I always have to do my dad’s Christmas shopping

OP my comment on this thread before is completely moot.

Are you able to go somewhere else for Christmas? A friends? Book time away?
i understand sometimes Christmas brings out the worst, but I really think you need a break from them. Your dad sounds abusive at best.

My dad used to make me do this. Can’t believe I did it. He’s dead now which is easier

Time to move out. Why would you stay someone who calls you names?
Tell him you don’t have time. Make sure you get your mum something lovely from you.

Do it but tell her in private about this arrangement. She gets her gifts then but knows he is an aese - though she probably already knows. She may want to up the value of her gift requests.

Does he get angry about other things? What does your DM do if he calls you horrible names?

When are you planning to leave home @AlwaysTheEldestDaughter

Perhaps your mum will get angry with the right person? He's lazy and if he gets angry with you then tell him to shush. He's an adult, perfectly able to shop.

Do you live with your parents? Do you owe them anything?
Why do you let your father treat you like that?
Send them a joint message saying that you are not buying anyone else's presents this year and no amount of abuse will change it.
If you father abuses you....block him!

It's time to stand up for yourself or just stop complaining. Change the narrative now.

If she's sending you a wish list she might as well just order what she wants herself, wrap it and put it on his card, she's just as bad not sticking up for you. Does he bother getting you anything.

@AlwaysTheEldestDaughter
Do you live at home?

Does your dad do a lot of things for you? If yes, do you thank him for that? That is usually how it works. Not him being abusive to you when he asks you to do something.

And that’s your dad’s fault. Not yours. Maybe your mum should go without a Christmas present and finally be angry herself at her husbands lack of care for her. Your dad can kick rocks, tbh. Who cares if he gets angry?

He can’t be arsed maintaining his own relationships? Where does it end, do you also have to kiss your mother goodnight because he can’t be arsed?

With respect OP, grow a back bone and tell your dad he needs to do better a husband all on his own.

As always this isn't about wrapping presents. It's that your DF is an awful abusive prick.

That's not how a normal healthy family speak to each other.

Woah, your father talks to you like that? That’s abusive.

Makes me wonder what else is going on in your family dynamic.

My dad has never once swore at me or called me names. Ever. And that’s the norm for most people.

Is your Mum good to you? Does she help you and support you?

If so, she knows you're the one doing the shopping (from what I can see from your posts) so there is no illusion here that your father is a lovely thoughtful man.

In this scenario I would continue to buy for my Mum, to ensure she gets a lovely Christmas with items she wants and will bring her joy. It means you're not having to bankroll it as you have his card, and no one is under any illusions that he's putting in any effort.

You're doing this for your Mum, ignore the fact it happens to also benefit your dad.

Use his card to buy some of the tat on the Facebook thread

Don't do it. Make sure you get your mum something off the list that she would like, and make it clear that it's from you.

Or just keep doing it and suck it up. No point getting annoyed and pissing yourself off. If you're not going to stop, just make peace with it and crack on.

Do you still live at home op?

That’s not your problem. You’ve got to stand your ground op. Stop being a martyr

I'm guessing from your username that you have siblings who aren't asked to do this ?

I know this will sound really glib but as you don’t want to stop because that would mean your mum would miss out, try looking at it differently. Almost erase from your mind his laziness and that he thinks it’s ok to use you as his personal shopper and not your brothers. And that he has so little regard for your mum that he doesn’t bother. Decide you are doing it as a treat for your mum. With a husband and sons who don’t care, probably misogynists that effort from you might mean a lot.

It’s not for her, except in sustaining the lie that he cares enough to buy her a present. It’s for him, because he can’t be arsed.

If you really can’t say no to him, I like the idea of sabotaging it but by buying something extravagant.

Don't do it. My uncle did my widowed g'dads Christmas shopping (he was in his late 80s andc90s ) but made it simple - everyone got the same thing, a nice box of chocs.

Surely your mum is aware that he isn't buying or wrapping them ?

I've got to the stage recently of realising that a lot of what i do is people pleasing. I've started calling people out on it.

Why do you let him talk to you like that?