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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to pay this nursery charge

412 replies

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:17

2 children in nursery. Been really happy there. A few niggles but nothing major. This month's bill had a £40 per child charge for an activity that they only do in winter. It usually kicks in in December through to April but this time they've charged it early. The issue is that they've not actually done the activity yet. I spoke to the manager about it and she was very abrasive and came out with some absolute nonsense about why it was on the bill. She lied and expected me to just suck it up. I'm livid but the conversation is over as far as she's concerned and if I push it any further, I risk being asked to leave. Do I just write it off for the sake of peace and my blood pressure?

OP posts:
Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:47

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/11/2025 07:43

What did she lie about?

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About why they haven't done the activity but why they won't refund it.

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 29/11/2025 07:47

So you have paid for an extra month of this activity but aren’t getting an extra month? Or will the extra payment stop early? If you have paid for an extra month you have the right to query it but it sounds like the manager has given you an answer ( just one you didn’t like) I don’t think you should hold back the other payments until it is clear how many months you are paying for and how many months activity they are getting and the reasons why it is different ( if it is)

IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/11/2025 07:47

Go back to the manager and ask them to confirm what months you will be billed for this activity, and what months the DC will actually be doing this activity. If they’re doing the activity Dec-March, and you’re billed Nov—Feb then you’ve got nothing to complain about. Try not to get so heated up about it or you’ll just wind people up.

luckylavender · 29/11/2025 07:47

You’re not making any friends here OP. Trying being a little less abrasive. Nobody is clear what you are saying.

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/11/2025 07:47

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:44

I'm really not sure how I can be any clearer. I've said multiple times it's about November.

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Maybe the breakdown is now:
November pays for December
December pays for January
January pays for February

And they now need the money in advance. What are you worried about...that you will pay and the activity won't happen?

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:46

Luxio · 29/11/2025 07:43

So when you say this months bill do you mean the bill you paid in October for November? Or the bill you paid in November for December? You're not making yourself very clear at all?

W get the bill on the 1st of the month for that month. I paid on November 1st for November. The £40 was added for the activity in November. It's now become apparent that they haven't done this activity in November.

OP posts:
WonderingWanda · 29/11/2025 07:45

Are they charging for it again in December or is it a one off payment? Surely if it is on December's bill again then you can have an issue but if not and they do the activity in December then you just paid in advance.

To be honest I'm having a hard time figuring out what kind of activity would cost £40 per toddler and surely not all parents wish for their child to do the activity and therefore not all will pay? It sounds a strange set up.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:44

Soontobe60 · 29/11/2025 07:40

OK
You've paid in advance for an activity to be done in December but it hasn’t been done so you’re going to refuse to pay it next month. But it isn’t December yet!
If the activity takes place Dec - Feb, and you pay in advance, you should pay Nov - Jan.
What is it that the manager has lied about?

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I'm really not sure how I can be any clearer. I've said multiple times it's about November.

OP posts:
Barney16 · 29/11/2025 07:43

So if the activity runs say December to March and it's going to start in December would you not be billed for that activity in November, December, January and February. So an activity that is ongoing for four months, you make four payments?

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/11/2025 07:43

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:41

I know. It just sticks in the throat to be lied to so blatantly and have no recourse. It's not an honest error, it's a blatant money grab.

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What did she lie about?

Luxio · 29/11/2025 07:43

So when you say this months bill do you mean the bill you paid in October for November? Or the bill you paid in November for December? You're not making yourself very clear at all?

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:42

Luxio · 29/11/2025 07:38

So what's the problem? You've paid for an activity that will take place in December as advertised? I really have no clue why you think the nursery have done anything wrong?

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No, that's not what's happened.

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 29/11/2025 07:42

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:40

I paid my November bill in advance. The £40 charge was on it. I paid it assuming that they were starting the activity early this year. It usually only kicks in in December. It's now come to light that it hadn't happened at all in November. So I expect a refund for it but when I challenged it, I was lied to and shut down.

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But it makes sense that you pay in advance. You are the one being unreasonable. I presume they need to cover the costs and as per my post above, maybe some people were doing the activity in previous years and not paying the £40 so this year they are asking for the money beforehand to ensure the costs are covered.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:41

Londonrach1 · 29/11/2025 07:30

Tbh I'd let it go as it's £40 which in the cost of nursery isn't much. nurseries around here can pick and choose who they have and have huge waiting lists.

I know. It just sticks in the throat to be lied to so blatantly and have no recourse. It's not an honest error, it's a blatant money grab.

OP posts:
Whaleandsnail6 · 29/11/2025 07:41

Yabu if the activity will still take place for the number of times you will be paying for

Maybe people haven't been paying if payment is expected after the activity so now they charge before?

I still don't fully understand why you are upset?

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:40

Pinkstuffs · 29/11/2025 07:33

Your post is confusing for everyone. If you’ve paid for an activity that isn’t being done and never will be then YANBU. If you’ve just paid in advance and it has t started yet then YABU. We pay all our children’s activities in advance.

I paid my November bill in advance. The £40 charge was on it. I paid it assuming that they were starting the activity early this year. It usually only kicks in in December. It's now come to light that it hadn't happened at all in November. So I expect a refund for it but when I challenged it, I was lied to and shut down.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 29/11/2025 07:40

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:28

I'm not sure how I can explain it any clearer than I already have.

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OK
You've paid in advance for an activity to be done in December but it hasn’t been done so you’re going to refuse to pay it next month. But it isn’t December yet!
If the activity takes place Dec - Feb, and you pay in advance, you should pay Nov - Jan.
What is it that the manager has lied about?

Moonnstars · 29/11/2025 07:39

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:36

Yes.

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So if the activity is taking place in December I don't see what the issue is. YABU. Of course you need to pay for the activity in advance.
I recall when my kids first started school their breakfast club used to allow people to pay after, and so many people didn't pay but continued to book spaces. They would send reminders out, pointing out that it wasn't a free club, staff needed to be paid and so on. Eventually they switched systems and went online so all bookings required and upfront payment as people just took the mic in not paying.

Luxio · 29/11/2025 07:38

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:36

Yes.

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So what's the problem? You've paid for an activity that will take place in December as advertised? I really have no clue why you think the nursery have done anything wrong?

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:37

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 29/11/2025 07:31

The bill was paid in advance and it's only recently come to light that the activity isn't being done.

So previously they have done, say, yoga in winter at £40 a month; this year you paid the £40 a month but there's no yoga, and they are still charging you?

I think that you can politely query with nursery owners / more senior management.

I have queried it and was lied to and very assertively closed down.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:36

ItsDarkNow · 29/11/2025 07:29

Is the activity going to take place in December?

Yes.

OP posts:
Bushmillsbabe · 29/11/2025 07:34

What's the activity and why isn't it being done - is it for reasons outside of the nurseries control? Although even if it was, I would say they should refund you.

Pinkstuffs · 29/11/2025 07:33

Your post is confusing for everyone. If you’ve paid for an activity that isn’t being done and never will be then YANBU. If you’ve just paid in advance and it has t started yet then YABU. We pay all our children’s activities in advance.

Moonnstars · 29/11/2025 07:32

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:19

I should add, when I say refuse to pay, I've already paid. The bill was paid in advance and it's only recently come to light that the activity isn't being done. I intended to deduct it off next month's bill but have been told that that won't be acceptable.

So the activity isn't being done at all? As others have said your posts are misleading. In your initial post you say the activity happens in December, in which case it's fair for them to ask for the payment in advance.
If you have paid upfront for something that now isn't going to happen (so the December activity has been cancelled) then I would be asking for a refund for that amount.

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 29/11/2025 07:31

The bill was paid in advance and it's only recently come to light that the activity isn't being done.

So previously they have done, say, yoga in winter at £40 a month; this year you paid the £40 a month but there's no yoga, and they are still charging you?

I think that you can politely query with nursery owners / more senior management.