Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to pay this nursery charge

412 replies

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:17

2 children in nursery. Been really happy there. A few niggles but nothing major. This month's bill had a £40 per child charge for an activity that they only do in winter. It usually kicks in in December through to April but this time they've charged it early. The issue is that they've not actually done the activity yet. I spoke to the manager about it and she was very abrasive and came out with some absolute nonsense about why it was on the bill. She lied and expected me to just suck it up. I'm livid but the conversation is over as far as she's concerned and if I push it any further, I risk being asked to leave. Do I just write it off for the sake of peace and my blood pressure?

OP posts:
Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:36

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:12

An (almost) lone voice of sanity in a sea of madness. Thank you.

Show quote history

Despite the lack of info in the OP, your follow up posts have been very clear and some people obviously just didnt enough sleep last night.

LavenderBlue19 · 29/11/2025 08:36

Are good quality nursery places abundant where you live? Because I certainly wouldn't be souring relations with nursery for the sake of £40.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:36

The nature of the activity is irrelevant. It could be cutting a potato up and sticking it up your nose for all it matters to the situation.

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 29/11/2025 08:36

I’d email the nursery asking for clarification before I deducted money. Give them a chance to explain.

It’s probably frustration but you are coming off a bit abrasive too- this might be why you haven’t got the full picture. It’s unlikely to be the day-to-day staff here who have messed up so don’t have a go at them.

Anxietybummer · 29/11/2025 08:36

So what did the manager actually say?

lessglittermoremud · 29/11/2025 08:36

Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:32

Of course she can. I'm more referring to the comments like 'yeah just pay it, £40 is nothing'. 'This is what nurseries do'.

Show quote history

But if OP is able to access childcare funding so is getting a proportion of hours free then paying an extra £40 over the winter when they can’t go outside so much so need indoor activities etc is not something I could get this cross about, if she is paying top whack for all her hours as doesn’t fit the criteria for any childcare funded places then it’s slightly different.
My point is that even paying £40 extra it’s unlikely that she is paying 2 lots of full nursery fees so is better off.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:35

Viviennemary · 29/11/2025 08:34

They probably need to pay for the activity in advance. And it really is nearly December. If they activity isnt taking place at all then of course you shouldn't pay. So what exactly is the situation.

They don't need to pay in advance. It's an in-house activity.

OP posts:
MotherofPufflings · 29/11/2025 08:34

Didimum · 29/11/2025 08:31

Have you read the typical Mumsnet thread? It’s a breath of fresh air when an OP actually sticks up for herself. Good on her.

Show quote history

Absolutely. Why on earth shouldn't the OP respond in the same tone as the comments towards them? And then be polite to patronising tossers who advise them to "self-reflect"?

justasmallbiz · 29/11/2025 08:34

usedtobeaylis · 29/11/2025 08:34

I don't see how it's a 'money grab' when you would be paying for it anyway. You're paying for it in advance which is totally normal.

I’m not surprised OP is frustrated when she’s explained that she paid for it in advance for November and November has now passed and no activity took place.

Wheretoholiday71 · 29/11/2025 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Its hilarious that you are getting on your high horse and insulting half of MN when actually your first post was not clear at all, it didnt state if the £40 was a monthly charge or covered the activity for the whole period from Dec-April, it didnt explain that the £40 covered November only and that the activity was simply not being done in November but they were refusing a refund. It didnt explain that the £40 was not going to come off the final charge for April etc.
However I do wonder if you've even asked the nursery these questions as you seem very easily annoyed and quite insulting and rude so I suppose if you went in there all guns blazing there might be a reason you were met with hostility.
If I were you I would just send a simple respectful email and just query if the £40 paid in November for the activity that didnt take place will be coming off the bill at some other point.

Luxio · 29/11/2025 08:34

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:32

Quite. I'm perfectly capable of understanding a basic pricing structure unlike most of the contributors on here

Show quote history

Well us contributors would understand better if you answered the very simple questions asked of you.

Like have the nursery explicitly told you that you will now make 6 payments November - April and only get 5 months of the activity December - April...

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:34

101Alsatians · 29/11/2025 08:32

Do you always communicate so aggressively or is this a keyboard warrior thing?

Neither. I'm just beyond frustrated at how willfully people are misunderstanding my situation.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 29/11/2025 08:34

They probably need to pay for the activity in advance. And it really is nearly December. If they activity isnt taking place at all then of course you shouldn't pay. So what exactly is the situation.

usedtobeaylis · 29/11/2025 08:34

I don't see how it's a 'money grab' when you would be paying for it anyway. You're paying for it in advance which is totally normal.

rosiebl · 29/11/2025 08:33

All depends on what they said when you asked why you had been charged? What lie did they state? Did this happen in email or on the phone? Did you follow up with an email if it was a phone call?

justasmallbiz · 29/11/2025 08:33

I think it’s clear.

OP pays bills for the nursery which covers the hours (potentially some are funded but not relevant) and consumables and activities.

From December to February every year the children do winter painting. OP was charged for this in November’s bill for November. She first assumed that they would begin painting early this year so didn’t mention it. Now that November is over, she has learned that they just wanted an extra £40 so put it on the bill under the guise it was for the activity.

The £40 is still on the December, January and February bill.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:32

Didimum · 29/11/2025 08:29

Sounds like the OP has has previous years of paying for the winter activity it’s its usual pay structure before, so I believe she would know how they charge for it.

Show quote history

Quite. I'm perfectly capable of understanding a basic pricing structure unlike most of the contributors on here

OP posts:
Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:32

lessglittermoremud · 29/11/2025 08:28

And OP can remove them from a nursery and use other childcare if she isn’t happy. These kind of things do happen in larger childcare settings, it’s why we used a childminder for our youngest when I had to go back to work.
I would pick a childminder over a nursery any day because it’s more personal and transparent.

Edited
Show quote history

Of course she can. I'm more referring to the comments like 'yeah just pay it, £40 is nothing'. 'This is what nurseries do'.

101Alsatians · 29/11/2025 08:32

Do you always communicate so aggressively or is this a keyboard warrior thing?

Didimum · 29/11/2025 08:31

Loveduvetdays · 29/11/2025 08:28

I have read your responses. You need to self reflect on your communication style. Your replies have been very defensive. You will be annoyed by what I have put here and no doubt reply with something rude, which is fine, take or leave my advice.

Show quote history

Have you read the typical Mumsnet thread? It’s a breath of fresh air when an OP actually sticks up for herself. Good on her.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:31

sweeneytoddsrazor · 29/11/2025 08:30

Activity is being done in December, cut off point to pay for activity is 30th November therefore it appears on the bill for November

Now you really are taking the piss.

OP posts:
Thatsalineallright · 29/11/2025 08:31

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:28

I'm not sure how I can explain it any clearer than I already have.

Show quote history

Tbh I'm also confused. Your writing style is unclear.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:30

ParkLife2 · 29/11/2025 08:27

I feel for you. That would wind me up so much, but in this day and age we can’t risk losing our nursery places. Could you tell other parents? Or speak to the owners rather than a manager?

I've told some other parents. A couple are angry too and have spoken to the nursery and been fobbed off the same. A couple of others are more sanguine and think we just have to suck it up.

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 29/11/2025 08:30

Activity is being done in December, cut off point to pay for activity is 30th November therefore it appears on the bill for November

Didimum · 29/11/2025 08:29

HoppingPavlova · 29/11/2025 08:27

@Jeronnemo NOOOOOOOO. I PAY ON NOVEMBER 1ST FOR NOVEMBER. I PAY ON DECEMBER 1ST FOR DECEMBER

Yes. We ALL have understand this. Contrary to what you believe, everyone in the world but yourself is not thick.

You pay for attendance on the 1st of the month for that month. So, you pay 1st Nov for attendance in the month of Nov. WE GET THAT.

What we are questioning is that this is not classed as an attendance component but a special activity fee, where it needs to be paid in advance, that is, you need to pay the activity fee in November (do your 1st Nov payment) so that the activity can be done in December. That would make sense.

Sounds like the OP has has previous years of paying for the winter activity it’s its usual pay structure before, so I believe she would know how they charge for it.