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Original poster

to be fed up of hearing 'I've worked hard for my money'

945 replies

newbluesofa · 28/11/2025 15:41

Lots of chat on MN recently about taxes on high earners. So heard lots of 'we have this money because we work bloody hard for it' and honestly I'm sick of it and think the people who say it are selfish.

Nurses work incredibly hard, long shifts, difficult job. Carers provide absolutely essential service, again shift work, difficult hours, difficult job. Teachers provide essential work, I know multiple teachers and they all devote evenings, weekends, school holidays to the detriment of their own families. All of these jobs also have huge emotional tolls. So 'I've worked hard for my money' means nothing to me, because a lot of people work a lot harder for a lot less.

OP posts:
cupfinalchaos · 30/11/2025 17:10

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:18

Because living like that is such a great life? Those people are messed up. No one enjoys living like that.

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Whether it’s a great life or not, dh and I don’t enjoy paying for them!

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 17:02

Lovehascomeandgone · 30/11/2025 16:55

I do, I lack a negative 'I can't do' mindset.

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I agree. But I'd caveat it only for those who are physically and mentally healthy.

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 17:01

Lovehascomeandgone · 30/11/2025 16:55

I do, I lack a negative 'I can't do' mindset.

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Good for you.

SleeplessInWherever · 30/11/2025 16:58

Lovehascomeandgone · 30/11/2025 16:55

I do, I lack a negative 'I can't do' mindset.

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That’s because you “can do.” If you couldn’t, mindset wouldn’t help you.

Lovehascomeandgone · 30/11/2025 16:55

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:31

I think that anyone insensitive enough to write something like 'trying is always an option' lacks something, to be honest

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I do, I lack a negative 'I can't do' mindset.

SleeplessInWherever · 30/11/2025 16:48

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 16:22

I'm sorry about your son. I meant in the same way we say that Sunak is privileged to be born into a family that has already done well. The House of Commons says 25% of the UK population is disabled. Does that mean the remaining 75% is privileged?

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I will try and say this without the inevitable disability rant.

Yes.

Able people are by nature privileged in comparison to disabled people, because they’re not disadvantaged by disability.

Your children, for example, were likely communicative by the time they were 9. Our son, isn’t. That is quite obviously a barrier.

Not having that barrier makes you, in comparison, privileged.

Original poster
newbluesofa · 30/11/2025 16:44

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:34

@newbluesofa PS I admire you for this thread. Sadly a lot of people just don't have emotional intelligence or the ability to put themselves in another's shoes, and they never will.

The issue I have with MN is I always start off trying to genuinely engage with people and have a good faith discussion. People act as if they're incredibly knowledgeable on something so I will counter with points I've really thought about. But then the more it goes on the more I realise it's the Dunning–Kruger effect in action. And if I'd know that's the place they were coming from I would've approached the whole conversation differently.

OP posts:
ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:37

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 13:45

Sunak wasn't poor at all. But he did work hard. Yes he went to a good school,but he then got into Oxford. Worked in finance. Stanford MBA. Before returning to a career in finance. He then left that to serve his country.

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It's easy to work hard in those circumstances

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:34

@newbluesofa PS I admire you for this thread. Sadly a lot of people just don't have emotional intelligence or the ability to put themselves in another's shoes, and they never will.

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:32

newbluesofa · 30/11/2025 16:13

...did you just ask if it's a privilege to not be disabled?

I was wasting my time this whole thread talking to you, yikes

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I think a lot of people don't get that there are lots of different types of privilege - they think it means having a pony growing up or something.

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:31

Lovehascomeandgone · 30/11/2025 16:29

Like I said, some are disadvantaged. You shouldn’t assume that others don’t have experience with being too ill to work or what that feels like just because we don’t share all.

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I think that anyone insensitive enough to write something like 'trying is always an option' lacks something, to be honest

Lovehascomeandgone · 30/11/2025 16:29

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 15:52

Trying isn't an option if you're too ill to work. Just getting through the day can be harder 'work' than any corporate job. When you've been through this you see things differently.

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Like I said, some are disadvantaged. You shouldn’t assume that others don’t have experience with being too ill to work or what that feels like just because we don’t share all.

Original poster
newbluesofa · 30/11/2025 16:27

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 16:22

I'm sorry about your son. I meant in the same way we say that Sunak is privileged to be born into a family that has already done well. The House of Commons says 25% of the UK population is disabled. Does that mean the remaining 75% is privileged?

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Yes

OP posts:
Original poster
newbluesofa · 30/11/2025 16:26

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:18

Because living like that is such a great life? Those people are messed up. No one enjoys living like that.

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Agree, it's a big complex issue. A family member used to work with people not in work, education, or training - before the funding for the project got cut of course! He saw how it's a culture thing, there are so many obstacles in the way and decades of cuts to youth services, education, the push towards degrees rather than technical training and apprenticeships, it all adds up to people struggling to overcome the barriers into work that many people face. We fix that by funding these kinds of things again and investing in giving people what they need to get into work.

It helps absolutely no one to just have the nasty attitude of 'oh those lazy poor people just want to live off my tax money'

OP posts:
PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 16:22

SleeplessInWherever · 30/11/2025 16:10

Surely, yes?

My son is disabled, and it’s definitely not a privilege.

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I'm sorry about your son. I meant in the same way we say that Sunak is privileged to be born into a family that has already done well. The House of Commons says 25% of the UK population is disabled. Does that mean the remaining 75% is privileged?

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:20

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 12:31

I know a woman from a working class background. She works long hours to provide for herself and her family. Unfortunately her kids aren't all like her. One of them didn't even do GCSEs and just dropped out of school at 16 and has never worked (not because she can't. She just doesn't want to).

And with her now grandkids, the parents are looking for them to leave school at 16, find some physical job somewhere and have no ambition to actually improve their situation.

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You know I was thinking that if a dog stops running for a ball or wanting to do anything, we don't say 'LAZY DOG!' We recognise there is something wrong with the dog, because dogs need and are built to run after balls. No human is happy bored and not achieving anything. More is going on.

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:18

Lemondrizzle4A · 30/11/2025 12:10

I work as a teacher in a deprived area and to be honest I’m more upset by seeing parents who have never worked, live off benefits and driving around in a brand new top of the range cars and parents who have extremely large families and by that I mean 10 or more and live off the state. As a society we cannot continue to support those who choose not to work because they get more when on benefits.

Because living like that is such a great life? Those people are messed up. No one enjoys living like that.

Original poster
newbluesofa · 30/11/2025 16:13

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 16:06

Yes I understand if people are chronically ill/disabled. But then does it mean you're privileged to not be disabled?

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...did you just ask if it's a privilege to not be disabled?

I was wasting my time this whole thread talking to you, yikes

OP posts:
pocklechip · 30/11/2025 16:12

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 16:06

Yes I understand if people are chronically ill/disabled. But then does it mean you're privileged to not be disabled?

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Of course we are. Just as a we know being white or male comes with privilege in this kind of context. I’m a high earner but I recognise my privilege, would I be where I am today if I wasn’t healthy, or if my children weren’t? I doubt it.

SleeplessInWherever · 30/11/2025 16:10

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 16:06

Yes I understand if people are chronically ill/disabled. But then does it mean you're privileged to not be disabled?

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Surely, yes?

My son is disabled, and it’s definitely not a privilege.

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 16:10

UserFront242 · 30/11/2025 16:01

Absolutely.
If you have an illness/disability then it makes no sense to push yourself and make yourself more ill. There is nothing wrong with a low paid job if that is all you can manage. We need people to do them.
It is not always about "not trying hard enough".

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Yup. Working too hard made me ill! (compounded with child trauma of course - low self esteem the cause of working too hard)

Blueyrocks · 30/11/2025 16:08

@ForHazelTiger totally agree. Trying equally hard won't get us to the same place, because we're all starting from different places. I feel really lucky for so much about my life - I have a lovely DH and kids, and we have enough money - but I don't think I had much chance of being a high earner.

I'm not saying many high earners don't work hard or haven't worked hard. All I'm saying is that hard work (and good choices, and big sacrifices) aren't enough for some of us - we can do all of that, and still only earn small salaries.

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 16:06

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 15:55

There will have been a reason you could do that though. Sometimes abuse and illness mean a person just can't ever do that no matter how much they try. It's never just down to hard work.

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Yes I understand if people are chronically ill/disabled. But then does it mean you're privileged to not be disabled?

UserFront242 · 30/11/2025 16:01

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 15:52

Trying isn't an option if you're too ill to work. Just getting through the day can be harder 'work' than any corporate job. When you've been through this you see things differently.

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Absolutely.
If you have an illness/disability then it makes no sense to push yourself and make yourself more ill. There is nothing wrong with a low paid job if that is all you can manage. We need people to do them.
It is not always about "not trying hard enough".

ForHazelTiger · 30/11/2025 15:55

PrawnsForDinner · 30/11/2025 14:20

My husband worked very hard to get to where he is. We both had absolutely nothing growing up and now he earns a very good wage. He works incredibly hard to provide for the family.

And no we aren't happy to be taxed even more.

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There will have been a reason you could do that though. Sometimes abuse and illness mean a person just can't ever do that no matter how much they try. It's never just down to hard work.

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