Partner won’t change Trust

I would leave him. I could not continue to be in a relationship with someone who thought so little of me.

He's utterly selfish.

A relative and her partner intended to marry - they'd been together for about 20 years and had a child.

When the child was about 9, the partner died unexpectedly. He'd not got round to making a will and the relative was left in a world of excrement - he'd divorced many years previously and his ex went after the house and his pension.

It was sorted out in court, but it took a while and caused a great deal of stress. The relative was able to prove that only she had paid for the house and the pension was awarded to her child as her partner's only dependent.

I did once ask why he'd not made a will: "We didn't expect anything to happen."

As others have said - best option is take advantage of living in his home and him covering most of the expenses to get your degree and set yourself up for the future. With or without this bloke in it.

This.

You will need saving as at any time he can ask you to leave his house - so you'd need a plan for that as well. I don't think he see you as his partner so I doubt he'd answer any of your questions.

Claim the child benefit and he will have to pay it back through tax returns. You need it for your own NI credit.

Does your DC have your name at all @LindsayAnn97 ? I hope so.

Does he support his DC on a day to day basis, contribute to their needs?

At the very least he should definitely make provisions for his DC.

Do you contribute to the household expenses?

He doesn't and shouldn't have to put you on the deeds.
Scout through threads on MN and you'll see a good few where women are told, in no uncertain terms not to add their man unless they marry.

If he decides you need to leave, you’re fucked, never mind if he dies. You’ve allowed yourself to get into an incredibly precarious situation and are extremely vulnerable.

I can’t believe any trust just has “family” as the beneficiaries. Any decent lawyer would not allow that. Has your partner got other children. At the moment you and your child are completely exposed. You need to clarify what the exact position is for the trust and if you are not satisfied that you will have some protection then you know how he feels about you. Do you have family that can support you during your studies?

It certainly is. Why do people sleepwalk into this situation? It's only really "just a piece of paper" as these men so often quote if both parties come into a relationship with roughly equal assets, or there are various legal setups (more easily achieved by marriage anyway).

As others have said - best option is take advantage of living in his home and him covering most of the expenses to get your degree and set yourself up for the future. With or without this bloke in it.

If he dies and you are not on the property deeds, you won’t be required to pay them. However, the executor of his estate/will would then be able to formally evict you. Unless your son is explicitly excluded I believe he is entitled to a share of your DP’s estate by law (an expert will be along to correct me) but you might have to tae them to court to get it.

Does he have other children and are they named beneficiaries? Will he not consider giving you and lifetime interest in the main property so that you have a home until you die and it then reverts to any children he has? Including DS?

I think you need to consider building up a career and nest egg of your own - putting DC into nursery if you have to, paid for by bank of DP, and start planning to either move out and get on the property ladder yourself, or getting a BTL property that you operate on the side and is protected from yourself and your son. I’d definitely see legal advice on your position.

Afraid your DP doesn’t sound like a kind and caring man…

He benefits from a trust, knows the rules and uses the fact that your are uninformed to fob you off? Once you mentioned getting married, if he was honourable and loving he would have had a conversation with you on how to protect your and your shared DC's interests. 100% intentional if he didn't and your current position is wholly dependent on him continuing to allow you to live in his house.

Exactly this

What beggars belief is that it's not as if these potential issues aren't well known, and STILL women take the risk - and not just for themselves but the children too

This. The Trust is the least of it. He's not a partner and gets all the benefits of a 'wife' and child without having to share anything. He's selfish and gives no shits about you and your DC's security, only about himself and what's his. You were unwise to have a DC with a man like that and extremely optimistic to expect him to change at this point when he's got what he wanted anyway and has no need or motivation to give you anything. Definitely don't contribute any more to his property and use the money to provide for yourself and your son when you're inevitably going to need it because this guy is not going to be your safety net.

This. I think the most important thing now is to concentrate on your studies so you can ultimately have a good, full time career and provide for yourself. In the meantime he does equal childcare, housework etc. Once you're qualified then he continues to do equal childcare and you save save save for your own property that you buy for yourself. He is not your friend in this situation - if something happens to him or if the relationship breaks down you will have nothing and no right to stay in your home. Not a sausage.

Doesn’t seem like he sees you as a partner or values his own child as his son. I wouldn’t stay in a relationship like this. You’re convenient but only on his terms.

No, OP’s son would not inherit everything if there is no will. The existing family trust will be outside the scope of OP’s partner’s estate - any residual will go to son (assuming there to be other children he may have or any undivorced wife in the background!)

I don’t have access to free childcare as my partner earns over the threshold and we don’t have family close by.

I noticed this from your OP. Surely he pays for childcare as you're not working. Or at least pays his share. You don't pay childcare alone do you?

I have a life policy that I pay for my ex…if he dies I am the beneficiary. I am the policy holder…

She pays the premium, he dies and she gets the payout yes

Even if you can she pays the premiums and what? Hopes he dies and it pays off?

You “just want peace of mind?” You will never have that with this (so called) partner. He doesn’t give a shit about you or his child. No one who did would watch his lover go through pregnancy, labour, childbirth snd two years of the child’s life and not be willing to marry you to create security.

No of course not, you can take out insurance on someone you have insurance interest in. They need to give permission but yes of course you can.

OP - you decided to have a child in your current set-up, so hoping he'll have a change of mind on marrying you is unrealistic.
Before you speak to him - I'd speak to a lawyer to understand what your child's right are regarding the "family" trust and your partner's property.
After you know the facts - I'd have a conversation about his responsibility for child's wellbeing.

But mostly - I'd focus on your studies and qualifications. I'd make sure partner does his share of child-care and not relies solely on you, so you can dedicate time to your studies. I'd put away as much money as I could when I started working, so save for the future. And I'd not have any more kids with him, unless he decided to actually commit to the relationship.

I

In your circumstances I would find my own accommodation, your UNI should help with this, claim everything I was entitled to, subsidised childcare the lot and be a single parent. In 3 or 4 years time, you will be a qualified dentist and will not have trouble finding employment. Your son will be older, your life will be easier.
Your alternative is playing mum and housekeeper and bedwarmer for a man who doesn’t care about you and your son enough to make sure you would be ok in the event of his death. This will still be your circumstances in 3 or 4 years time if you don’t take control of your own life and make changes that will benefit you and your child.

You're not married, you live in his house, you have a child together, and he won't even tell you how much he earns?! Why on earth are you even with this guy??

Hasn’t that been illegal since Victorian times?