Why is BD partner obsessed with me

She’s only going by what he’s told her about you. If he’s abusive he’s probably feeding her lies either about how much better you are than she is, or about how hard done by he was by you. Remember she is likely in the same kind of awful relationship you were in, and she’s likely in denial. Let her get on with it. There’s nothing like a bitchy passive-aggressive post to show you who’s unhappy.

1. Do not look at her social media.
2. Be firm with your entourage ; they are not to send you any of her posts or talk about her with you. If any transgression- get angry with them. It's shitstirring and aimed to hurt you.
3. Don't write any posts that are aimed indirectly at your ex. Talk with friends irl- It's better.

Just ignore it and get on with your life

I agree with the above posts, Forest Fires has explained what’s probably happening very well. I would probably dismiss it next time someone lets you know about this woman’s indirects, and maybe even make a post of your own about feeling free of others judgement or being at peace with yourself.

Even if she somehow saw your post from years ago about surviving a toxic relationship, it was nothing to do with her and I would take it that both of them are clearly miserable. If you do ever have contact with her, kill her with kindness. It will bother him more than anything as it will make him look ridiculous, and it won’t make anything worse or more unpleasant for your child who has to spend time there.

All in all I would blame him more than her. She doesn’t know you and is most likely going off of lies or manipulation tactics that he’s using. The best revenge is to be happy and glad you’re rid of him.

This narrative will have been fed to her by your ex, or constructed from the information he has given her. It's probably also the narrative she uses to strengthen her own denial of the abuse that's probably happening to her. at the hands of her partner. A deflection of reality.
Very odd that she's ramping it up after a decade , unless it's directly related to her own experiences?
It's unlikely you'll get change from her. I'd ignore what you can't control here. I try to remind myself that other people's opinions of me are none of my business.( I try 🫣)

She sounds nuts and jealous tbh. I can only imagine if you are consuming her brain like this that you must be on her mind? Jealous maybe? You’ve got kids with him and she doesn’t? I don’t know some women are flipping mental honestly. She’s probably obsessed with your BD and can’t cope that he’s got ties like this to another woman 😩