression they had got me

Minjou · 29/11/2025 13:42

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:39

Ok clearly I over reacted but for context DD knows I hate horror and yes initially I thought there was someone in the house who shouldn’t be.

Oh come off it. You see lipstick on a mirror and instead of thinking it's a family member that did it, you think someone you can't see or hear has broken into your house but done nothing but write on a mirror?

Were you high?

CryMyEyesViolet · 29/11/2025 13:41

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:33

It wasn’t red rum, it was spelt the other way in awful writing. When I first say it my immediate reaction was terror until I realised the kids must have done it.

Are you so sensitive you can’t write the word murder on an online forum?

I dont have kids, but if I saw that on my mirror I’d be slightly taken aback but would first assume it was DH playing a joke on me even though it would be out of character. If I then ruled that out I’d be getting out of the house and ringing the police, not crying to my children. And I am a bit of a crier.

So yes - you’ve massively overreacted in an entirely embarrassing way.

Heronwatcher · 29/11/2025 13:41

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:39

Ok clearly I over reacted but for context DD knows I hate horror and yes initially I thought there was someone in the house who shouldn’t be.

Seriously, this was your first reaction when you had kids in the house? I don’t think many people would have jumped to intruder/ haunting quite so quickly…

IAmKerplunk · 29/11/2025 13:41

You thought someone was in the house and wrote murder on your bathroom mirror?

Spidey66 · 29/11/2025 13:41

I've not seen The Shining. REDRUM would make me think of Red Rum, the horse, though I now realise it's murder backwards. Every day's a school day.

snoopythebeagle · 29/11/2025 13:41

FoxPj · 29/11/2025 13:39

Ok clearly I over reacted but for context DD knows I hate horror and yes initially I thought there was someone in the house who shouldn’t be.

I think you need some therapy to manage your hysteria and anxiety.

Piknik · 29/11/2025 13:41

PettyMare · 29/11/2025 13:40

They "hurt" you? Honestly, get a grip.

Yeah, wtf is the thread title about. How were you 'hurt'? As I said before, batshit

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 29/11/2025 13:41

Yea right. As if you started crying.

SemperIdem · 29/11/2025 13:40

You cried? Really?

JudgeBread · 29/11/2025 13:40

Oh my god 🤣

Yeah mate if you're not on the wind up this is really fucking embarrassing.

PettyMare · 29/11/2025 13:40

They "hurt" you? Honestly, get a grip.

Balloonhearts · 29/11/2025 13:39

So they wrote Murder across the mirror in lipstick? And you cried? That's utterly ridiculous.

I'd give them short shrift about drawing on my bloody mirror and make them clean it off but honestly it's just a prank. They need to grow up a bit but crying over that, as an adult, is a bit pathetic. Don't be so silly.

fatphalange · 29/11/2025 13:39

You’re the adult here :/