Partner won’t change Trust

Op he doesnt like you or your son, hes made it clear by his behaviour. He would see you and your son out on the streets. Leave him.

More than a subordinate I believe he's treating her as a "flatmate with benefits". I'm pretty sure she's cleaning, washing his socks, taking care if HIS child and all the perks that come with having a flatmate doing all this free labour for you.

This all day long.

If he was a good man, even if he didnt want to get married, or put you obviously the mortgage, he would have been talking to you openly and be worried about your financial security, has he shown any concern for your financial security at all?

This man views and treats you as a subordinate, he doesn't see himself as your partner more like your boss. You need a good plan op.

Op, he's telling you what he thinks of your relationship and his son. Listen to him.

You aren’t married so aren’t family however your son is his son Presumably so the will should include him. He’s right his money and business is his own so maybe it’s time you built yours and he pays half of the bills for his son

This, unfortunately.

You have zero leverage. You and he are, legally, no more related than the last stranger you passed on the street.

As pp said, you need to urgently sort out your own affairs on the assumption he won’t ever be sharing assets. He could order you out tomorrow and legally you would have to leave the house.

Do you have parents or other family?

Dentistry is a long time studying. Is he helping you fund you? Are you living rent free etc in which case you are already benefitting

but you need to be able to discuss what would happen in the event of I) death - where will your son live, how would he be provided for and 2) what would happen in the event of separation.

those two might be different end results but both of you should be able to discuss as a partnership and come to agreement

As others has pointed out its not a family home it is his property which you just happen to live in.

He is clearly telling your and showing you that he sees you as someone he has sex without being willing to offer any long term links so a mistress /kept woman rather than wife.

You need to organise your life on the basis that his assets will never be yours nor your childs. I would look at how your money is being used within the household and benchmark it against what would you be paying for if your were a lone parent and renting? I would be looking at where you are making payments which benefit his estate and remove your ability to build up assets

Is he providing financial support to you at the moment for Uni and other living expenses? What is your priposed career path will it provide you with an ability to build up assets?

And dont discount him becomming unwell. If he was to have an accident/ a stroke etc loose capacity and be placed in a care home who is his next-of-kin who would manage his financial assets? Why would you be allowed to live in his property for free if it could be sold or rented to generate income for care fees?

I suggest that you need to work out what you need to do to plan for your future and what you can actually do and see where the gaps are.

Only then can you have that hard discussion on what his plans are and why he thinks he has no obligation to include you in them and no duty as a father to plan for his child.

Who would be the beneficiaries under the term "family"? Surely that would cover your son at the least.

He's not going to answer those questions because he sees himself as a single man, which in effect he is.

If I had £1 for every MNetter who's effectively given their partner a 'marriage' without all the legal protection that comes with it, I'd have more money than he may or may not earn.

You've moved in, you've given him a child, why would he want to risk a legal marriage now?

I'd try and rephrase some of it because at the moment it sounds very money orientated and grabby (rightly or wrongly).

You need to ask how his son will he provided for in the event of his death. Not whether you are beneficiary or next of kin. Not how you access his money or what his salary is. He'll clam up and run for the hills if you start asking about how you get this or that or what's in it for you.

There's a reason he hasn't married you, or made you any form of beneficiary and my guess is it's all down to being his family money.

I'm amazed he won't even offer any guarantees for his child, if not for you.

I would start praying (at this point this is as good as anything else) he lives long enough for you to complete your studies and set yourself up, then leave him. He's obviously not invested in your long term security at all.

You need to get to the bottom of exactly why he doesn’t want you to know anything about the family finances.

So does he have no will at all? Because in that case your son would inherit everything if he died, in trust until he becomes an adult. You would be able to access the estate to pay for your son's living costs.

If he has a will saying otherwise that's a different matter.

Of course his refusal to discuss specifically leaving anything to you doesn't say much for how he sees you.

You're actually in a more vulnerable position in terms of potentially splitting up. That would leave you in a very precarious position as you'll only be entitled to child support.

It's not your property OP if you aren't on the deeds and you aren't married. You literally have no claim to it at all.

I'm sorry OP but this man is not your partner. You are just someone he is letting live in his house and he does not care about you.
If he did, he would either marry you, or put legal arrangements in place to create a life together with you as a family with shared assets and interests.

Just out of interest was your child with him planned, was this something he actively wanted?

If he dies his son will have a claim on his estate, I would think. You would surely be his son’s guardian, so be able to use the assets allocated to his son to pay for accommodation. But it will never be a home you own, at best your son would own it.

Instead of telling him what you want, ask him what his plans are should there be a tragedy. What provision has he made for his child? He may have a plan. It may be a plan you don’t like.
Alternatively, he may have given it insufficient thought and this will kick him up the bum.

Also, investigate what CMS you could expect if you left. Bear in mind, if he goes for 50/50 there won’t be much if any.

Ask him what he thinks yours and his child's life would be like if he met with a tragic accident.

If he is dead set on not marrying or putting you on the Deeds of your home insist he takes care of your child's security by taking out life insurance that names you and makes a will that names his child. Tell him he could leave the house to his Dc but give you a life interest - maybe until the Dc is 21, so that you stay in the house?

As soon as you are back earning save save save to create your own security.

I hope he is paying for childcare??

I think you should assume if he died that you wouldn't be able to stay in that house. Is the trust for wider family? Who are the beneficiaries?

I hope the university course you are doing will provide good career prospects as you need to get a job and put money aside for your own independence. He needs to share childcare costs. You should not pay any mortgage on the properties you don't own.

Unfortunately you’re in a position where you won’t have any rights to stay in the family home. Even if your DC inherits the money, your partner might have it tied up until they’re an adult.

Do you have financial means of your own at all or are you fully supported by him at the moment? How long is left on your degree? Do you have any additional things to do to establish your career once you graduate (professional qualifications /licenses/ traineeships etc.) or will you be able to go right into a graduate job?

You wouldn't pay the mortgage if he died, its that simple. It's his house, it would go to his next of kin or whoever he has on his will/trust for them to decide what to do with.

If he isn't prepared to marry the mother of his child or make sure his child is provided for in the event of his death, are you sure you want to be with that kind of man? He could get bored with you and kick you out and you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

You're not married and you live in his property, your financial situation is precarious. He could kick you out of the property any time.

If he doesn't want to marry, you need your own financial security. You need to be working and saving for a deposit on your own home. Don't rely on him as he's obviously not bothered about making sure you and your son are financially secure.