To refuse to pay this nursery charge

If your posts on here are anything to go by, I reckon your side of the conversation re getting a refund was not polite or well explained. Carry on with the manager as you are on here and I reckon you'll lose the nursery place.

I've understood everyone else's posts but yours are still baffling: surely you pay on 1st Nov for basic nursery fees for that month but also pay, in advance for the month of December for the winter activity (that will start 1st December). It's the number of payments you make over the winter rather than when you make them that matters (I've gone off to look for my old body armour).

I'm more than capable of being diplomatic

Really? Your attitude on here suggests that’s probably not your finest skill.

So in your first post you say the activity happens in Dec, but then you later say it was going to happen in November this year but for some reason it hasn’t. You paid for this at the beginning of Nov. What was the managers explanation for it not happening in November, and what did they say about future payments?

They let everyone think the activity was taking place when infact it wasn't

Or they charged in November so they could pay the activity provider ready for the activity to start in December...

I’m a professional, lifelong editor with plenty of experience parsing others’ writing. And I have no idea what the basis of your complaint is. You aren’t explaining as clearly as you think you are.

What is the activity? Did the person lie and tell you it had occurred? Was it EVER expected to begin in November instead of December? Why was it postponed / rescheduled ?

OP, you explained it poorly to start with. Your first post had no indication that this was a charge that would be made every month - a lot of us read it as a one off £40 to cover something that happens throughout winter. You clarified a couple of posts later, but since most people read the OP and reply in relation to that, the damage was done.

Also it’s very typical that activities eg at school are paid for long before they happen. So lots of people also suggesting that this might be the explanation - this is a reasonable thing to suggest even if it’s wrong, but you're reacting v snappishly to it.

And finally, without knowing the details of the activity or the lie, we can’t say if it’s totally unreasonable or not. Eg if it was something that hadn’t been able to happen in nov but they’d had to book and pay for in advance and the nursery weren’t going to get refunded either, that would be more reasonable.

The upshot is that even though you may well be justified in being aggrieved, the way you’ve snapped and got cross with people for making suggestions makes you look like someone who picks a fight easily. In any AIBU type question it’s fairly important to react reasonably to questions and recognise other people’s perspectives, or you’ll end up getting blamed even if it’s unfair.

Your posts are quite confusing, but it seems that you've been charged in advance for something that will happen? Isn't it quite normal to pay in advance for activities? Are you confused because you previously paid during/after and not beforehand?

I understand what you’ve said, you’ve paid for an activity that should have taken place in November but it didn’t. My point is if your childcare place is cheaper because of funding is it worth arguing over £40 and risk your childcare place?
If the activity goes ahead as scheduled for the rest of the time I honestly could not get this worked up over £40 and risk being ‘one of those parents’. If the activity never goes ahead and you’ve paid £160 extra then I would be asking questions.
Ive worked in a primary school which had a nursery attached, you couldn’t pay me enough to work full time in a nursery, it’s relentless and the staff are amazing.

Then see if it gets down for 4mths /4 times and then if by March they haven’t then query it

I said that earlier

If many people are misunderstanding a situation then the problem lies with the person explaining the situation.
Your explanations are all over the place. First you said the activity kicks in in December then you’ve said November, you said the activity hasn’t been done yet then you said it isn’t going to be done. No one knew what you were talking about so explain it better.

Have you considered it’s you, not us. Your post is confusing.

Did all the hard of understanding get up early this morning?

What has your nursery got to do with how the OP pays for her nursery?

It's perfectly obvious what the problem is and perfectly reasonable to question why she's being asked to pay for a November sessionn of something that didny happen in November

What was the excuse @Jeronnemo

The point so many are making and that you are ignoring is have the nursery specifically said the November payment is for November. If the provider needs paying before starting the activity in December then of course they need the money in November to pay them.

Did you ask them if they would be charging you on monthly bills for the 5 months you will receive the activity, or will you be charged for 6 months but only get 5 months of the activity.

Maybe if you answer the questions people ask instead of just repeating yourself it will actually make some sense.

Found it now and I wouldn't be happy in your shoes.

They should refund you the 40 quid in November if the activity wasn’t done this month, unless it wasn’t done because your child was sick/missed the dates it occurred ( rather than it being the nursery’s fault )
the way you have replied to some posters here has been pretty rude and demeaning, I hope this isn’t how you communicate with the nursery manager!!!

Basically you will pay 6 times for an activity that takes place 5 times. I wouldn't be happy either. Did the nursery say it had happened?

But without knowing the reason for not having November money back, its hard to give opinions on reasonability

If it had gone:

Manager "yeah sorry, the ice-skating teacher broke her arm in November but we can't refund as we had already paid her and we are waiting for her to refund. But don't worry, she will do February for free so you will not pay anymore overall"
then yeah, thats fine

If it had gone:

Manager " We didn't do the planned art and crafts project in November, sorry we don't refund money paid even if activities don't go ahead, but we will do it in December so could you pay now please. "

Then you are right to question no refund

Sorry, I can't see you've given any dates at all and I think it's impossible to know what's going on until you do.
Edit found them!