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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stop taking DS to a new hobby? I feel bad but overwhelmed

209 replies

Acc0untd3tails · 29/11/2025 09:26

I've got 3 DC two of which have special needs.

6 weeks ago I enrolled DS (my eldest - 8) in an activity club which takes place on Saturdays, it was suggested by his teacher as something he'd enjoy and he does.

The problem is it's 4 miles each way and I don't drive due to epilepsy so I'm reliant on the bus. The club lasts 1.5 hours and is in a semi remote location, so i don't have enough time to go and do anything productive I just sort of hang around waiting for time to pass.

Also, in order to do this with DS his dad needs to stay up until around 2pm after a night shift to have our other two, whilst due to work again that night. Or my mum has to travel over to have them and she lives even further away.

I've started to dread going. I have ADHD myself which might have something to do with it, aimlessly standing around drives me nuts.

I feel bad but it just isn't working for us.

Would you continue with this club?

YABU - yes
YANBU - no

OP posts:

Palourdes · 29/11/2025 09:33

Just bring a book? It sounds as if it’s the hanging about that’s bothering you rather than getting him there on public transport.

5foot5 · 29/11/2025 09:33

Does his Dad drive? If he is having to stay up until 2pm anyway might it not be better for him to drive him there and back. He would probably get back and in his bed quicker if he wasn't waiting for you to return on the bus

Rowanaq · 29/11/2025 09:32

That sounds a bit much to deal with I would give it up. Could you find a different activity for your ds that's more convenient?

Orangine · 29/11/2025 09:31

tryinghardtostaycalm · 29/11/2025 09:30

Would his dad be able to take him instead?

Maybe if dad can drive he can have a nap in the car too? And be back much earlier.

Thisisthedawningoftheageofaquarius · 29/11/2025 09:31

It doesn’t sound logistically workable right now for the family. Fair play for trying but I wouldn’t continue with it.
If something more local comes up he can do that.
( and he probably won’t remember after a few weeks)

ParisianLady · 29/11/2025 09:30

It sounds tough but I would stick with it if my child was enjoying it and gaining from it. Also, does he do any other clubs? If he has many others that’s different to this being his only out of school activity.

Hanging around at clubs is standard parenting I’m afraid, whether you’re on the bus or in a car. I spend a chunk of my weekend hanging around at clubs and sports.

tryinghardtostaycalm · 29/11/2025 09:30

Would his dad be able to take him instead?

Original poster

Acc0untd3tails · 29/11/2025 09:29

Orangine · 29/11/2025 09:28

Is your DS the one who doesn’t have special needs? If so, I think doing something just for him is important.

To add: nobody really likes sitting around during clubs but we do it for the kids.

Edited

No he's one of my boys with additional needs, he has autism and adhd. I do see your point though.