Not able to eat at school? Punitive systems

WiltedLettuce · 02/12/2025 11:28

If he is entitled to FSM, then the school should be treating it as a priority that he actually gets a chance to eat a hot meal at lunch. I'm shocked that they're not.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 02/12/2025 09:27

RainbowDaffodil · 02/12/2025 09:19

I think some posters will always have a ‘what if’- I could be stating detail after detail and another scenario will be put forward based on their perceptions- He’s probably lazy etc as in their school/ experience they believe xyz is the case really. It’s getting into a bit of a loop.

The late was cancelled off the app first thing this morning, he wasn’t late as I said and I messaged them to say I dropped him off so he didn’t enter through lates. The app now shows it is removed, though I can see the linked detention isn’t cancelled so I guess that’s going to be the issue when he comes home if he doesn’t go to it. They didn’t reply so I don’t know how it was added or why, they just changed it after my brief message. My sons theory is he’s mixed up with another boy often, that may not be accurate.

I’ll leave it to stand I disagree with the ‘serious incident’ report for the homework. He handed in 5 pieces yesterday, 1 90% complete. Behaviour point maybe, but the school lists ‘serious incident’ points in their policy such as fighting etc. I don’t think it’s proportionate. It’s his first piece in that subject not completed and aside from the ones where he couldn’t access the system it’s his second homework incomplete (he forgot a piece in September, left it in the hallway). It’s not part of a pattern before that’s raised that could be serious. Homework is high volume and he is doing it. He’s btw never had a behaviour point for active misbehaviour. The teacher didn’t speak to him about the point or say why either.

thanks for comments, but I’m unlikely to reply past this point as it’s getting to be a loop of people sharing their experiences/ perceptions and answering through that lens in the most. Ultimately yes he is entitled to FSM, no it can’t be used outside lunchtime at the set time in anyway (yes, I hear some of you have different rules in your schools) and I’m not really wanting to spend loads on extra packed lunches to support the system they have which he may or may not have time to eat (yes I hear some of you do). I’ve written a calm letter I’ll hand in later with clear points about accessing food, and asking them to clearly state how this will be ensured on a daily basis as it is important and his entitlement. I have raised it is funded and that it’s already not been used on quite a few occasions as he hasn’t been able to (yes I hear some of you have ways of getting FSM in your schools that are different- I’ve checked with him and other families about this and read the website information). For now I’ve just addressed the eating issue.

I agree, OP.

And then they will be wondering why 20-30% of kids have poor attendance, and many of the others have poor mental health.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 02/12/2025 09:25

Lots of kids (and teachers for that matter) just don’t eat and have a big meal after school.

Yes but that's fucking bonkers and bullshit. How are they supposed to learn when they haven't eaten properly?

If DDs were starting secondary school now, knowing what I know now, I'd be starting a parent's union to stop this kind of thing. The secondary education system needs a massive overhaul.

Original poster

RainbowDaffodil · 02/12/2025 09:19

I think some posters will always have a ‘what if’- I could be stating detail after detail and another scenario will be put forward based on their perceptions- He’s probably lazy etc as in their school/ experience they believe xyz is the case really. It’s getting into a bit of a loop.

The late was cancelled off the app first thing this morning, he wasn’t late as I said and I messaged them to say I dropped him off so he didn’t enter through lates. The app now shows it is removed, though I can see the linked detention isn’t cancelled so I guess that’s going to be the issue when he comes home if he doesn’t go to it. They didn’t reply so I don’t know how it was added or why, they just changed it after my brief message. My sons theory is he’s mixed up with another boy often, that may not be accurate.

I’ll leave it to stand I disagree with the ‘serious incident’ report for the homework. He handed in 5 pieces yesterday, 1 90% complete. Behaviour point maybe, but the school lists ‘serious incident’ points in their policy such as fighting etc. I don’t think it’s proportionate. It’s his first piece in that subject not completed and aside from the ones where he couldn’t access the system it’s his second homework incomplete (he forgot a piece in September, left it in the hallway). It’s not part of a pattern before that’s raised that could be serious. Homework is high volume and he is doing it. He’s btw never had a behaviour point for active misbehaviour. The teacher didn’t speak to him about the point or say why either.

thanks for comments, but I’m unlikely to reply past this point as it’s getting to be a loop of people sharing their experiences/ perceptions and answering through that lens in the most. Ultimately yes he is entitled to FSM, no it can’t be used outside lunchtime at the set time in anyway (yes, I hear some of you have different rules in your schools) and I’m not really wanting to spend loads on extra packed lunches to support the system they have which he may or may not have time to eat (yes I hear some of you do). I’ve written a calm letter I’ll hand in later with clear points about accessing food, and asking them to clearly state how this will be ensured on a daily basis as it is important and his entitlement. I have raised it is funded and that it’s already not been used on quite a few occasions as he hasn’t been able to (yes I hear some of you have ways of getting FSM in your schools that are different- I’ve checked with him and other families about this and read the website information). For now I’ve just addressed the eating issue.

OP posts:

stomachamelon · 01/12/2025 22:30

@RainbowDaffodil that could be because he was actually late to the lesson. We have a window for the first lesson/ form and if they mess around or are otherwise engaged they may be marked late.

As he is year 11 I would see the interventions as a good thing and I imagine they add to support mocks. We have just had them too. They now take the foot off the gas until Christmas.

If I was the ‘mum’ in this situation I would contact your HOY and their pastoral manager and mention he is FSM. This is a huge area of concern as for some this is the only meal they have. He should at the very least be given a sandwich pack to eat. The school is being paid for his lunch. Every child eats a meal at my school.

I understand how difficult it is when you move in year 11 and you both have had to hit the ground running. The meal thing though I would be complaining about.

I strongly disagree with the whole ‘teachers don’t deserve the respect and it’s like a prison comments’ WE don’t make the rules. They come from SLT as do punitive behaviour policies. If I try and bend or accommodate I get hauled up so I have to be diplomatic. We do deserve respect from our students as we work bloody hard!

StruggleFlourish · 01/12/2025 22:02

Hi, Op, there's a lot of information here and four pages at the time of my writing, and I'm not going to make any comment about the school or its system because I haven't had an experience with a school like this, but could I go back to your original comment?

As for your son getting a lunch time detention that lasts almost the entire length of the lunch time, literally he is released with 10 minutes to spare in which case the canteen is not available... I'm thinking the best thing to do is to pack him with some high energy/high protein / wrapped and ready to go (do not need refrigeration / do not need reheating) foods. Think like what you would bring with you if you were going on a very grueling hike. Like top quality protein bars/jerky...
You might have to do a little research into survival camping/army type food ideas, for things that are ready to eat, room temperature, but nutritionally packed for your growing son's needs.

The situation does not sound good at all, I don't like the idea of schools being able to incarcerate a student for detention for almost their entire lunch hour, what if he were diabetic? He couldn't go around skipping meal times. I tell you, one good faint in class which then results in finding out that he hadn't had lunch because the schools been putting him in detentions the entire lunch time, might possibly get somewhere.
It always takes an incident or to before a stupid system gets tweaked. As far as the administration is concerned, if a student breaks their rules, the punishment is detention during lunch time. You don't get to eat your lunch? Too bad. It's part of the punishment. But if there were an incident as a result of this punishment, they'd have to change their tune.

Not suggesting that your son takes up fainting as his new hobby, just saying. But as a short-term solution, try looking into the good ready to eat foods he can keep in a backpack for those 10 minutes of lunch time that he gets

Bungle2168 · 01/12/2025 21:57

RainbowDaffodil · 01/12/2025 18:37

Tbf, no reports of screaming teachers. More a silent system.

Today I dropped him off, saw him walk in early. He has a late mark. Swears blind he wasn’t late to form, I watched him walk in.

He also got a ‘serious incident’ behaviour record on the app. For repeated failure to submit homework. The homework had 10 boxes. He filled in 9. Shouldn’t have just given up when he got stuck on the last one, but it seems a bit harsh for a first bit of non submitted home when he did 90%.

Just for a flavour of a day!

Seems there is more going on in the background than you are aware of. He may have been on the school premises on time, but if he was not present in class when the register was taken…

Your latest update suggests to me that your son’s attitude to attendance and homework is lackadaisical. Speak to to school to find out what is really going on and then take it from there.

GreatFish · 01/12/2025 21:20

My grandson was so excited when he joined his secondary school(he's yr7) but he is starting to dread going in.Feels like he's constantly singled out and when tries to explain shouted down or put into isolation.I know he probably will be drawn into situations(I'm not naive t o think otherwise)but I and his mom have always told him speak to people how you would like to be spoken to and he cannot grasp why some of the teachers are so awful.

Original poster

RainbowDaffodil · 01/12/2025 18:37

Tbf, no reports of screaming teachers. More a silent system.

Today I dropped him off, saw him walk in early. He has a late mark. Swears blind he wasn’t late to form, I watched him walk in.

He also got a ‘serious incident’ behaviour record on the app. For repeated failure to submit homework. The homework had 10 boxes. He filled in 9. Shouldn’t have just given up when he got stuck on the last one, but it seems a bit harsh for a first bit of non submitted home when he did 90%.

Just for a flavour of a day!

OP posts:

SevenYellowHammers · 01/12/2025 14:14

GreatFish · 01/12/2025 09:21

My grandson has the same problem. Slightest thing and teachers are screaming at him then automatic detention.He's not allowed to explain himself referred to being cheeky or answering back.A lot of the teachers are disrespectful so when he responds disrespectfully another detention.I know teaching kids is a stressful job but why can't they be spoken and listened to in a calm manner.

I’m not making excuses but it’s because teachers are being bullied and threatened by Headteachers and their teams of flunkies. Schools are becoming vile places.

GreatFish · 01/12/2025 09:21

My grandson has the same problem. Slightest thing and teachers are screaming at him then automatic detention.He's not allowed to explain himself referred to being cheeky or answering back.A lot of the teachers are disrespectful so when he responds disrespectfully another detention.I know teaching kids is a stressful job but why can't they be spoken and listened to in a calm manner.

Bungle2168 · 01/12/2025 03:13

I suspect the school drills its pupils into the system from year seven, and as your son is a late entrant he is tripping up over the different culture. Most of his peers would have got this out of the way earlier in their school career.

As others have said, try, for the sake of your son, to put a positive spin on his predicament and engage with the school to help him slot in and yet not be demoralized.

Moving schools can be difficult, but for your son’s sake it would be best not to dwell on the negatives. Try to see it as an opportunity for improvement.

SevenYellowHammers · 01/12/2025 02:06

ByCyanMoose · 29/11/2025 05:11

It amazes me that the staff at these kinds of schools expect to get any respect at all, given that they are basically in an abusive relationship with their students.

Show quote history

Please remember that teachers and support staff are bullied by HTT in many schools.

SevenYellowHammers · 01/12/2025 01:28

Snakebite61 · 30/11/2025 13:37

Surely this is illegal. They're denying him food. It's abuse.

Show quote history

They (HTT or rather some poor teacher who has been forced to do HTT’s dirty work) will say that the child should have got food at break or that they “shouldn’t have misbehaved in the first place.” HTT are quite happy that teachers go without food, drink and loo breaks, so why should they care about kids? Remember, everything is “nonnegotiable” in schools which basically is a bully’s charter. Trust me on this, I have just retired after 25 years in teaching/middle management. Yes, kids (and parents) can drive you potty with the usual punctuality, loo requests, dog ate my homework sort of stuff but a teacher, given a reasonable workload and some autonomy, can deal with that with a short detention or a “word” or contacting home if no improvement. These apps are just annoying and more time consuming than just dealing with low level organisation and behaviour issues as one human being to another. These apps are often developed by ex teachers who couldn’t hack it in the classroom. They are a total waste of money and time. When schools say they are underfunded, it’s because they are wasting all their money on these stupid apps, as well as expensive outside speakers (more people who couldn’t hack it in the classroom) and paying people to redesign logos and pump out publicity on social media. All these apps do is confuse parents, annoy kids and frustrate teachers - remember, they are mainly there for HTT to spy on teachers to see if they’re putting their quota of “sanctions” in and setting homework. It’s called “accountability” but it’s really about not treating teachers as professionals and about belittling parents’ ability to manage their young people’s educational needs. It’s creating a warlike atmosphere between schools and families. And don’t get me started on email misuse! I don’t know what the answer is for parents - you’ll be marked down as PPP (piss poor parenting) if you don’t spend your life reading the updates and “supporting the school” by agreeing your kids have to lose social time, do 60 or 90 minutes after school or sit in isolation for the day. What I do know is that there is currently an abuse of power going on.

JoeyJava · 30/11/2025 21:57

If I recall correctly, we were able to eat during lunchtime detentions. The monitoring teachers would require us to be silent. They'd generally tell us to do homework/revision/reading (presumably a distraction because it was mostly the ADHD kids).

Definitely weren't allowed to eat during lessons - it's what breaks and lunchtime is for. Ditto for the toilet, but this was at the teachers' discretion. Probably had to wait until a pause in teaching and we were set a task. Seems fair IMO.

If you want to be absolutely certain, ask his head of year or someone for total clarity on whether or not they're allowed to eat. I bet there's an opportunity to buy some kind of cold food at their break, or even during those last minutes of lunch. Best wishes 👍

Snakebite61 · 30/11/2025 13:37

RainbowDaffodil · 28/11/2025 21:51

My son has started at a new secondary school. Firstly, I have no issue with detentions and I welcome interventions… but surely all lunchtime is madness?

He was late for example yesterday (bus, traffic -perfect storm. He’s usually very early), punctuality detention is lunchtime 1.25 to 2.05. Lunchtime is 1.25 to 2.15 but the canteen isn’t functioning for the last five min of lunch, which is when he’d get there.

The intervention he’s given in two subjects is the same time two lunchtimes a week. 1.25 to 2.05. I got him to say to the teachers he wanted to go, but he needs to eat. They shrugged and said he’s down for interventions and has to go. No solution or dialogue.

The school day is full, 8.15-3.15. 15 min break at 11:20. Some days they also have expectations for after school work too.

Is this in anyway remotely normal nowadays? My son is a robust kinda kid, friends and confident, but he’s starting to look run down. I get this as I’d be run down! He used to eat me out of house and home but lately he’s going 8-4 without food a few days a week, even with a packed lunch it’s been eaten after school. It’s partly getting time and partly the access to toilets not been there, they seem to manage it restricting drink and food.

He works hard, likes teachers but from my view it’s a punitive system of constant directed time, little access to food or toilets and a behaviour point system where getting one positive point in six weeks is a feat but sitting on a pen and snapping it can land you in detention for not being properly equipped (silly mistake, put his biro in a pocket and sat down). Another behaviour point was for being slow with work-I helped him to understand it at home, he was just stuck and didn’t get a new concept. No negative points are for rudeness/ disruption or any active actions but it’s so easy to get them it feels.

Communication is on the app and all one way. Recently I noticed he had some unauthorised absences so I emailed to ask if he was truanting or it was an error. No reply, but they disappeared on the app. I contacted them too at the start, he wasn’t given an IT account when he started and all the homework is online. He asked lots of times and I emailed but it was weeks of detentions for not doing homework while he couldn’t access the system.

It feels nuts!

Surely this is illegal. They're denying him food. It's abuse.

lilkitten · 30/11/2025 12:32

RainbowDaffodil · 30/11/2025 12:26

Happy to explain. I’ve also taught and it’s different to my experiences.
The children all wait out until 8.40, the gate is locked and the doors open at this time. The site is large and an L shape, Yr 11 are at the far point of the L. If you walk the outside route it’s round the building. The office is adjacent to the gate and exiting at the rear of this takes you to the inside door of the L. Basically you can be 2-3 min late and save walking the slower busier route with the crowd round the path on the external side of the L. The office sign in for late is electronic, takes seconds to fill in and sign in. You can, if just late, actually not be the last to form. The electronic register will have the late entry though when you tap in.

other points
-yes has a pencil case, in a rush put pen in pocket. Sat on it. Learnt not to do that but as it’s a one off and his pocket was full of shards when I washed it, it seems believable. Obviously if it was repeated I’d be cynical. It’s as a one off within the scope of things I can recognise happening to me, last week at work a split a glass of water on meeting papers. Stuff as a one off happens.
-log in for homework: I made him ask his teacher daily and report back. I sent two messages on the app, one to his head of year and one to the main admin email to support him getting a log in. No emails or messages were responded other that ‘we have passed your message to the IT department. I believe we made a fair effort to be proactive.

I think that’s enough detail, presumptions can be made always- but I believe I’ve been factual fair and I have no urge really to be getting involved beyond what I need to- as I said, he’s the middle of 5.

Whilst I am a teacher as you said, I know every item individually can be picked apart and explained. The overall view to me though seems unbalanced when viewed as a whole experience. It’s having to find an explanation or presumption for a lot of things, his overall state. It’s also having to presume the school, despite being in a fairly affluent pocket locally, is unlucky year on year with a lower achieving and naughtier cohort that impacts their results and suspensions in the local context. I’d also have to presume they are unfairly targeted compared to other local schools by residents on social media who comment on them more than on other schools.

I think overall he’s settled well. Has instant friends, sees them at weekends. Joined a sports club they go to. Homework I’ve seen has good comments, the mocks informally reported are good- waiting for formal reporting but had a few verbally back ranging from a grade 5 to 7. Lessons and individual teachers sound very good, he’s come home and commented on them regularly. I’m not panicking he’s not able to settle, I’m just saying it feels like unnecessary and stressful layers of angst for a kid with a good attitude. Why make things grim? I’m a firm believer in holistic education of the whole child as a teacher. It’s not about one incident, stuff happens, but there’s a lack of care in punitive systems, with postive behaviour points being dis-used, and not being interested in if children can eat on numerous occasions.
I picked him up for the orthodontist one day and saw the ‘level 3’ detention emptying- it was a substantial number I saw (not including him, he’s never had that level)

Show quote history

At our previous school, where they only did 60 or 90 min after school detentions, I would pick him up and no lie that there must have been 100 kids coming out of detention. The reasons they would give for detention just seemed all wrong - he was given two detentions one day (both 60 mins), they were for walking in a corridor to and from the SEN department, which he was encouraged to use for help (he has autism) and had a learning passport, but they would punish him for going. He's now in eotas thankfully, my faith in schools has all gone. My DDs school seems to have very few kids in detention but a much better behaviour level, so clearly punishing hundreds of kids at the previous school isn't actually resolving anything.

Original poster

RainbowDaffodil · 30/11/2025 12:26

ProudCat · 30/11/2025 11:53

Sorry, but this doesn't fit with my experience as a teacher.

If they're late at 8.40, that must mean the other children have already arrived on time. You then go on to say that both the children who are late and the children who arrive on time get to their tutor / form room together. Really?

Here's the way it actually works from several years of experience:
Kids start coming in at 8.25 for registration.
Registration bell goes at 8.30.
Kids who are late have to go through the attendance office otherwise their arrival won't be registered. This is a safeguarding issue. Everyone, including the parents, needs to know where the kids are - i.e. who is and isn't in the building.

You say the above system is 'tiring' and seem to be suggesting that a better procedure would be to keep the gate open and let anyone wander in completely unmonitored (because those teachers who've been on duty before school starts will now be inside actually teaching), don't bother with getting the lates to enter through attendance so they get registered, instead trust they'll go straight to their form rooms and not mill about with no one knowing they're on site, alternatively, those who do arrive in form can be registered by their tutor repeatedly logging on to the system, updating the register, saving and sending - which is really disruptive.

It sounds as if your DS is struggling joining a new school when most students have been there for the past four years. There's bound to be missing bits of information. You mention sending several emails and messages. Perhaps arranging a meeting with his HoY could iron things out. Teachers can find it difficult to respond when we're already under so much pressure and working stupidly long hours. As a teacher yourself, you'll know this.

However, there is a sense in your posts that you don't really like the policies of the school. It all seems reasonable:
He sat down and broke his pen in his pocket (not 'My pen exploded, Miss') - where is his pencil case? Is the expectation children will use pencil cases?
He didn't do his homework - because he couldn't log on, but did he try to sort this out before or after it was due?
He was late - but that wasn't his fault.
He needs to use his mobile to check in - even if it is against the school rules.

All of the above cause disruption to other learners, and the mobile is a safeguarding issue.

Show quote history

Happy to explain. I’ve also taught and it’s different to my experiences.
The children all wait out until 8.40, the gate is locked and the doors open at this time. The site is large and an L shape, Yr 11 are at the far point of the L. If you walk the outside route it’s round the building. The office is adjacent to the gate and exiting at the rear of this takes you to the inside door of the L. Basically you can be 2-3 min late and save walking the slower busier route with the crowd round the path on the external side of the L. The office sign in for late is electronic, takes seconds to fill in and sign in. You can, if just late, actually not be the last to form. The electronic register will have the late entry though when you tap in.

other points
-yes has a pencil case, in a rush put pen in pocket. Sat on it. Learnt not to do that but as it’s a one off and his pocket was full of shards when I washed it, it seems believable. Obviously if it was repeated I’d be cynical. It’s as a one off within the scope of things I can recognise happening to me, last week at work a split a glass of water on meeting papers. Stuff as a one off happens.
-log in for homework: I made him ask his teacher daily and report back. I sent two messages on the app, one to his head of year and one to the main admin email to support him getting a log in. No emails or messages were responded other that ‘we have passed your message to the IT department. I believe we made a fair effort to be proactive.

I think that’s enough detail, presumptions can be made always- but I believe I’ve been factual fair and I have no urge really to be getting involved beyond what I need to- as I said, he’s the middle of 5.

Whilst I am a teacher as you said, I know every item individually can be picked apart and explained. The overall view to me though seems unbalanced when viewed as a whole experience. It’s having to find an explanation or presumption for a lot of things, his overall state. It’s also having to presume the school, despite being in a fairly affluent pocket locally, is unlucky year on year with a lower achieving and naughtier cohort that impacts their results and suspensions in the local context. I’d also have to presume they are unfairly targeted compared to other local schools by residents on social media who comment on them more than on other schools.

I think overall he’s settled well. Has instant friends, sees them at weekends. Joined a sports club they go to. Homework I’ve seen has good comments, the mocks informally reported are good- waiting for formal reporting but had a few verbally back ranging from a grade 5 to 7. Lessons and individual teachers sound very good, he’s come home and commented on them regularly. I’m not panicking he’s not able to settle, I’m just saying it feels like unnecessary and stressful layers of angst for a kid with a good attitude. Why make things grim? I’m a firm believer in holistic education of the whole child as a teacher. It’s not about one incident, stuff happens, but there’s a lack of care in punitive systems, with postive behaviour points being dis-used, and not being interested in if children can eat on numerous occasions.
I picked him up for the orthodontist one day and saw the ‘level 3’ detention emptying- it was a substantial number I saw (not including him, he’s never had that level)

OP posts:

ProudCat · 30/11/2025 11:53

RainbowDaffodil · 30/11/2025 11:10

I think for ‘bad behaviour’ is quite a key point.
I’d certainly support sanctions for bad behaviour/ negative attitude.
It seems mad when detention each lunchtime (all lunch) could be used as a way of easily identifying who gets which bus. TfL service gets disrupted and you literally get 30-40 kids together. If it was late and missing lessons, catch up learning I see the sense too. I’m talking gate locked at 8.40, child waved to go round to the office by the person closing the gate level of lateness. Physically arriving in a form room at roughly the same time and being simply noted by the office on the late list. It’s just
a bit tiring. I’ve gone from being a teacher / parent who’s always been massively supportive of school to that parent without the energy for it all too. I guess I’m as disaffected. I know if I had the same level of punishments at work I’d be in the same position as an adult as he is, however much I tried to not ever be 1 min late/ break a pen etc

Sorry, but this doesn't fit with my experience as a teacher.

If they're late at 8.40, that must mean the other children have already arrived on time. You then go on to say that both the children who are late and the children who arrive on time get to their tutor / form room together. Really?

Here's the way it actually works from several years of experience:
Kids start coming in at 8.25 for registration.
Registration bell goes at 8.30.
Kids who are late have to go through the attendance office otherwise their arrival won't be registered. This is a safeguarding issue. Everyone, including the parents, needs to know where the kids are - i.e. who is and isn't in the building.

You say the above system is 'tiring' and seem to be suggesting that a better procedure would be to keep the gate open and let anyone wander in completely unmonitored (because those teachers who've been on duty before school starts will now be inside actually teaching), don't bother with getting the lates to enter through attendance so they get registered, instead trust they'll go straight to their form rooms and not mill about with no one knowing they're on site, alternatively, those who do arrive in form can be registered by their tutor repeatedly logging on to the system, updating the register, saving and sending - which is really disruptive.

It sounds as if your DS is struggling joining a new school when most students have been there for the past four years. There's bound to be missing bits of information. You mention sending several emails and messages. Perhaps arranging a meeting with his HoY could iron things out. Teachers can find it difficult to respond when we're already under so much pressure and working stupidly long hours. As a teacher yourself, you'll know this.

However, there is a sense in your posts that you don't really like the policies of the school. It all seems reasonable:
He sat down and broke his pen in his pocket (not 'My pen exploded, Miss') - where is his pencil case? Is the expectation children will use pencil cases?
He didn't do his homework - because he couldn't log on, but did he try to sort this out before or after it was due?
He was late - but that wasn't his fault.
He needs to use his mobile to check in - even if it is against the school rules.

All of the above cause disruption to other learners, and the mobile is a safeguarding issue.

Original poster

RainbowDaffodil · 30/11/2025 11:10

I think for ‘bad behaviour’ is quite a key point.
I’d certainly support sanctions for bad behaviour/ negative attitude.
It seems mad when detention each lunchtime (all lunch) could be used as a way of easily identifying who gets which bus. TfL service gets disrupted and you literally get 30-40 kids together. If it was late and missing lessons, catch up learning I see the sense too. I’m talking gate locked at 8.40, child waved to go round to the office by the person closing the gate level of lateness. Physically arriving in a form room at roughly the same time and being simply noted by the office on the late list. It’s just
a bit tiring. I’ve gone from being a teacher / parent who’s always been massively supportive of school to that parent without the energy for it all too. I guess I’m as disaffected. I know if I had the same level of punishments at work I’d be in the same position as an adult as he is, however much I tried to not ever be 1 min late/ break a pen etc

OP posts:

LlynTegid · 30/11/2025 11:00

Eating lunch separate from other children yes, not having it unreasonable.

I expect that a contributor to the unreasonable policy has been other parents who believe that their child should never have any sanction/punishment and should be exempt. I am sure we can all think of examples.

Focus on any complaint to the school being about not being able to have lunch.

lilkitten · 30/11/2025 11:00

Chinsupmeloves · 29/11/2025 21:42

As a parent and teacher I've found the whole new academy system very unfair. In the old days we would reluctantly give a lunch time detention as it was immediate, for 15 mins within an hour so they had plenty of time to eat and go to the loo.

As teachers we had to do these ourselves in our classrooms so also ate into our lunchtime, excuse the pun!

Lunchtimes are awful in new built academies, especially those with half hour break, though many do rotated times. So many students crammed into queues, scoff, no time for fresh air, play a game of footie, queue for the toilets etc.

I do genuinely feel for those who haven't had chance for a toilet trip (yes in some cases it's because they've been doing their make up and chatting) so I let them go, one at a time, after a wait a bit please. You can tell when it's genuine. For us it's so hard when you haven't had chance to go, choice of eat and have a drink or toilet! Trying to cram it all in when in duty is a fine tooth movement lol 😆

I think the toilet rules are okay at my DDs new secondary, she has very heavy periods and I'm hoping they let them go if they need to. DSs previous school didn't let them go at all and locked them (overall it seemed a very punitive place). I still remember how bad I felt in Year 7, when a teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet and I had an accident in the classroom.

lilkitten · 30/11/2025 10:56

Our current secondary does lunch detentions. DS had one or two when he was there, but he could take food in with him and they even offered him a biscuit - for them lunchtime detentions are a first offence type sanction, to have a chat and stop bad behaviour. His previous secondary only did after school for 60 or 90 mins, which was much worse as it would be dark and empty if he walked home so I had to pick him up and leave work early.
I would speak to them about not eating, surely any punishment they give shouldn't be impacting their health.

converseandjeans · 30/11/2025 10:20

Chinsupmeloves · 29/11/2025 21:42

As a parent and teacher I've found the whole new academy system very unfair. In the old days we would reluctantly give a lunch time detention as it was immediate, for 15 mins within an hour so they had plenty of time to eat and go to the loo.

As teachers we had to do these ourselves in our classrooms so also ate into our lunchtime, excuse the pun!

Lunchtimes are awful in new built academies, especially those with half hour break, though many do rotated times. So many students crammed into queues, scoff, no time for fresh air, play a game of footie, queue for the toilets etc.

I do genuinely feel for those who haven't had chance for a toilet trip (yes in some cases it's because they've been doing their make up and chatting) so I let them go, one at a time, after a wait a bit please. You can tell when it's genuine. For us it's so hard when you haven't had chance to go, choice of eat and have a drink or toilet! Trying to cram it all in when in duty is a fine tooth movement lol 😆

@Chinsupmeloves I also allow students to use the toilet. There’s a few repeat offenders who I now say no to as it’s every lesson & likely they are just trying to get out of the lesson.

Also if I keep a student back I will do 5-10 mins max as we only have 35 mins lunch & it’s not possible to eat & use loo in 20 mins. Queue for lunch is extremely long.

It sounds like a horrible atmosphere for your DS.

Okiedokie123 · 30/11/2025 00:12

That sounds awful. :(
One easy fix for the future. Make sure he’s got spare pens in his bag. It’s always handy to have spares.
Hoping you can help him resolve all the other issues. It sounds grim.