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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse to pay this nursery charge

412 replies

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:17

2 children in nursery. Been really happy there. A few niggles but nothing major. This month's bill had a £40 per child charge for an activity that they only do in winter. It usually kicks in in December through to April but this time they've charged it early. The issue is that they've not actually done the activity yet. I spoke to the manager about it and she was very abrasive and came out with some absolute nonsense about why it was on the bill. She lied and expected me to just suck it up. I'm livid but the conversation is over as far as she's concerned and if I push it any further, I risk being asked to leave. Do I just write it off for the sake of peace and my blood pressure?

OP posts:
Wheretoholiday71 · 29/11/2025 08:48

I understood the issue from the first post, but it wasn't clear. OP is writing from a point of understanding as it is her situation, so she didnt explain that the charge was monthly not one overall charge for the period, it also was not explained that the £40 covers November only and will not be carried forward to cover December or is not a pay in advance type situation.
The rude responses didn't help, in fairness the ops post was the issue.
After seeing op's responses I would query how the meeting with the manager went at all, and if there were the correct questions asked but if its a case that the nursery charged for the activity, are simply refusing a refund, will not be doing a second activity in December to make up the price, will not be taking the £40 paid off the bill for Dec/Jan/Feb/Mar or April's bills then obviously op has every right to be annoyed.
Maybe its a case of the activity was organised and paid for in November but could not go ahead for whatever reason (staffing/illness/transport etc) and the contract with the external party for example was no refunds. Since we dont kmow the activity or what "excuse/lie" the nursery told it is hard to give a balanced opinion

MrsOverthinker25 · 29/11/2025 08:48

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Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:48

ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/11/2025 08:43

I was just given a load of bullshit

Which was? What was their explanation?

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It's hard to convey. Not because I'm trying to dodge the question but because it was just a load of word salad that made no sense and was so slippery that it was difficult to pin them down to a single point to effectively challenge it. It was delivered at machine gun pace, so it was hard to interject. I would have had to dissect every point like a criminal barrister and she would have gone nuclear. She was already very defensive because her lies were caught out.

OP posts:
Buzzlightfear · 29/11/2025 08:48

Didimum · 29/11/2025 08:37

For everyone saying that it’s just been paid for in advance, unlike previous years? Don’t you think the nursery manager would have just said this to OP in the first place to clear it all up?

Manager clearly didn’t so that’s not the solution.

Well that's part of the problem. We have no idea what the manager actually said, just that they 'lied'. The manager might have said that the reason was that they'd changed the payment schedule and op has determined that's a lie. And OP is refusing to answer and questions about what the manager actually said.

NetZeroZealot · 29/11/2025 08:48

Butterflyarms · 29/11/2025 08:47

You need to get all the other parents on board and complain together. She will take it more seriously if there is a group of you, and you are less likely to end up feeling like you have to remove your child.

Good advice

Butterflyarms · 29/11/2025 08:47

You need to get all the other parents on board and complain together. She will take it more seriously if there is a group of you, and you are less likely to end up feeling like you have to remove your child.

justanotherpassword · 29/11/2025 08:47

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:34

Neither. I'm just beyond frustrated at how willfully people are misunderstanding my situation.

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Think about it OP. Why would a bunch of internet strangers misunderstand a situation that you are saying you are explaining clearly. It’s all a conspiracy. Maybe they all work for the nursery….

In seriousness the charge was probably put on the account earlier than expected or they changed the way they charge for it. Can happen. Just check how many payments will be going out in total and what months in total the activity will run for.

Is this really the hill to die on with your nursery?

Bryonyberries · 29/11/2025 08:46

How did it come to light they aren’t doing the activity? Did your child say or the nursery staff?

Young children sometimes refuse to take part in things that are offered so it might appear they aren’t doing it or was it more structured so they should be taking home paintings or crafts and your child isn’t?

NetZeroZealot · 29/11/2025 08:46

What did they say when you called them out on the lie?

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:44

Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:42

Im a cm, I'll try that with my parents next month!

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Exactly. It's deception and tantamount to theft. I've not misunderstood their pricing structure or anything else. They've blatantly lied to cover their tracks.

OP posts:
GoodQueenWenceslaus · 29/11/2025 08:44

So what is the bullshit that they are giving you? They must be offering some sort of justification for making the charge?

Didimum · 29/11/2025 08:44

LavenderBlue19 · 29/11/2025 08:39

But if you find a good nursery that your children are happy at and you feel comfortable with, it's worth its weight in gold. Yes it's annoying, we know they're money making machines for someone (not the staff), but having good childcare is priceless.

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It’s not a good nursery if they are financially incompetent. Which, sadly, many nurseries are.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/11/2025 08:43

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:15

They didn't say anything. They let everyone think the activity was taking place when infact it wasn't. This came to light, so I rang to ask why we were being charged for something that wasn't happening and I was just given a load of bullshit.

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I was just given a load of bullshit

Which was? What was their explanation?

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:42

Namenamchange · 29/11/2025 08:26

I think that’s awful of the nursery, and deceptive and grabby. If they are a chain I would bypass the manager and go to accounts.

Depending on how many children are charged, it could work out a lot of money.

I’d question their integrity, and wonder what else they lied about.

Thank you. Trust and integrity are critical and they've eroded both.

OP posts:
Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:42

LavenderBlue19 · 29/11/2025 08:39

But if you find a good nursery that your children are happy at and you feel comfortable with, it's worth its weight in gold. Yes it's annoying, we know they're money making machines for someone (not the staff), but having good childcare is priceless.

Show quote history

Im a cm, I'll try that with my parents next month!

Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:40

lessglittermoremud · 29/11/2025 08:36

But if OP is able to access childcare funding so is getting a proportion of hours free then paying an extra £40 over the winter when they can’t go outside so much so need indoor activities etc is not something I could get this cross about, if she is paying top whack for all her hours as doesn’t fit the criteria for any childcare funded places then it’s slightly different.
My point is that even paying £40 extra it’s unlikely that she is paying 2 lots of full nursery fees so is better off.

Edited
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I'm a childminder, I am paid funding and have a price list for extras. Would you be happy for me to pop an extra £40 on my invoices with no service rendered just because you've already got a low bill? Or is it just nurseries that are allowed?

NetZeroZealot · 29/11/2025 08:40

What reason did the nursery give for not refunding you? Apologies if you’ve explained up thread & I’ve missed it.

Moonnstars · 29/11/2025 08:40

I think you have been misleading in your posts. Initially you mention it being an activity that starts in Dec which is why everyone is telling you it is payment in advance.
Somewhere you seem to have changed the story to the activity should have started in Nov. Maybe if you were clearer with the dates it would make more sense.
I don't think a refund is necessary if they now only charge the months it does happen, so if it finishes in Feb then Jan is the last time you pay the fee.

RappelChoan · 29/11/2025 08:39

What’s the reason for it not happening and how did it come to light? What did the manager say about why it hasn’t happened?

Is it outsourced or in house?

The cynic in me is wondering if nursery have decided to run their own ‘yoga’ sessions instead of getting Yoga R Us to come in, but still charging for it as a special activity.

LavenderBlue19 · 29/11/2025 08:39

Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:37

And this is why they get away with it.

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But if you find a good nursery that your children are happy at and you feel comfortable with, it's worth its weight in gold. Yes it's annoying, we know they're money making machines for someone (not the staff), but having good childcare is priceless.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:39

Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:37

And this is why they get away with it.

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Exactly and it grinds my gears.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 08:38

lessglittermoremud · 29/11/2025 08:36

But if OP is able to access childcare funding so is getting a proportion of hours free then paying an extra £40 over the winter when they can’t go outside so much so need indoor activities etc is not something I could get this cross about, if she is paying top whack for all her hours as doesn’t fit the criteria for any childcare funded places then it’s slightly different.
My point is that even paying £40 extra it’s unlikely that she is paying 2 lots of full nursery fees so is better off.

Edited
Show quote history

I pay top whack and no funding.

OP posts:
Nickyknackered · 29/11/2025 08:37

LavenderBlue19 · 29/11/2025 08:36

Are good quality nursery places abundant where you live? Because I certainly wouldn't be souring relations with nursery for the sake of £40.

And this is why they get away with it.

lessglittermoremud · 29/11/2025 08:37

LavenderBlue19 · 29/11/2025 08:36

Are good quality nursery places abundant where you live? Because I certainly wouldn't be souring relations with nursery for the sake of £40.

Thank you! Exactly my point!

Didimum · 29/11/2025 08:37

For everyone saying that it’s just been paid for in advance, unlike previous years? Don’t you think the nursery manager would have just said this to OP in the first place to clear it all up?

Manager clearly didn’t so that’s not the solution.