Page 2 | Not able to eat at school? Punitive systems

Puffin69 · 30/11/2025 00:04

justpassmethemouse · 29/11/2025 00:14

If the late detentions are held the same day as the lateness, he’d have to take a packed lunch every single day just in case! Which would be ridiculous as he’s entitled to FSM.

No. Just some emergency rations. Muesli bars, dried fruit, nuts if allowed and a sealed drink.

Puffin69 · 29/11/2025 23:50

Yes it sounds insane. Do the people setting this think of the affect on the child, his teacher and his classmates durinv the after lunch class/classes? Seems the biggest punishment might be to the teacher. It should be changed but in the meantime prepare am emergency kit for his bag (it is a good idea anyway) and see if you can find workrounds for the things causing delays. When he has been on-time for a while approach the school board. I am pretty sure if the punishment was phased ad "because you were late you are not allowed lunch" it would be illegal and that is basically what they are saying.

Original poster

RainbowDaffodil · 29/11/2025 22:51

I guess for me it feels like I’ve spent 15.5 years raising a decent balanced child, within healthy parameters for things. In three months he has unhealthy eating habits, has lost interest in praise and no longer revises or engages in subjects. Looks a bit dead, does necessary tasks. In September he was eager to get reward points, now he sees it as a random system he doesn’t try in. Hasn’t read a book in months. I’m not blind to the wider system needing to work and when weighing up procedures it can never be perfect for all… but it just all seems sad.
with home school, financially 8/9 private school entries are realistic. It would limit him. He should get 6+ in all in school, which will give him access to next steps that he wants to do.
I just don’t get it, I’m willing to sit on some points for the sake of a year and accessing exams. I just wish it had more balance

OP posts:

TheGrimSmile · 29/11/2025 22:19

Academy schools are run like little prisons. They're not about education but control and teaching the masses to be good workers for their masters. They are awful. Private schools treat their pupils with far more respect. It disgusts me.

Chinsupmeloves · 29/11/2025 21:42

As a parent and teacher I've found the whole new academy system very unfair. In the old days we would reluctantly give a lunch time detention as it was immediate, for 15 mins within an hour so they had plenty of time to eat and go to the loo.

As teachers we had to do these ourselves in our classrooms so also ate into our lunchtime, excuse the pun!

Lunchtimes are awful in new built academies, especially those with half hour break, though many do rotated times. So many students crammed into queues, scoff, no time for fresh air, play a game of footie, queue for the toilets etc.

I do genuinely feel for those who haven't had chance for a toilet trip (yes in some cases it's because they've been doing their make up and chatting) so I let them go, one at a time, after a wait a bit please. You can tell when it's genuine. For us it's so hard when you haven't had chance to go, choice of eat and have a drink or toilet! Trying to cram it all in when in duty is a fine tooth movement lol 😆

littlemousebigcheese · 29/11/2025 21:22

Sounds less like a time to eat thing and more of a he can’t access a toilet often enough so he restricts his intake? A packed lunch he’d be able to eat some in ten minute break and ten minutes at end of detention so if he’s not, it’s a choice. The no access to toilet would really annoy me. As an ex teacher the toilets were a constant source of frustration as a few would just hang out there, bully others, mess them up and flood sinks etc so all toilets were locked during lessons and then no way can every child use them during short break periods. Infuriating

Jeska7 · 29/11/2025 21:15

In my son’s school the detention is not the same day which I think is better. It means the parents get a message that their child will have lunchtime detection in two days time. The child / parent can be more prepared (eg child get lunch / snack at break or parent send packed lunch etc).

LouiseK93 · 29/11/2025 20:45

Its not actually right he got a detention for being late. It was beyond his control.
My daughter got a detention for being late, even after I phoned them and told them she woukd be late because my dads car had broken down on the way to take her to school. I told them she would not be serving the detention.

tarheelbaby · 29/11/2025 19:56

Preface: I haven't read the whole thread but .. Keep contacting and demand meetings; this is not ok at any school (academy, hahaha, or otherwise)

Any penalties for being late to tutor/lesson 1 are down to late buses so I'd demand that those penalties be overturned (should not have been given!) and that the school look at their busing/transport systems. Penalising pupils for using transport is wrong.

At my DDs' school, the bus for our village went through a period of several years when it was unreliable. Now that they have sorted that (buy assigning it to a specific DH) it's a non-issue but during the time it was a shambles.

Do contact urgenly his tutor/form teacher and demand (don't just ask) for intervention so that he can eat during the day. Denying food/water/loo breaks is inhumane. There are laws for water/loo breaks for workers ...

converseandjeans · 29/11/2025 19:45

I teach secondary & that sounds very intense. No wonder teenagers are stressed out! He should have 10 mins to grab lunch. He needs time to eat & use the toilet. I wouldn’t agree to the lunch interventions. The detention for not having a pen seems OTT. I would personally just lend a pen in that situation. I would send another email & raise these concerns. He can’t be the only one in this situation?

movinghomeadvice · 29/11/2025 19:43

This website breaks down government rules on school behaviour policy: https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/discipline-within-school/

It clearly states:
‘With lunchtime detentions, staff should allow reasonable time for the pupil to eat, drink and use the toilet. School staff should not issue a detention where there is any reasonable concern that doing so would compromise a pupil's safety.’

Discipline within school - childlawadvice.org.uk

This page explains the law on barring a parent from entering the premises of a school including how a parent can make representations about this and the consequences of breaching a bar.

https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/discipline-within-school

movinghomeadvice · 29/11/2025 19:37

RainbowDaffodil · 28/11/2025 23:36

What I’d want in an ideal world:
-lunch, some way of eating. Ideally hot food, access to his FSM entitlement. Minimum to be allowed to eat a sandwich in Intervention rooms or detention (it’s not).
-a chance to just have a 5 min phone call for awareness he’s struggling a little, even if just to say politely if when he does improve or do well to also use positive behaviour points for a balance? I think it’s a grind to try and try in good faith and every minor slip gets you a detention. I’d crack up working like that, and I’m an adult. Or even just a few min dialogue around how he’s settled in, I’m guessing so much I think with how it’s going- other than knowing he’s been late twice this term, broke a pen sitting on it, forgot homework once, didn’t do online homework when he couldn’t access it. He fractured two fingers in school and they ignored my letter about writing being hard and suggesting a solution/ support. He pushed through that which I think shows his attitude to really trying. Maybe impacted assessments

Show quote history

I would focus on the first point. He absolutely needs time to eat, even if he’s received a ridiculous detention. You are absolutely within your rights to push that with the school.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure you’ll get far on the second point. Some genius in school leadership has decided that the school should be phone-free, but also, everything is communicated by an app that none of the students can access!? Absolutely batshit.
However, you probably won’t get far with changing anything here.

Focus on the lunchtimes, and if the school is useless even on this basic issue, then you’re going to have to find a solution of a handheld lunch that can be quickly eaten anywhere. E.g. sausage roll, small roll with ham and cheese etc. He could then have a proper ‘meal’ after school perhaps, late afternoon.

It sucks that you don’t have other school options, but you just have to work with what you’ve got. Your son sounds amazing and very resilient, like pp have said.

CecKnight · 29/11/2025 19:37

A school that punishes pupils - however bad their behaviour - by preventing them from eating their lunch, is not suitable for any child let alone your son. Find him a more civilised school in which to learn and develop.
You might also discuss the issue with a parent governor because this is not just a daily management issue - it is a matter of principle and policy.

SevenYellowHammers · 29/11/2025 19:30

RainbowDaffodil · 28/11/2025 21:51

My son has started at a new secondary school. Firstly, I have no issue with detentions and I welcome interventions… but surely all lunchtime is madness?

He was late for example yesterday (bus, traffic -perfect storm. He’s usually very early), punctuality detention is lunchtime 1.25 to 2.05. Lunchtime is 1.25 to 2.15 but the canteen isn’t functioning for the last five min of lunch, which is when he’d get there.

The intervention he’s given in two subjects is the same time two lunchtimes a week. 1.25 to 2.05. I got him to say to the teachers he wanted to go, but he needs to eat. They shrugged and said he’s down for interventions and has to go. No solution or dialogue.

The school day is full, 8.15-3.15. 15 min break at 11:20. Some days they also have expectations for after school work too.

Is this in anyway remotely normal nowadays? My son is a robust kinda kid, friends and confident, but he’s starting to look run down. I get this as I’d be run down! He used to eat me out of house and home but lately he’s going 8-4 without food a few days a week, even with a packed lunch it’s been eaten after school. It’s partly getting time and partly the access to toilets not been there, they seem to manage it restricting drink and food.

He works hard, likes teachers but from my view it’s a punitive system of constant directed time, little access to food or toilets and a behaviour point system where getting one positive point in six weeks is a feat but sitting on a pen and snapping it can land you in detention for not being properly equipped (silly mistake, put his biro in a pocket and sat down). Another behaviour point was for being slow with work-I helped him to understand it at home, he was just stuck and didn’t get a new concept. No negative points are for rudeness/ disruption or any active actions but it’s so easy to get them it feels.

Communication is on the app and all one way. Recently I noticed he had some unauthorised absences so I emailed to ask if he was truanting or it was an error. No reply, but they disappeared on the app. I contacted them too at the start, he wasn’t given an IT account when he started and all the homework is online. He asked lots of times and I emailed but it was weeks of detentions for not doing homework while he couldn’t access the system.

It feels nuts!

Yep, that’s what schools are like now . Kafkaesque authoritarian and automated. Apparently schools have no money but the can afford all these stupid apps which deskill teachers, confuse parents and demotivate kids . This is entirely down to academization and capitalism.

themerchentofvenus · 29/11/2025 15:33

RainbowDaffodil · 29/11/2025 12:27

Tbh a lot of this is going into wider issues that are probably not resolvable. He can not move school at this point in the game and they aren’t going to change.
I think it’s more about how much to push back on lunch and how unusual it is. In principle, I could send a packed lunch everyday and it would partially manage issues… but I do feel quite strongly about hot food most days and reasonable access to food for a kid that needs it so much

At our school lots of the FSM kids who do lunch time clubs get their hot food at break and have a somewhat early lunch. Is that feasible?

smallglassbottle · 29/11/2025 15:01

If schools aren't satisfactory, online schooling can always be an option. They're more affordable than conventional private schools as well. Socialising opportunities can come from community clubs and cadets.

MrsSlocombesCat · 29/11/2025 12:37

A negative school experience can lead to MH issues as an adult so I would be looking at home schooling. I wish I had done it with my son.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 29/11/2025 12:33

Octavia64 · 28/11/2025 22:05

Ok.

so, one at a time. Yes, lunchtime detentions are normal. Yes, many secondaries have canteens that are overwhelmed and busy. You need to send in food. Quick snack but filling for the break and something quick and easy to eat at lunchtime.

i worked as a secondary teacher for many years and a lot of secondaries really just don’t have enough canteen space or time for the school. I used to take in a vegan sausage roll for “break” which was 11:30-11:40 and then eat a salad at lunch (1:20-2pm).

you do get used to it although it’s long gaps between food. Lots of kids (and teachers for that matter) just don’t eat and have a big meal after school.

interventions - why is a year 7 on these? In my school these are for year 11’s who can’t or won’t do homework. If he’s behind academically it would be more normal to drop a language and do extra maths and English.

homework - if it is on an online system then most schools will do a computer session where they give students passwords etc and step them through the process. If they have problems it is on the student to go to IT either at break lunch or afterschool and get it sorted. At my school kids with Sen would have it set up so a teacher could access and help them but all others were expected to handle it themselves. Does your child have Sen?

No, lots of teachers don’t get used to not eating. And it’s appalling that they do.

And as for kids not being able to eat!?

I was a secondary school teacher for 30 years.

Fiftyandme · 29/11/2025 12:30

Batshit school - I’d be putting my foot down

Original poster

RainbowDaffodil · 29/11/2025 12:27

Tbh a lot of this is going into wider issues that are probably not resolvable. He can not move school at this point in the game and they aren’t going to change.
I think it’s more about how much to push back on lunch and how unusual it is. In principle, I could send a packed lunch everyday and it would partially manage issues… but I do feel quite strongly about hot food most days and reasonable access to food for a kid that needs it so much

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NewUserName2244 · 29/11/2025 05:40

On a very practical note, is he able to use his fsm credit to buy a sandwich or a wrap and a drink at break from the cafeteria? And then eat some of it at break, some of it at lunch?

I know a proper cooked lunch would be better but it seems like this isn’t feasible for him.

For the interventions I think he just needs to suck these up. The interventions are happening because he’s moved school at a really bad time for gcse and they’re trying to get him up to speed.

For the detentions, is there a peer or a teacher who he trusts and is supportive? Can he sit down with someone and make sure he understands exactly what causes these and why? And then could the two of you come up with some strategies to try and reduce them like keeping a spare pen in his bag?

I don’t blame you at all for moving school, housing is so tricky to manage unless you are well off, but I do think that is having a massive effect here.

Looking ahead, is there a 6th form college anywhere nearby so that you can move him after GCSEs into an environment where everyone is starting fresh and he’s treated a bit more like an adult? If he wants to obviously.

WiltedLettuce · 29/11/2025 05:31

The school sounds awful.

Your son sounds wonderfully resilient. You must be so proud of him.

Personally, I'd just ask him if there's anything at all you can do to make his school or home life easier and just support him best you can - he's approaching this madness with a "can do" attitude which will take him far in life.

Yeah, it amazes me nowadays that schools think they have the right to demand so much of children while giving them such a shit experience of learning and childhood.

We've really screwed things up for our kids as a society, if a child can't be properly supported in unexpectedly starting a new school.

ByCyanMoose · 29/11/2025 05:11

Tvslumper · 28/11/2025 23:09

Ours is similar and on days when they have pe, the massive pe kit (and the fact that they aren’t allowed lockers so have to carry coats all day too) means that along with books/ musical instruments , my little lad looks like a laden camel and simply hates having to cart lunch/ water too. Combine this with all the hustle and bustle at lunch means he frequently goes without lunch :(
Not that the suso and and pasta pot combo is particularly nutritious anyway .
He always comes out of school bursting for a wee because they have some sort of locked toilets policy for most of the day too.
The health and wellbeing of pupils isn’t the first priority though. My school would far rather a child be in ‘correct’ shoes (silly brogues, freezing blazer) in winter rather than in weather appropriate winter clothes (boots / coat), regardless of the fact that we live fairly rurally with extreme weather and and the school is liable to close in the middle of the day and expects students to walk home if roads are impassable in snow. I just don’t see that wearing winter boots is a massive affront to equality 🤷‍♀️ but that’s a whole other tangent.

It amazes me that the staff at these kinds of schools expect to get any respect at all, given that they are basically in an abusive relationship with their students.

Original poster

RainbowDaffodil · 29/11/2025 00:32

Octavia64 · 29/11/2025 00:13

Ok.

sounds like a tricky school to be in.

schools often have shorter lunchtimes to deal with social issues - ie if the kids only have time to eat they don’t have time to go around getting into fights. Saves a surprisingly large amount of senior staff time but it is quite brutal on both teachers and kids.

is the canteen open at break time? My school had a similar timetable but opened the canteen at break as well and honestly many kids ate their “lunch” then. As did staff.

if the management are in a situation where there are fights and it’s a generally low achieving set of kids then there often is a punitive approach.

does your dc know what he needs to do to get out of the interventions? (Ie does he know why he is there? - eg art coursework behind, maths work not on target etc. there will be a reason).

I think, I’m not sure, interventions are essentially revision sessions for various groups? He reports everyone seems to be in one, some are at different times. Some told say to go at lunch on weds, some after school Thursday. Tbh, neither of us have any real info. However, he says they have been useful and well pitched so I have no issue attending them, other than some now being planned at lunch. It’s both eating and I think he needs a brain break to learn.
I’m pretty confident there’s no real issue, just a system that’s a bit rubbish. There’s L3 detentions which he reckons are busy and they sound like they hand out suspensions more often than I’d expect. The first notable step in the procedures emailed a while ago is after 50 behaviour points in a term, he’s miles off that.

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justpassmethemouse · 29/11/2025 00:14

If the late detentions are held the same day as the lateness, he’d have to take a packed lunch every single day just in case! Which would be ridiculous as he’s entitled to FSM.