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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse to pay this nursery charge

412 replies

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:17

2 children in nursery. Been really happy there. A few niggles but nothing major. This month's bill had a £40 per child charge for an activity that they only do in winter. It usually kicks in in December through to April but this time they've charged it early. The issue is that they've not actually done the activity yet. I spoke to the manager about it and she was very abrasive and came out with some absolute nonsense about why it was on the bill. She lied and expected me to just suck it up. I'm livid but the conversation is over as far as she's concerned and if I push it any further, I risk being asked to leave. Do I just write it off for the sake of peace and my blood pressure?

OP posts:
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lingmerth · 30/11/2025 16:22

Is this part of a chain of nurseries or a stand alone one? Like others have said you need to put this in writing and then you’ll have a reply in writing that you can use to take your complaint further to the owners or the person responsible for overseeing your particular nursery. If there is no response then you go directly to the people above.
If every family has been charged £40 for an activity that has not taken place and with no cost to the nursery that’s tantamount to theft and completely dishonest.
Admittedly I have no experience of how nurseries operate but I did manage a before/afterschool club for 20 years and can’t believe you’d be asked to leave over a dispute for paying for a service you haven’t received.
Im outraged on your behalf! Good luck!

BushPack · 30/11/2025 15:26

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VikaOlson · 30/11/2025 12:13

Jeronnemo · 30/11/2025 08:25

Oh for goodness sake. What do you mean by "either"? Why in God's name would I fabricate the £40 charge? If I was going to come up with a cock n bull story, I'd make it a damn sight more interesting than a nursery adding an additional fee in Winter. When I say it doesn't cost them anything, I mean that they haven't brought in extra staff, outside help or had to buy in material of any kind in advance that would perish if not used.

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What are you paying the charge for then?

sorrynotathome · 30/11/2025 10:55

Jeronnemo · 30/11/2025 08:25

Oh for goodness sake. What do you mean by "either"? Why in God's name would I fabricate the £40 charge? If I was going to come up with a cock n bull story, I'd make it a damn sight more interesting than a nursery adding an additional fee in Winter. When I say it doesn't cost them anything, I mean that they haven't brought in extra staff, outside help or had to buy in material of any kind in advance that would perish if not used.

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Just joshing - honestly didn't mean to offend. But I'm wracking my brains and I know that if the activity were revealed to us, we would all be going "Ohhhhhhh of course!!" It's a real brainteaser and in fiction we would get the answer, but this is real life and I'm frustrated at my lack of imagination. Ho hum. :)

CatchTheWind1920 · 30/11/2025 09:36

Can you maybe approach it with other parents together? Safety in numbers...?

It's disgusting a nursery would charge parents for an activity that didn't take place, especially close to Christmas.

Didimum · 30/11/2025 08:31

MandyAndLola · 30/11/2025 08:15

Based on the nature of your responses I’m not surprised that YOU find it aggressive.

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It’s flattering you’ve taken the time out of your day.

Original poster
Jeronnemo · 30/11/2025 08:25

sorrynotathome · 30/11/2025 07:37

Ah but it IS interesting to me - why so many people would be prepared to cough up £40 per month for an activity which apparently costs the nursery nothing to provide. It is of material impact because it’s baffling if true. Or perhaps you’ve not been entirely clear about this aspect of the story either, OP… 😉

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Oh for goodness sake. What do you mean by "either"? Why in God's name would I fabricate the £40 charge? If I was going to come up with a cock n bull story, I'd make it a damn sight more interesting than a nursery adding an additional fee in Winter. When I say it doesn't cost them anything, I mean that they haven't brought in extra staff, outside help or had to buy in material of any kind in advance that would perish if not used.

OP posts:
MandyAndLola · 30/11/2025 08:15

Didimum · 29/11/2025 20:55

I find it highly aggressive.

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Based on the nature of your responses I’m not surprised that YOU find it aggressive.

sorrynotathome · 30/11/2025 07:37

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 16:56

Every other day ish but I'm not saying. Sorry. It's really of no material impact on the situation. It's not in any way interesting either, so I really wouldn't give it another minutes thought!!

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Ah but it IS interesting to me - why so many people would be prepared to cough up £40 per month for an activity which apparently costs the nursery nothing to provide. It is of material impact because it’s baffling if true. Or perhaps you’ve not been entirely clear about this aspect of the story either, OP… 😉

Didimum · 29/11/2025 20:55

CharnwoodFire · 29/11/2025 20:21

Whilst the majority of posts on mumsnet are straight to the point, most are not aggressive?

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I find it highly aggressive.

CharnwoodFire · 29/11/2025 20:21

Didimum · 29/11/2025 12:09

Good luck on Mumsnet!

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Whilst the majority of posts on mumsnet are straight to the point, most are not aggressive?

IAmKerplunk · 29/11/2025 19:24

To be fair I didn’t quite get what op meant initially until other posters clarified/put it in a way i could understand and I don’t think I am stupid 🙈

Didimum · 29/11/2025 18:58

Makingpeace · 29/11/2025 18:23

Actually it was unclear. She didn't explain it was a recurring activity that had been paid for and sessions missed. There was a common misconception that it was a one-off activity, paid in advance that was expected to occur next month.

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Yes, she did. She says on page 1 that its monthly.

Didimum · 29/11/2025 18:50

Muffinmam · 29/11/2025 17:37

Then what is the issue??

The activity is going to be done in December.

What don’t you understand??

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It’s a monthly charge for the activity to take place every month. OP says this on page one.

What don’t YOU understand?

Makingpeace · 29/11/2025 18:23

Didimum · 29/11/2025 11:58

It’s perfectly understandable and OP has explained multiple times.

She pays £40 per month, per child, for an activity that takes place Dec, Jan, Feb, March and April. She pays on the 1st of the month for that month’s attendance and activity. This year they charged for the activity on 1st November, but the activity did not happen in November. She will continue to pay on 1st Dec, Feb, March and April, so had paid for an extra month.

Read the thread. It’s not unclear.

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Actually it was unclear. She didn't explain it was a recurring activity that had been paid for and sessions missed. There was a common misconception that it was a one-off activity, paid in advance that was expected to occur next month.

Livpool · 29/11/2025 18:23

Didimum · 29/11/2025 09:46

Then why wouldn’t the nursery manager just say that then?

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We don’t know what they said as OP won’t explain as it was lies and word salad

RawBloomers · 29/11/2025 17:58

Muffinmam · 29/11/2025 17:37

Then what is the issue??

The activity is going to be done in December.

What don’t you understand??

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She doesn’t understand why she been charged for November AND December when it’s only happening in December.

IAmKerplunk · 29/11/2025 17:55

Muffinmam · 29/11/2025 17:37

Then what is the issue??

The activity is going to be done in December.

What don’t you understand??

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The op will pay for Decembers activity on 1st December.
The issue is she paid in November for the activity to happen in November and it didn’t. The manager hasn’t given a clear reason as to why.

wordler · 29/11/2025 17:42

Muffinmam · 29/11/2025 17:37

Then what is the issue??

The activity is going to be done in December.

What don’t you understand??

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OP is saying that she will be charged again in December for the activity.

The charge is monthly through the winter months and started in November this year but the activity did not start even though the payment has started.

StripyHorse · 29/11/2025 17:42

I would take a pragmatic approach. You have paid, and as long as you pay for the same number of times the activity takes place, just accept it. Potentially, you won't know how many months you are charded for (in total) until spring.

Note down when the activity is done.
Note the months you pay £40.

If, e.g. you pay Nov, Dec, Jan and the activity is done Dec, Jan, Feb - let it be. It's frustrating, but at least you have (eventually) got what you paid for.

If, when the activity has finished, you have ended up paying an extra month, raise it again.

Muffinmam · 29/11/2025 17:37

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 07:36

Yes.

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Then what is the issue??

The activity is going to be done in December.

What don’t you understand??

VikaOlson · 29/11/2025 17:37

Is it really an 'activity charge' or is it a top up to make up for the funding shortfall?

They can't really charge for an activity that costs nothing, needs no resources or additional staff.

Didimum · 29/11/2025 17:18

LAMPS1 · 29/11/2025 15:19

Nurseries have to make up a short fall in funding from the government.
It’s a terrible position that the government put early years providers in by making them sign a contact which says they won’t charge a top up fee if the child is funded. The government want to maintain the ‘we provide free childcare’ mantra which is completely false. They only partly subsidise the child. The shortfall has to come from somewhere.
Nurseries therefore have to get the understanding of potential parents over this matter before they sign up for a place. Most parents don’t understand this awful anomaly. It’s very difficult to explain because of the contract providers are forced to sign with the County Council through whom the funding goes to the provider,
That’s why a lot of providers have closed over recent years. They are caught between a rock and a hard place. It is impossible to provide quality care for the funding provided by government.

Do you maybe think that this could have been the reason for the word salad lie ?

The shortfall has to come from somewhere.

Not from nurseries lying to parents about charges though.

Didimum · 29/11/2025 17:16

Soontobe60 · 29/11/2025 14:58

What about ‘November’?

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These replies are taking the piss now.

wordler · 29/11/2025 17:02

Jeronnemo · 29/11/2025 16:56

Every other day ish but I'm not saying. Sorry. It's really of no material impact on the situation. It's not in any way interesting either, so I really wouldn't give it another minutes thought!!

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Well it was sort of relevant to the earlier discussion because people were wondering if the need to order in materials, equipment or an outside teacher might have led to the need to pay a month in advance for the activity.

But now you’ve clarified that there’s no extra people, materials or equipment needed it becomes baffling that they are charging an extra £40 per child per month when they have no extra outlays for the activity.

In which case it feels more like a winter tax to cover extra heating / lighting costs and they’ve used the ‘activity’ as a way to bill this.

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