Boyfriend says I have fine hair … AIBU to be hurt?

@ThatCyanCat As you continue to carry on carrying on, it is very apparent that you are reacting badly to the suggestion that the bf in the OP might, perhaps, could be, potentially, possibly, maybe, just a suggestion, autistic; and that perhaps, maybe, it is just a suggestion, potentially, he did not intend to be rude. I can’t help you with the enormous amount of other ranty stuff you have created from that.

My final response to you is to tell you on this issue, and I’m sure you already know, but it is worth saying - this is merely an anonymous message board. It really is not worth getting knickers in a knot over. In life generally, to demand people dance to your tune, will not get you anywhere. There really are far more important things to be concerned about - or if there isn’t in your life, then you are more fortunate than most.

Btw, and just as a point of information my hair is not shit as you assert, which is merely your very rude opinion based on nothing but hot air and bluster. 🤣 However the fact is, it is fine. Ooooh, or is it - you will never know!? 🥸🍿

Yes, me too. Firstly, it's so obnoxious to assume that any time someone is behaving like an arsehole it simply must be because they are ND. My sister is ND and doesnt behave like an arsehole so that poster can jog on.

Secondly, why is it so impossible to believe that some men (yes, note I said "some" and not "all") are misogynistic pricks who enjoy negging women.

I mean, really?- in a world where statistics show that on average 1 woman is killed every 3 days by a man, is it really so utterly impossible that this man might just be an actual cunt who enjoys tearing women down.

NO, he couldnt possibly be so, because men are known throughout the entire world for being so kind and empathetic to women in general, both now, and in history too 🙄

As my old Gran used to say: “if you’ve got nothing nice to say then say nothing”

Can’t believe posters are defending this rude clown.

Yes to this, I get absolutely sick to the back teeth of seeing this come up EVERY TIME someone displays poor etiquette, or any kind of unsavoury behaviour, or is plain bloody rude and insulting!

I think I'll start doing a shot every time someone on MN mentions autism in any thread that has nothing to do with it. I expect to be dead of liver failure by Tuesday

What a fucking arsehole. Insulting you and negging you. Why the fuck would anyone even mention this?! He sounds like he needs throwing back into the sea @MorrisHer I'm sorry you had to put up with this shit. I wouldn't be talking to him about it, I'd be dumping him. (Old gimmer here, who has put up with a lot of shit from men - (including my own DH now and again- over the years) - and I can't bear to see women negged and unsulted like this.)

.

😂 he sounds about as interesting as watching paint dry

Quite apart from anything else, he just sounds boring!

@leftsock, I used to know someone like that. It was like a running commentary on everything about me. If he'd said you look nice or similar, fine, but it was 'Oh you've styled your hair differently for me', 'Have those trousers shrunk or are they meant to be that length', 'Oh, you're wearing heels', and on and on.

'You are almost completely bald; the lights shine off your head. My last boyfriend had thick, lustrous hair with no balding at all'

It's really easy to tell if this is a 'factual' statement or a hurtful one.

Well the people who are banging on about how its fine because its factual are greatly in the minority according to the vote so most people in this thread are agreeing it was rude and insensitive.

Even if he did say it without intention to hurt, what kind of feckless moron repeats the obvious all day long and calls it conversation? what scintillating conversation that would be eh?- "your hair is brown", "your jeans are blue", "your eyes are green", "your address is XYZ", "you have a red car".

Blimey, it would be like going on a date with someone who had been lobotomised.

DS might be my son or your son. (DS has inherited the gene from my side and is self-concious). Pointing out thinning hair is downright rude.
Pointing out that someone has toes is just weird.
@Twinkylightsg .

It depends on your boundaries. You can either carry in seeing him and tolerate these comments about other women. Or you can choose yourself and aim higher knowing your worth. If your friend told you this about their bf what would your advice be?

Quite honestly I wouldn't bother to try to reason with him about it. It's not the first time he's done it. Either he's one of those guys who likes to chip away women's self esteem, or just thinks he should be able to tell his girlfriend where he doesn't feel she measures up because she's his woman and it's her job to take it, or he's just so mind meltingly thick that he has reached adulthood without learning how to speak to people, and it's not her job to teach him. It's honeymoon period time and he's already making her feel like shit; time to throw him back in. I'm sure he'll spit the dummy and blame her, but he's a knob so who cares what he thinks?

Whos DS are you talking about? This is a man dating a woman. In this circumstances I don't think it's a big deal.

Everything in life is circumstantial. Don't know who you are talking about though.

I have fine hair, and it’s always been something I’ve been self-conscious about, so much so that I now have hair extensions just for volume.
I would be very hurt if a boyfriend mentioned it in the way that yours did.
I would say you have two choices; either just dump him or ask him from a place of curiosity why he made the comment. For example, « when you made the comment about my hair, I felt insulted and hurt that you would comment on my appearance in a derogatory way, and then compare me unfavourably with your ex. I have never commented on your appearance in a negative way, so could you explain why you said that ? »

@Twinkylightsg , so saying to DS 'Your hair is thin' wouldn't hurt? His premature balding is not comparable to him having toes.

Are you completely insensitive?

You have fine hair. Can't be hurt. It's like saying you have toes.

But think rather tactless of him to go on speaking about a woman he used to date with thick hair. Cringe

Rude and insensitive. I don't think he's a long term prospect.

Let's see, you'll tell us all about how shit your hair is, you'll use a zillion emojis, you'll hurl insults, you'll talk some bollocks about imagined megalomania and you'll reference vintage farce films, but you won't accept that I'm merely showing you an alternative idea, and you won't explain why you think women should accept insulting crap from men. It's almost as if there's one rule for you when you get offended and another rule for others. Gosh!

Your hair is fine, isn't it= maybe ok
You can see your scalp = rude
My ex had amazing hair = horrendous

My hair is the same OP...I would be ripping if dh said anything like that to me

He’s putting you down and purposely trying to make you feel like his exes were superior. No denying that.

I read a comment from a teacher who told her class that if you notice something about a person, and they can't change it in 30secs , then DO NOT make the comment.

Think a lot of adults could take note, just because you notice something does not mean you have to discuss it!!

I'd bin him off OP, that's two clear examples of him trying to make you feel crap/insecure about yourself and about how much he likes you in comparison to other women. A boyfriend should be building you up and making you feel great. Otherwise, what's the point?

Oh, I see you are still carrying on 🤣🤣🍿🥸 and still under the delusion of having power. 🤦‍♂️🥱😴 Brings to mind an old Carry On - infamy, infamy … 😄