I'll preface this by saying I am neither the husband or wife in this scenario.
So, mum and dad with 2 young kids. Every year, the wife has insisted that they must wake up, do breakfast, do presents, then go to the wife's parents house for the rest of the day. They leave at around 10.30am and are at the parents house until late - 11pm/midnight.
Husband has asked year on year that they do Christmas as just a 4 so that the kids can enjoy their presents and they can all just relax in the house. Wife refuses. Husband has asked can they spend majority of the day in their own house then go and see the in-laws later in the evening. Wife refuses. Husband has asked can we host the in-laws instead so that the kids can still be in their own house with their new gifts. Wife refuses. They must go to her parents and she will not compromise.
The in-laws don't drink so it's always a subdued affair, and husband has to drive so he doesn't get to drink either. Not that that's what Christmas is all about but he's said it would be nice to just have one year where he can eat rubbish, have a few drinks, and relax.
Once the kids got past the magical santa stage, husband started volunteering to work Christmas day and so hasn't participated ever since. There is obviously a lot of resentment on both sides now.
My personal opinion is that Christmas is all about the kids and its unfair to drag them away from their new toys and presents every year to spend time doing something that their parents want to do. I do believe seeing family is important but the wife could have compromised a bit and done some alternating years. (Although I also think husband also could have grown a pair and put his foot down).
Is the husband being unreasonable with this?