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Partner won’t change Trust

212 replies

LindsayAnn97 · 28/11/2025 09:26

Hello am I being unreasonable to want my partner to change his trust for our son and myself?
For context we have been living together for 5 years and have a 2 year old together. We live in his property and he rents another couple out. All in his name. I was working full time and contributing but since my maternity leave ended I went back to uni which I am currently still doing. I don’t have access to free childcare as my partner earns over the threshold and we don’t have family close by. I am not on the deeds to his property and he does not want to get married. Currently his trust is to benefit his “family” but our son and myself are not mentioned. He has no life insurance either. I find this quite irresponsible as it’s one thing to not look after myself if he passed away unexpectedly but it’s another not to look after our son. It’s the principle of it that bothers me I want to protect his inheritance. Is there anyone that has experience a similar issue? Any advice would be great!

OP posts:
LindsayAnn97 · 28/11/2025 10:27

That’s my main concern, it’s not as if he’s in ill health or anything but if he did fall ill or unexpectedly passed I don’t even know how I would pay the mortgages or anything for that matter. He won’t even tell me his salary 🤷🏼‍♀️ I just want peace of mind that I would be able to live in the family home. A friend of mines partner passed away and they didn’t have children but it just puts everything in perspective.

OP posts:
MrsDoubtfire123 · 28/11/2025 10:24

Upsetbetty · 28/11/2025 10:13

Why can’t you take out insurance on his life? You can do that. You know it doesn’t have to be him. You have a child together you live with him. You have insurable interest.

This 😀 take out insurance on him and pay for it yourself. Of course, the life insured must consent to the policy.

MrsDoubtfire123 · 28/11/2025 10:22

FakeGrassPlastic · 28/11/2025 10:05

Buy your own life insurance

A good idea. But , this won't help the OP if her partner dies though... I think that's her concern.

Gall10 · 28/11/2025 10:15

LindsayAnn97 · 28/11/2025 10:01

I love to but my partner isn’t interested.

He’s got you over a barrel…. If he won’t marry you then you’ve got 2 choices….either leave the relationship or put up with it.
People will say leave him… but it’s not always that easy is it?
What does a solicitor say?

Upsetbetty · 28/11/2025 10:13

Why can’t you take out insurance on his life? You can do that. You know it doesn’t have to be him. You have a child together you live with him. You have insurable interest.

toiletpaperthief · 28/11/2025 10:13

And this is the reason why women should not have children without a marriage contract.

SantiagoShaming · 28/11/2025 10:10

Definitely get your own life insurance, first and foremost.

As you’re not married (and family wealth is probably a big factor in why he’s not interested) you need to make sure you’re working at least part time for contributions reasons because he has ZERO obligations to you.

Hopefully he is making arrangements for your child, but he’s not under any obligation to share those plans with you either. It may all be drafted, notarised and filed with a lawyer, you just don’t know.

But please make sure you’re protecting yourself, you have a solid career path from your degree and that you’re not leaving yourself vulnerable.

HamptonPlace · 28/11/2025 10:08

He’s put you in an untenable position. It is entirely unreasonable to refuse to enter into a legal relationship, even if it does not contain the word ‘marriage’ while procreating and cohabiting. Were it to come to it (hopefully not of course) then the circumstances outlined would in any event result in him having financial liabilities to his child (of course), but also, importantly, to you. Having it codified in a document just makes it simpler and reduces the stress, quite apart from it being fair. He won’t just be able to up sticks and financially walk away, legally that is.

FakeGrassPlastic · 28/11/2025 10:05

Buy your own life insurance

Buscobel · 28/11/2025 10:03

OP said he doesn’t want to marry.

You're between a rock and a hard place then. Could you have a frank conversation about how his lack of consideration makes you feel and that he has a son to provide for, even if he chooses to ignore you, which, of course, he shouldn’t.

You’re in a vulnerable position OP and I think you should consider starting to put some savings away, just in case. How much longer do you have at university?

LindsayAnn97 · 28/11/2025 10:01

I love to but my partner isn’t interested.

OP posts:
CheeseIsMyIdol · 28/11/2025 09:50

Have you considered getting married?