Husband asking I stop bringing in 3 yo into bed for this reason

I love it too!!!

always wish boyfriend would do this!

but it’s actually the OP that wakes up herself for it!

It’s the only acceptable reason bar a fire to be woken up in the middles of the night or early hours. The after sex nap hits different

And how does that nap go when the baby wakes up at 5am?

Love this 🤣🤣

Co sleeping at 3 is fine. When my son was 3 and wandering in anytime between midnight and 6 am we bought a bigger bed. I never really did sleep training beyond starting him off in his own bed. I slept well with DS there and got more sleep if we just snuggled. He gradually started to sleep through. It wont be forever.

It’s the only acceptable reason bar a fire to be woken up in the middles of the night or early hours. The after sex nap hits different.

Am I the only one here who loves being woken up for sex in the middle of the night?

it’s great, I’ve had a little nap, get work for a cuddle and back off to sleep. What’s not to like 🤣🤣

also, I have 4 kids 11 and under. One severely disabled - it’s the only time we get to do something for just us.

I think it’s ‘icky’ To use your 3yo has an excuse not to sleep with your husband.
if you don’t want to have sex that’s fine, but don’t blame it on your child

That's unfair and not at all what the OP is saying.
She is saying it feels uncomfortable to prioritise her husband's desire for sex on tap over her 3 year old child's emotional wellbeing. And I agree with her. Fortunately I have a husband who also prioritises our children's emotional wellbeing over coming home to a wife in an empty bed with the kids out of the way. Of course children need to learn to sleep in their own beds. But it needn't be made rushed or stressful by impatient fathers.

This.

(I have nothing against co-sleeping though).

How long has he been sleeping in your bed?

I never really had much problem with the children wanting to come in our bed.
They rarely woke up, nor wandered in. Maybe once a fortnight or so - or if they were ill. It was just never an issue if they did. Fortunately had a 6ft bed so space wasn't an issue either. But even if they did it every night I can't imagine dh bringing up the issue of it preventing him instigating sex at will. Ugh. Some people might think baby in bed once a fortnight is too often, who knows?
3 is still such a baby. They need you.

So I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. The baby snuggles don't last forever so make the most of them. Of course he's right that the child eventually needs to get used to sleeping in their own bed. But you can't rush the process just so he can get his end away.

Well I agree with this

I think it’s ‘icky’ To use your 3yo has an excuse not to sleep with your husband.
if you don’t want to have sex that’s fine, but don’t blame it on your child.

And a nasty one lol!

« Yes, I will try to see how we can have him back in his bed…in the midtime, should we start shower snuggles? » or anything else you fancy…don’t give him the feeling you choose your son over him by giving an alternative or being open on his ideas…don’t loose your little one snuggles which I am sure you will not have forever!

Does hubby have another place to sleep in case it is not just for sex?

This has to be a joke

Children should never be in their parents bed. You should have coaxed your ds back to bed, eventually he will get the message. You are encouraging him, it will become musical beds where your husband will just sleep elsewhere. You are making problems when there's no need

Why can’t your husband not just sleep on the sofa or the floor when he gets home from work? Then it would be guaranteed that he wouldn’t be disturbing you or your child

Tell DH he’s welcome to move DC when he gets in and get DC resettled in his own bed - but that’ll be his job to do and not yours.

Start of a bad path for you and your husband.
Yes, child should sleep in their own room.

100% this.

Lates is a bit of a different schedule to nights, if he is like mine on a late shift he comes home at midnight, most the time I'm still up but sometimes I've already gone to bed so we just miss each other.

When he used to work nights he came home at 4am, I much prefer the lates as we get up at the same time!

Some of the posts on here are very uncomfortable reading tbh.

My DH is not perfect, can be a bit lazy, definitely would like more sex than he gets (if he could have it every night he would, before anyone accuses me of not meeting his needs) but there is no way he’d leave me because a toddler wanted to sleep with me and he wasn’t getting his leg over no way.

Someone coming home from nights should ideally sleep in a separate bed anway - will be on a completely different sleep schedule.

That's a bit of a leap isn't it?

I find it weird that people will talk about what a 3 year old needs to learn and talk about normal development as 'regression' but there's absolutely no onus on the husband as a grown man to make any allowances for said 3 year old and in fact talk about him as of he's a separate supreme being of the family.