Why is BD partner obsessed with me

I agree with a lot of what the others are saying, he will be using you as an excuse for his behaviour, tell your friends in no uncertain terms to stop sending you things that they see (and actually then if they continue to be friends with you both and forward you nasty stuff she’s posted I would want to re-evaluate the friendship)
The real concern though is your child who is presumably stuck in the middle of this hearing awful things about you when they go to their dad’s house.

I think supporting and safeguarding your dc in this needs to be your top priority.

What kind of friends would do that? OP should tell them to ignore the posts and not show them to her.

Are you certain it’s about you? Could be about a family member’s partner etc. Just ignore.

Your friends and family are shit stirring by forwarding on this stuff, presumably hoping that there will be some drama.

I'd tell them that you're not really interested in what ex's partner posts as your focus is on the kids and to stop sending these things on. If they keep doing it, I'd call it out - I've asked you to stop and you haven't, is it that you agree with the posts or that you are hoping to create bad feeling and drama between us, if you do it again, I'll have to block you - and then block them if they do it again.

You need to ignore or laugh it off… she is being fed this crap by your ex… and if she is still saying stuff on social media it means he is still saying stuff to her…. While you say you only ever talk about the kids imagine what bullcrap he is saying to her. I bet anything he is getting out of a whole lot of bills and paying things and “blaming” you that you are constantly harassing him for money etc 🤣🤣🤣

1 pity the woman as she’s with this dropkick

1. tell your “friends” in no uncertain terms do I not want to hear anymore of her toxicity

I know I might be alone in this but if a Man insisted to me that all of his Ex’s were toxic I’d be blaming his judgement and wondering why he kept repeating the cycle and not taking time out to try and understand himself better. What woukd probably be prominent on my mind though is there is a common denominator in these relationships, and it appears to be you and I would them give him a huge swerve.

I agree with the above posters, it's highly likely that your ex has spun her some tales about what happens. It's odd though, given your minimal interaction with your ex and the fact you DON'T follow her, are your friend's mistaken? Could the posts be about someone else, a close friend, a brother maybe?

I think you are handling the situation perfectly, the only thing I would suggest is to ask you friends not to tell you about the things she is posting. Tell them you don't follow her for a reason, your minimal contact with him is for a reason, they may mean well but they are stoking a fire that doesn't need to be lit.

Well done OP for keeping it classy and not rising to it.

She doesn’t see it. She already said that. Her friends are forwarding it all to her and therein lies the problem. Her ‘friends’ are shit stirring. She needs to tell them to stop showing it to her.

Why did OP even need to make a big ‘empowering’ post that she will have known full well was going to get back to them? Some successes are better celebrated discreetly without a social media fanfare.

The OP states that she doesn’t see the posts. She doesn’t follow her Ex’s Partner on SM and it’s her friends avd family who forward on her posts to the OP.

Why do you see her social media? Just block her.

Well yes she only has his side of things but surely by posting what you did years ago which essentially matches the same description of what she’s doing - indirect, veiled, not naming any names but could only have been for the benefit of one person - that wasn’t really any different to what she’s doing? It sounds like she was only matching your energy initially but has kept it going longer.

Ask anyone showing you this rubbish to stop. If they don’t they’re not your friend (wtf are they sending it to you anyway?!)

Men are often completely clueless about themselves. His version of events will differ dramatically from yours and I wouldn't be surprised if he has/does outright lie about things.
She might have been saying "we should all go out together with the kids. Let's invite Level3Hotsauce." and rather than admit that he was awful to you and you wouldn't want to do that, or even admitting that he doesn't want to do that, he'll put the blame on you and just say: "I asked and she isn't interested."
Things like that (an example plucked from the experience of a friend) just chip away at someone's perception of a situation and if someone is prone to social media toxicity it can exacerbate it!

I’d say either he’s spinning a story about how your negatively affect his life. Or it’s just totally made up for attention and is actually nothing to do with you.

I agree with If you're only in contact with your ex about the DC and minimally at that, why are even seeing his partner's SM posts? Severe the contact. Unfollow. Block. Whatever you need to do to create digital distance. Block her. There’s no reason for you to see what she posts. Be very short with anyone who is coming to you to tell you what she posts - you’re not interested.

🤮

If you're only in contact with your ex about the DC and minimally at that, why are even seeing his partner's SM posts? Severe the contact. Unfollow. Block. Whatever you need to do to create digital distance.

Agree with previous posters that she is constructing this narrative about you based on how your Ex manipulates her.

I wouldn't call it normal behaviour, but it's not uncommon for a woman with an abusive partner to believe their partner's exs were and are awful. And while the majority of people don't post that sort of passive aggressive dig on social media, still far too many people do. It's not worth your time even thinking about it.

Sadly, it is quite 'normal' for the new partner of a man to believe his sob story about his 'bitter' ex. He's not going to have told her the truth about you, he will have twisted it to make you look bad. Add to this a common resentment that a man has a child with another woman, and her dislike of you is fixed. It's also 'normal' in our society for people to put every thought in their head on the SM and use it a a safe space to attack people they don't like. She is having a go at you, and visisibly supporting 'her man'. If I were you I'd stay off her SM because she isn't going to stop.

Thanks

Ah thank you I can stop trying to work out what it was.🙏

Baby Daddy's partner presumably.

Baby daddy’s partner

You know that your ex is abusive so it’s highly likely that this is happening because of things which he is doing.

Eg she buys tickets to a concert that she wants to go to and asks him to swap contact days with you. He doesn’t but tells her you’ve threatened to withhold contact for a year if he asks to switch. She then posts shit on Facebook.

She asks why he hasn’t gone to parents evening when he just can’t be bothered. He tells her everyone at school hates him because you’ve told them lies about him abusing you so he can’t go to parents evening because last time he tried the teachers threatened to call the police when he’s innocent and it’s all your fault. She posts shit on Facebook.

I'd just ignore her. Protect your peace as otherwise you may open up all sorts with the ex.

Yes, this.

What's a BD partner?