I always have to do my dad’s Christmas shopping

If you are living at home I would continue doing this but use it as motivation to save up and move out.

You need to make this the last Christmas you do this. Move out. Say no to his requests and then as you aren’t in the same house, you just don’t have to deal with it.

Presumably your mum knows she's married to a useless arsehole? I'd also put money on the fact that she knows it's you who has been buying the gifts all this time.

That being said, you've got 2 options as I see it.

1: Stop buying the presents. Tell your dad you're not doing it any longer. Email or text him if that's easier. If he gets pissed off and/or your mum doesn't get anything... well, other peoples relationships aren't really any of your concern. Really though, who is he going to get angry with? You? So what. Your mum? Because he didn't get her any gifts? That makes zero sense.
2: Continue as you are, but re-frame it mentally as "doing it for mum". Do it because you know it'll make her happy. If you're a little bit of a bitch (which I would be), on all the gift tags, I'd put "To Jane, love from Phil and AlwaysThe". Alternatively, put a little note on everything INSIDE the wrapping. Got her a book? Write, "To Mum, love AlwaysThe". Smellies? Pop a similar note on!

So how did he manage when you were a child? Presumably you weren’t scrolling through Amazon for him then 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, you don't.

Let him get angry. Tell your mum that you are quitting this job you never wanted, tell your brothers too, and just walk away from it all.

this isn’t your problem to fix.

Are you my daughter? 🤣
Every year my hubby and daughter have a shopping day as he never knows what to get me, even though I have dropped major hints throughout the year that I would like x,y or z. It's kind of become a family and friend's joke now but it is frustrating as I feel he doesn't really know me. At least he goes with her though and doesn't just give her his card, that would infuriate me.

does your mum think he chooses and buys the gifts himself? I would tell him in plants of time that you’re not doing it this year. Maybe give him a couple of ideas of things she’s mentioned she’d like but tell him you’re not buying them and be firm. He might sulk but that’s tough.

You do realize he's being really nasty to you? And your mum is failing you as well for letting him speak to you like this.

Why can't he do it himself? I could understand if he had some sort of disability, but I can't otherwise. And the fact that you've said you don't want to do it and he's bullying you into it is awful.

I am a lone voice on this thread I think. I would continue to do it just to keep the peace and because you love your mum. I am not a completely disinterested party. My two sons do this for me for my 4 teenage grandchildren. I also did it for my DM and my MiL.

How old are you? You need to get out of that house and have some peace from such a toxic family dynamic.

This. Start caring much less. Make different choices. It's liberating. Your mother knows who she married. She also knows you're doing all the shopping, even if she doesn't say. Is that fair of her to put on you?

You don't have to do anything.

I do all my Dads, but he pays me to do it. Ask for reimbursement. Or say you dont mind doing it but it will cost ......
When he starts with the insults say to him and that's going to make me want to help you? Don't match anger with anger or insults with insults, you get nowhere. If he carries on being horrible, make sure you have the conversation in front of your Mum and say it's your choice Dad, either be kind and grateful or do it yourself, if he starts say, sorry Mum I guess Dad doesn't care enough 🤷‍♀️ And walk out, that way you aren't refusing, you have said you will help, he just needs to not be an arse.

How about starting a group chat with you Dad and brothers, with the first message saying sometHing like “As mum does so much for us all I thought it would be nice for us to share in making her Christmas special. This year it would be great if we could all get her something she’s asked for: ‘list of thing’ . Let’s keep the discussion here so we can remember who’s getting what’

Good God woman, she picked him, she is an adult, perfectly able to deal with the consequences of her choices. And your grown arse misogynist father can have his impotent tantrum, so what? You need to stop caring so much, they are meant to be your parents, not the other way around!

Why does he expect you to do it?

Amazon and most stores offer a wrapping service

I used to do that because I loved both parents and wanted to make sure my mum had some gifts on Christmas morning.

In fairness he sometimes had some ideas, little flashes of genius, just not very often.

Is he retired op ? Any issues using IT or going to the shops?

I have bought my dads Christmas gifts to my mum for the last 20 years! He’s still working at gone 75 but just doesn’t know what she’d like. Works better this way. Going into shops would be his worst nightmare.

our relationship is give and take though! He does me lots of favours too! More than I do for him! So I have zero complaints over the situation

I voted YABU. You're an enabler. It's a choice. You are choosing to do this.

Amazon will do gift wrapping. Its not exciting gift wrap, but it saves you a job. Personally I would be buying myself a nice present "from dad" at the same time...

What a palaver, you still live at home, just put her name on the delivery, leave them in the bag, don't bother wrapping anything

How old are you?

Your dad is an arse. You should definitely think about moving away from someone who treats you like that.

However in this instance where your mum sends you the list and you use his money to pay for them, you ‘just’ order then wrap - that seems worth it to me to make sure DM gets what she wants - presumably you can spend as much as you like so encourage her to go big.