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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say my Dyson is a Cunt?

138 replies

RanchRat · 28/11/2025 14:11

in a year I have only been able to use it a handful of times. It stops working after a couple of minutes and I have to pull a piece of fluff out of its arse before it will go again. I have never been able to do more than half a rug before it needs emptying and the fucking clips that are supposed to be so easy to open are actually very stiff and I have to lie the dirty bastard on my clean sofa to get them open. I have spent more time watching You Tube videos on how to coax the little fucker to work than I have vacuuming. You have to wash the filter, no, you have to replace the filter, no, you have to tweeze a couple of hairs out of its backside. I bought it because it was light and I am old and struggled with my heavy hoover. The worst £500 I have ever spent and could ill afford.

OP posts:
tripleginandtonic · 30/11/2025 08:15

camerontucker · 30/11/2025 05:20

I have a Shark and a Henry. Have to use the Henry to clean the Shark. I have a love hate relationship with Henry, I admire his sooking power but hate him with a passion as I'm dragging him around the house and he's tipping over and catching on doorways. Does my head in.

You need to treat him with more respect, my Henry's a little lamb willingly following me everywhere.

tripleginandtonic · 30/11/2025 08:13

Go for Henry, he's always smiling and reliable.

TiredCatLady · 30/11/2025 06:17

Bought a cordless one a couple of years ago and it was a complete pain in the arse (battery lasting minutes, constantly clogged) until it died entirely days after the warranty expired (only 2 years on the cordless ones which is fucking pathetic given how much they cost).

DP took great pleasure in taking it outside and smashing it to bits. He hated that thing with a passion.

Dyson can sod off - they used to be good products but are now just overpriced, underperforming tat.

Bought a robot vac instead - I love it - and a handheld builders DustBuster type vac for the stairs. Much easier.

MeAndTheDoggo · 30/11/2025 05:27

Definitely not unreasonable. I gad one once. Worst vac I ever had. I’ve not got a corded vax and it’s the best I’ve ever owned

camerontucker · 30/11/2025 05:20

I have a Shark and a Henry. Have to use the Henry to clean the Shark. I have a love hate relationship with Henry, I admire his sooking power but hate him with a passion as I'm dragging him around the house and he's tipping over and catching on doorways. Does my head in.

ColdHenrietta · 30/11/2025 04:27

My cordless Vax has never behaved in such a fashion. It is admittedly small and relatively light and I try not to give it heavy work or long hours.

(In a previous house, spread over many floors, with beams and stone walls and log piles and dogs that all conspired to deposit dust on the carpets we, and our cleaner, delighted in a huge and heavy workhorse of a Vax. My only regret is that we didn’t keep one on each floor.)

HelpMeGetThrough · 30/11/2025 03:51

“That was a pile of crap, it would suck something up, then spit it out again on a different bit of carpet. I gave it back to her!”

My Dyson did this, would suck up a piece of gravel in the hallway and decide the house would be cleaner if it put the gravel in the dining room for you.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 29/11/2025 17:47

I have a Miele which I adore. It would suck the rug up completely on its highest setting. Brilliant thing. Can't be doing with bagless as I have a dust allergy, and shaking it all out into the bin sets me off!

A friend gave me a cordless Vax (her Mum didn't like it). That was a pile of crap, it would suck something up, then spit it out again on a different bit of carpet. I gave it back to her!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/11/2025 17:31

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 28/11/2025 15:44

Unfortunately, James Dyson is far better at marketing than he is at designing vacuum cleaners and every other device he produces. IMO, Dyson are a load of expensive crap

Ain't that the truth Hmm
I've only ever used other people's on home exchanges, but honestly can't fathom what people see in something that looks like a jukebox and doesn't work - unless having spent £££££ they feel they've got to insist how good the thing is??

BlakeCarrington · 29/11/2025 17:25

NewAgeNewMe · 29/11/2025 15:31

I beg to differ Dexter never did it for me but oh my Jeff…. Too good for that Fallon!

Definitely agree about that Fallon but Jeff was too clean cut for me. But Dex Dexter definitely shivered me timbers back in the day (although he did look like he needed a good wash!)….which brings us nicely back to cleaning.

Sorry for the derail.

gannett · 29/11/2025 17:09

Every time I use my Dyson I get visions of exactly how I will die - tripped up by its wires or felled by one of the 15 gazillion things I knock over while trying to wrangle it.

I can't fault its cleaning ability, sadly.

PatThePenguin · 29/11/2025 17:05

HopSpringsEternal · 29/11/2025 08:37

I regularly call mine a cunt. It used to be amazing now it rarely does anything. It doesnt seem to pick anything up. Ive checked and checked and no blocks.

Oooh you might need new filters.

I got a pack from Amazon and now it's like new again!

Only £10.97 for the lot and I popped my old ones in the washing machine, so I can rotate.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07RGPLQ8G?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_2&th=1

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.co.uk

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07RGPLQ8G?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_2&th=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-am-i-being-unreasonable-5451587-aibu-to-say-my-dyson-is-a-cunt

Mumteedum · 29/11/2025 15:43

Nothing to add that helps but well done on a classic Mumsnet thread title 😁👌🏻

hollytheheroic · 29/11/2025 15:34

Oh utter shite. I swear ours blew out air rather than sucking. Biggest waste of money ever.

NewAgeNewMe · 29/11/2025 15:31

BlakeCarrington · 29/11/2025 14:33

I have just one thing to say to you @NewAgeNewMe:

DEX DEXTER!! Mmmmmmmm.

Anyway, back to hoovering….

I beg to differ Dexter never did it for me but oh my Jeff…. Too good for that Fallon!

BlakeCarrington · 29/11/2025 14:52

JudgeJ · 29/11/2025 14:42

Oh, sorry dear, is one not allowed to hold a contrary opinion?

That’s alright sweet-cheeks, be my guest.

JudgeJ · 29/11/2025 14:42

BlakeCarrington · 29/11/2025 12:57

Blimey, check out all the Dyson devotees who’ve suddenly rocked up the morning after! 😬

Oh, sorry dear, is one not allowed to hold a contrary opinion?

JudgeJ · 29/11/2025 14:40

BigYellowLegoHead · 28/11/2025 14:16

Yep, they’re useless!!! Get a shark, much much better and still relatively light to use. They have a 5 year warranty and I’ve just had a free motor sent out to replace mine which had gone a bit faulty. Products and customer services with shark are amazing.

My Dyson must be about 12 years old, when I had a problem with the roller unit I phoned them to ask about costs and was told 'Lucky you, your 5 years warranty runs out in 3 days!', sent me a replacement, no problem. Personally I like it and it has a good capacity.

BlakeCarrington · 29/11/2025 14:33

I have just one thing to say to you @NewAgeNewMe:

DEX DEXTER!! Mmmmmmmm.

Anyway, back to hoovering….

catin8oot5 · 29/11/2025 13:19

I miss my old Dyson. My stupid Shark is a cloggy fucker

NewAgeNewMe · 29/11/2025 13:12

BlakeCarrington · 29/11/2025 13:04

For the avoidance on doubt, I’m definitely not Dyson. I’m Blake Carrington and vacuuming happens to other people.

Such great memories
Krystal v Alexis.
the gorgeous John James. I could go on.

MrsArcher23 · 29/11/2025 13:08

Dyson vacuums are awful, we’ve now got a Miele cat and dog and it’s amazing despite the abuse it gets. (We also had a Shark, it was fine but didn’t last)
I’ve a Dyson hairdryer, overpriced but I love it.
I don’t have a cordless vacuum but I’m in the market for one. It won’t be a Dyson.

PuppyMonkey · 29/11/2025 13:06

I’ve had a few shitty Dysons over the years but I have to say I am utterly in love with my cordless V11. You have to occasionally remove bits of debris that are blocking things but in all honesty, I quite like doing that. Am I weird? Blush

BlakeCarrington · 29/11/2025 13:04

For the avoidance on doubt, I’m definitely not Dyson. I’m Blake Carrington and vacuuming happens to other people.

RanchRat · 29/11/2025 13:03

Didntask · 29/11/2025 12:59

Which one do you have? They're not all equal, but anything from the V11 onwards are pretty great.

Mine is a cunty Dyson Detect Absolute V15 Cordless Vacuum Cleaner with extra cuntyness.

OP posts: