Boyfriend says I have fine hair … AIBU to be hurt?

Look forward to reading that you’ve thrown this particularly nasty fish back in the sea where it belongs!

Love this brilliant

I wouldn’t continue seeing him.

I feel that the comment itself was insensitive, but comparing unfavourably to an ex - that was the actual red flag.

I agree it was a hurtful comment and has upset you but a lot of men aren't known for their tact or diplomacy. If it was a one-off incident and you are happy with him aside from that, then personally, I would give him an opportunity to make it right. However, I've just read the follow-up posts and seems this isn't a one-off and he's not doing anything to make you feel special or important to him so you need to ask yourself if you want to continue in a relationship that feels like this.

I don’t know why people make so many excuses these days.

He is a grown adult. Would he say the same thing to a 6ft body builder. No cause he’d get his head caved in.

Bin him.

Neg him right back.

Point out his baldness, teeth, height, weight, length. Whatever flaw he has. Drop it in as a backhanded compliment or in comparison to an ex.

Works everytime.

‘Your biceps are so small. I once went out with a man who had arms like tree trunks, threw me round the room like a rag doll’. If he gets angry at that, he did it on purpose.

Exactly.

OP- please ignore the people on here saying he is ND or has a brain injury or has early onset dementia or whatever garbage bullshit excuse they can come up with to excuse abusive men.

The only thing he is suffering from is what Russell Kane has identified as a neurological condition called Chronic Underperception Neurological Tendency.

CUNT for short 😂

Maybe mention his receding hairline and that you normally go for men who have a thick thatch. Seriously bin him

Yep, self respect in the gutter. Presumably they're teaching their daughters the same thing.

The hair and whatever his preference is not the issue, the fact he is an insensitive, tactless oaf is. You are only 4 months into the relationship! What's next? An ex had thinner legs, another had smaller ears or whatever? Pointing something out is one thing and merely insensitive, comparing unfavourably to an ex is a major red flag.

100% this. It'll start 'snall' like this. Will only get worse.

It's not really about the hair, it's the fact he's thought something negative a out you and decided to tell you about it.
You need to ask yourself why someone that's supposed to really like you would do this?
He's a twat and probably trying to make you feel bad about yourself to make himself feel better.
Get rid.

OP this is a red flag.

He picked on something that he knew would make you self conscious and then straight away compared you to another woman who had great hair. That was not an "innocent" comment.

I would bet that this is the start of slowly but surely knocking down your self esteem.

This is a typical behaviour of controlling/abusive men: they are charming for the first few months then their real face starts to show.

Stop seeing him. The people who are commenting that he was just stating a fact are not taking into account the comparison with a previous girlfriend and probably have never come across this type of insidious behaviour by men like this...

Someone I worked with ( I actually do get on really well with this person) said- your hair is really thin isn’t it? This comment haunted me & I now how hair extensions in part of my hair 🫤

He's nasty AF.

Sometimes people say something clumsy but this isn't one of those situations.

At one point I'd lost all my hair due to illness. Margot whatever her name is that played Barbie was on TV and my DH said in passing that her hair was beautiful. The words were out of his mouth, I'd burst into tears and he had me wrapped in an embrace and apologies all at once.

Your boyfriend is a prick. He wants you to feel bad.

It doesn't matter a bit whether it was 'true' or not.

Why are women saying this is ok? My ex who was vile(short relationship) said oh your hair is so thin and so was my ex wifes hair(he was seriously abusive to her) i left him and you should leave him, it will get worse, this is how it starts

Why don’t you comment on the size of his biceps then in the next breath tell him how defined an ex used to be in comparison.

I was also going to say, do not ignore the feeling of wanting to walk out. I am now divorced but still think about the time I felt like walking out on my ex-husband before we were married and he made an insulting/jokey comment about me in front of his family. I so wish I had and could have saved myself a lot of heartache over the years.

Think of it at the most excellent Xmas present to yourself.

He brings less to your life than a Rabbit

And PLEASE update us on his bluster when you tell him over text

He's just a negging cunt. Bin him.

To the posters saying this, I’d love to know what the motivation would be to make such a comment. Just - why?

I dont get this either, how does pointing out something obvious that a person already feels sensitive about help them? what does it achieve- what kind of response is he wanting from doing this?

I wouldnt tell someone they had terrible acne or were overweight because they already bloody know and how is me pointing it out going to change anything?

His personnel skills are so poor that he doesn't realise that bringing up such a sensitive subject, in a new relationship is very difficult. Then worse still he harps on about his old ex with the luscious hair.

I have quite thin hair, and it's getting worse. 4 friends have even thinner hair, and it's a very sensitive issue. Think about it, you must know this.