AIBU to not get the table grabbing behaviour at a cafe?

A cafe I go to asks your table number when you order. If I'm there on my own I have to leave something on the table and hope that other people realise that it's occupied

But the cafe can only operate smoothly with people sitting down to eat. If you look in a cafe window and see a big queue and only one or two tables free, the two systems look like this:

1. Table first: There's a big queue but I know two tables are free, I can claim one and know that I'll have somewhere to sit and so does everyone else in the queue has got one too.
2. Food first: There's an unknown quantity of tables needed. Some of those people might be getting a second coffee for an existing table, six of them could be bunched together on that big table or there might be people getting take out. If I join the queue I might have to bumble around like a wet lettuce whilst my potato goes cold.

It is in fact much clearer and convenient for people to be able to see whether tables are being used than leave them in limbo.

If you like manners so much, surely you acknowledge that manners are designed to leave people comfortable and cared for?

BTW I also eat in places like this by myself. I'm fine about that too. I queue up by myself and generally by the time I have my order, there's a spot.
Also I LOVE restaurants where you can book a single spot and sit up at the bar watching the chefs/bartenders.

I am disabled and cannot stand for long so my husband always sends me to sit down while he orders, it would be hugely inconvenient not to mention painful if I had to stand in a queue and then stand for even longer til a table becomes free.

Yeah, all the groups of people (with hanging kids and elderly people) will just stand in the queue, not.

Of COURSE you're being unreasonable. Otherwise there will be fifty bazillion people in the queue, bumping into everyone while they wait.
Have you never been to a pub?

That does t answer my question though. What do you do when you get your food and there isn’t a table to sit at? Wait until it’s cold? Eat standing up? I don’t understand it at all. It’s just bizarre to me. Everyone has gone to eat and sit. If there isn’t a spare table then the cafe is full. 🤷‍♀️

Well that's obviously a totally different situation.

This is what I do when by myself. At some cafes there high side bar places - good for one or two but not more and it doesn't matter if others are there just need chair.

When it 's a group which can be up to 7 of us of course we look for a table first - larger the group less likely to find a table big enough - and if there's not one to get then we go elsewhere.

I don't go around making a habit of it, but they'd get a sharp response if they continued to push it. I'm not averse to standing my ground at all.

Missing the point of the thread but the bigger issue for me is cafes who don't tell you if it's table or counter service. Is it really so difficult to have a sign up, or say so on the menus?

Do you always swear at people in cafes, you did say you would tell people to fuck off

Well, you could ask that of groups or couples in cafes - why should the person in the queue have priority over someone who's looking for a table?

Singles are constantly told they're selfish for taking up a whole table - but if a couple has one half in the queue, they're equally selfish (but in a different way).

That's exactly what I do. Swearing would be reserved for those who really push their luck. Like the creepy bloke who wanted to sit with me in a corner when there were actually plenty of other empty tables.

Same here. It was only when I joined MN that I realised anyone even got annoyed about this. It has always seemed completely normal behaviour to me for one person to get a table while the other orders food. And it still does.

If I am on my own, I go somewhere with table service, get a takeaway or go somewhere with plenty of free tables.

It's an interesting question, tbh. Nobody is sitting there. Why should someone who's not sitting there take priority over someone who's ready now because their coat is there?

I'm happy to be a keyboard warrior who practices what I preach when necessary.

Well I'm just glad to hear that you wouldn't actually swear aggressively at someone just for asking. If all you do actually do is say "sorry, it's taken" (obviously), then that doesn't necessitate posturing about not giving a shit and not being a wet blanket. It's just...normal.

Feel free to use my "the seats taken we're waiting for our order and hes just gone to the toilet" line 👍

And I've tried to do that a few times, but found people moving my coat, or just sitting at the table anyway. They're rude, but they seem to think they're entitled to do that. One woman just laughed at my when I said I had put my stuff there and was sitting there.

So I don't do it any more. I don't enjoy dealing with bad-mannered people.

I have done, Aren't you behind your keyboard with your fuck offs too, you keyboard warrior.

Of course you would! 🤣🤣 Easy to say when you are just being a keyboard/phone warrior. 🤣🤣

Don't believe you.

Go to wetherspoons. Sit down and order on the app!

It’s basic good manners! How can four people sit hogging a table when they have no food yet while others who have their food stand around looking for one?

I maintain that it is bad manners to claim a table before you are ready to eat

I would definitely plonk down at your table then.

Well, in our local coffee shop most are two person tables, so I'd be waiting for DH at one of them and would tell the person asking that the space was taken. In fact, I'd usually have put something onto the other seat anyway.

DH would be paying and joining me in a couple of minutes so it would be ridiculous to let someone else sit there, and I am not that much of a wet blanket.

To be honest, I couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks of this. I'll just carry on.