to be fed up of hearing 'I've worked hard for my money'

Sure, but maybe they shouldn't go on about how you can make your own opportunities, work hard to get a better job if you want more money, etc., if they haven't had to actually do any of that stuff themselves.

@PeonyPatch my point is just to agree with you! With a (pretty waffly - sorry) example of someone who's a 'high earner' but who isn't actually a beneficiary of the inequality in UK atm. It is the super wealthy we need to look at. I just totally agree with you. Me & my friend are both millennials, yes. No idea how I'm personally affected by the budget tbh!

It’s very unusual for there to be 2 high earners in a couple with children though. For the very reason that the high earner works so bloody much, they have no capacity at home so the (usually) woman has to pick up the slack.
I completely understand where these women come from.

I'm an ethnic minority. I'm not a victim. If you actually look at educational outcomes (GCSEs), incomes and wealth Asian Indians come out on top.

What is your point here though?

Also, can I ask your ages?

I’ve been reading a lot about how the recent budget has hit millennials harder and I do wonder if more resentment comes from this generation… and if so, I’d say it’s warranted to be honest. That’s my opinion.

That is something I notice a lot on these types of threads. The more vocal women are the ones that are not actually the high earners. Their money comes from their DH.
I recall one poster who was particularly vitriolic about any low earners and people on benefits. She was on £22k, but her DH earnt loads.

@PrawnsForDinner sounds like you worked brutally hard. Big sacrifices. You made such a good choice to better yourself by marrying him. Amazing foresight, too, since he wasn't even a high earner then. But he could have gotten a brain injury a week after your wedding, and then all that bringing up and nurturing of your children would have gotten you a much lower rate of pay.

A social contract has been well and truly broken. It now doesn’t feel worth going to work when our disposable income has been eroded so much, and the resources / services available to us are so poor.

I work full-time… getting an NHS doctor’s appointment is a nightmare. I get sent a text message after submitting an e-consult and it’s booked for 3 weeks time bang smack in the middle of a work day. I am on a waiting list for specialist treatment and apparently it’s a 15-25 week wait for an appointment.

Most of my DH and I wages go on housing, bills - council tax, inflated food and energy prices. We purposely try not to turn our heating on so we can save money. Trains to work are expensive, late, cancelled. Parking everywhere is costly too. We now only run one car. We have a couple of subscriptions for entertainment and a gym membership. I am constantly selling stuff on Vinted to try and make a bit more.

Meanwhile, others get a lot for free and do not have the same worries as us and likely more sense of security as well.

We both have to pay for life / health insurance in case one of us gets ill or dies. Just many things to think and worry about. You wonder why are we being so sensible? Our cost of living increased and disposable income has been eroded - it’s demoralising.

You talk as though you are doomed if you come from a poor background. whilst most people would argue there are more obstacles, no one is doomed. I’m surrounded by people from all walks of life in my role.

additionally - your OP started from the position of nurses and teachers which all went to university and therefore I suggest could have gotten those higher paid jobs if they’d wanted to.

Your argument seems to have strayed from 1. people don’t deserve higher pay and haven’t worked harder than everyone else to 2. personal attacks to anyone at all thats has bettered themselves (including nurses and teachers because they are privileged to get an education).

Frankly your posts read as though you’d like everyone else to get on their knees and apologise for their privilege (achievement).

What did you want from this post?!

Wait wait wait... so after all this pontificating, you're not even a "high earner" (how I have come to loathe that phrase)?

@PeonyPatch I don't disagree with that, and do understand the resentment of some people who are pretty high earners. A friend of mine is a SAHM, partly because her DH had to move around a lot to get his role as an NHS consultant. So they have one pretty big salary to support their family. After tax, it gives them a really nice life, but not a huge amount more than me and my DH joint income. And her DH definitely does work hard, and is really clever and all that - and he doesn't resent paying a lot in tax, probably because he sees where it's needed every day in his workplace - but I can see that his salary, in isolation, doesn't actually give a fair reflection of their finances, and that his earnings vs say, mine, really aren't where the big inequalities in Britain actually are at all.

I raised all our beautiful DC and nurtured them. Our marriage is a partnership. He wasn't a high earner when we met.

If I got paid the same mucking out stables, I’d be there in a heartbeat. The lack of stress would be bliss.

I get the impression you have no idea what office life is like.

I think the issue is the able / working / high earners etc are getting fleeced SO much and supporting everyone when it’s time we looked at the super wealthy instead!!!

The Deserving Poor, you mean

Because you can’t bring yourself to type not believing in something that is so widely understood and studied? Because you know how stupid you’d look.

Am I answerable to you? Don’t think so……

Also, @PrawnsForDinner , I just have to ask - you've made very clear that you married a high earner, and that what's his is yours. Did you work hard to catch him? Do you feel you work hard for that joint money? What form does that labour take?

Read between the lines if you can.

@pocklechip I don't think I understand your response to what I said. All your other posts seem to be agreeing that it's not all about hard work, but in response to mine you said something about comparing like with like and I shouldn't deny that some people work hard and earn well for it? I wasn't 'projecting' when I described my background - just using it as an example where very hard work got us low wage jobs (which we feel lucky to have).

And I think part of what @newbluesofa is saying is that there is an implied criticism when high earners say they worked hard for their money, because it implies proportionality - it's often said to explain/ justify/ rationalise high earning, which carries the implication that lower earning can be comparably explained. I don't feel personally criticised at all, but I do dislike the implication of proportionality between 'hard work' (and/ or choice, and/ or sacrifices) and pay, when so many other factors have such a big part to play in how much someone earns.