Boyfriend says I have fine hair … AIBU to be hurt?

I wonder sometimes if there is a human behind some posts

I would end this relationship. Checking out school aged children is, weirdly, a dealbreaker for me. Can’t put my finger on why but there we go.

This guy’s an arsehole. It’s not just saying “your hair is fine” it’s the comparison to former lovers with thick hair. Get rid.

He sounds incredibly rude to have made that ginger comment and then this one. I would bin him.

Haven’t red the rest of the thread but sounds like negging, it’s to erode your self esteem and reduce how attractive you think you are so you don’t leave. I would dump.

It's barely a prank. If my DC wrote 'murder' on our bathroom mirror, I'd be more puzzled than scared.

I would write this off as rude/ insensitive, but the fact that he directly compared you to a previous gf with luxurious hair makes it sound more like negging to me and I think it’s a red flag. Sorry 😔

Ha! I was thinking the same. Or just say, "I used to have a boyfriend with a really big cock. Not that there's anything wrong with yours per se - it was just really big...."

Dump him. This is him starting with his "comments" all designed to make you feel like shit.
When l met my ex, I was younger but he commented too on my fine hair, square jaw, little bit chubby, made noise eating....none of which I had ever been aware of (and didn’t need to be). He destroyed my confidence over the years.

So four months in he’s compared your looks negatively twice. Time to him this one. Good men don’t make you feel insecure by saying shitty things. He’ll say more things the longer you stay with him because he’ll feel he can.

Horrible comment. We all know our imperfections, we spend a lot of time scrutinising ourselves in a mirror and just hope others don’t notice it/ aren’t as harsh! Especially when it’s something you can’t change. About 20 years ago a boy I liked made a comment about my Turkey neck - it’s always stuck with me. I didn’t like him after that 😂

25% of women think that this man didn’t realise that wouldn’t be a welcome comment. Fuck my life.

Get rid.

I’ve known men like this. He’s training you to put up with his bad behaviour, whittling away your self-confidence. I’d run a mile.

This is how devaluating behaviour begins, about 4 months in would be when he would start to test your limits. The negative comparison to his ex girlfriends is 100% intended to hurt. This is how abusers get away with behaviours as it seemingly starts so small. This is a massive red flag and I wouldn’t continue with this relationship.

(for context I’m a domestic abuse champion for my workplace and have completed the Freedom Program after an abusive relationship myself).

Well done! You deserve better.

🤣

Was she actually a girl, like a teenager? Not going to lie, he sounds like a twat. Make sure you point out how small his todger is! Say you've always had a thing for huge schlongs

I’ve just turned 61 and my hair is so fine now, it used to be so thick. I’m sure it’s due to stress as well as my age so this would upset me too at your stage. I’ve discussed it with my husband but he didn’t bring it up first. We’ve been together over 30 years so that’s different than your new relationship.
i’d not be happy either,

This^^

Regardless of fact he is socially and emotionally immature if he doesn’t realise that’s a hurtful comment to a menopausal woman.

It’s not being ‘sensitive’ to be hurt by that. He didn’t just say it’s fine hair, he said he could see OP scalp and made a comparison to an ex. You don’t make negative comparisons of your current girlfriend to your ex. That’s not thoughtless, that’s ignorant and nasty.

I imagine he will make another comment soon and this time you need to be ready for OP. Then call him out saying ‘ Do you realise that you are socially immature for making a comment like that? Did you not learn basic manners and consideration about commenting negatively on someone’s appearance?

I Imagine he will then get defensive and call you sensitive/ over reacting. You then have your answer! If he is shocked and apologises sincerely you might give him one more chance if you believe him. I’m going with the fact he is a bit of a twat and you deserve better OP.
Someone who treats you kindly.

He was rude. I don’t think he said it to be nasty though. He’s literally just said what popped into his mind without thinking. Like a kid does. You’d expect better from a grown man though 🙄

Simple. Just tell him to fuck off.

Ask him if he would enjoy the comparison as much if you spoke about his penis being much smaller than with men you’ve been with in the past, then wistfully looked into the distance remembering how satisfying they were. “Those were good times”

@MorrisHer if it helps you feel better, my ex used to say my boobs were touching my knees!

yes they had drooped and I was no longer a 20 something but I didn’t need his comments to make me feel worse.

I’m sure he’s no silver fox, maybe give him a taste of his own medicine.

My spidey senses are telling me he’s negging you.