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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner and my dog

90 replies

Craftydafty1 · 27/11/2025 20:13

My dog is big and liles to jump up when excited. My partber brought a parcel that had been delivered to the house.

My dog grabbed her toy and jumped at him and hit him right in his "privates" he let out a "ouch" then hit my dog with parcel.

He said it was an instant reaction to being hurt. I said it was an accident.

The parcel has a light rubber tube in it so was v.light.

He said aibu as it was a reaction and she needs trained and he doesnt appreciate being hurt. He then patted her and said sorry.

Aibu or is he?

Is this animal abuse?

Ta x

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 28/11/2025 17:12

Sorry, hitting anyone in response to being hurt is abusive. It doesn't matter that what he had in his hand was light, its his response that matters.

As for 'he touched it' - the OP said he HIT the dog. If she had said he hit her in response to her say, falling over and clouting him in the process, would you minimise that to 'touched her lightly'... would you fuck.

Yes, you need to train your dog - he needs to be involved in that, dogs need consistency and if one person is encouraging jumping or rewarding it when it happens and the other is teaching the dog not to jump, you end up with a dog who jumps at the one person and not the other. Proofing a dog to not jump even if someone is encouraging it is really really difficult and requires a lot of management and consistency in the early training.

snoopythebeagle · 28/11/2025 17:11

ohyesido · 28/11/2025 17:06

Yes! How can anyone justify hurting any animal in retaliation?

Show quote history

Well, dog wasn’t hurt - OP said the parcel was light as anything.

And it’s often instinct to lash out when you’re in extreme pain - if a dog leapt at me and headbutted me I would shove them off or put my knee into their chest to keep myself safe.

ohyesido · 28/11/2025 17:06

snoopythebeagle · 28/11/2025 17:05

Even when it causes you immense pain?

Show quote history

Yes! How can anyone justify hurting any animal in retaliation?

snoopythebeagle · 28/11/2025 17:05

ohyesido · 28/11/2025 16:43

Never acceptable to hit a dog, untrained or not!

Even when it causes you immense pain?

dynamiccactus · 28/11/2025 16:48

Will people stop comparing dogs and children?

They are NOT the same!

In any event, a child has never rushed up to me and bitten me somewhere sensitive.

And giving an animal a tap with a very light object is hardly abuse anyway. The comments on here!

Anyway, you are both at fault. You have a dog which you haven't trained adequately, and he doesn't like them - so it's hardly a match made in heaven, is it? Find someone who likes dogs (and potentially will train yours).

ohyesido · 28/11/2025 16:43

Never acceptable to hit a dog, untrained or not!

ginasevern · 28/11/2025 16:17

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon "Ah rubbish ! he is making excuses now for his bad behaviour ! so what happens if you have a son with him, and son comes running to meet him and in his excitement runs directly into him and by accident head butts him in his balls, is he going to punch the child in his face
as he cannot regulate his emotions control his anger"

I agree. Do yourself a favour OP and keep the dog, get rid of the bloke. Much more loving and faithful in the long run anyway.

OnARainyDay2012 · 28/11/2025 16:03

It's never OK for your dog to jump up. Especially for a large dog. You've put your dog in this position by failing to train them in appropriate behaviour. If this happened in public, your dog could be considered dangerously out of control. And I say this as a fellow large dog owner (golden retriever and German shepherd) so it's not that I dislike dogs in any way!

HappyToSmile · 28/11/2025 15:48

Abuse? No.
Train your dog Not to jump up. Being excited isn't an excuse.

moderate · 28/11/2025 15:45

Train your dog.

SiberFox · 28/11/2025 15:26

This is human abuse FFS. You need to train your dog before it hurts someone again

snoopythebeagle · 28/11/2025 15:12

NameChange0101010101 · 28/11/2025 15:06

Was going to say this.

Dogs do not tolerate shit from other dogs. It probably barely registered with the dog.

I love dogs but if people haven't trained/ won't discipline their animal and it's in danger of hurting me, I will shout /growl at it to let it know I won't be tolerating that crap.

If people get offended tough, train your dog or don't bring it out in public.

Show quote history

Yep. I have very little patience for people who know their dogs are badly behaved and do nothing about it.

NameChange0101010101 · 28/11/2025 15:06

Balloonhearts · 28/11/2025 14:17

He swatted at her with a light parcel, it's hardly abuse. If anyone hurt my dog I would hurt them right back but a light swat to reprimand her for playing too rough is not hurting her. God you should see how dogs chastise each other for this sort of thing. You need to train her, it's doing her no favours to let her be impolite.

Was going to say this.

Dogs do not tolerate shit from other dogs. It probably barely registered with the dog.

I love dogs but if people haven't trained/ won't discipline their animal and it's in danger of hurting me, I will shout /growl at it to let it know I won't be tolerating that crap.

If people get offended tough, train your dog or don't bring it out in public.

snoopythebeagle · 28/11/2025 14:57

Craftydafty1 · 28/11/2025 14:55

Partner has been jumped on by dog many times nevet hit in his privates. He really had to curl forward in pain. He is always telling her to come up on the couch for cuddles.this has been the only thing.

So your dog clearly hurt him very badly and you don’t actually seem to care.

Original poster
Craftydafty1 · 28/11/2025 14:55

Partner has been jumped on by dog many times nevet hit in his privates. He really had to curl forward in pain. He is always telling her to come up on the couch for cuddles.this has been the only thing.

OP posts:
snoopythebeagle · 28/11/2025 14:55

Megifer · 28/11/2025 14:42

Id be very, very worried about a man hitting a dog out of "instinct".

Worth keeping a watch on your dog for it getting nervy around your partner.

Are you not also worried about a badly trained, large dog causing pain and injury to people?

Megifer · 28/11/2025 14:42

Id be very, very worried about a man hitting a dog out of "instinct".

Worth keeping a watch on your dog for it getting nervy around your partner.

Nocameltoeleggingsplease · 28/11/2025 14:40

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 27/11/2025 21:11

'He said it was an instant reaction to being hurt.'

Do not have children with this man, he is unable / unwilling to cotrol his reactions / behaviour.

Do not ever leave your dog home alone with him.

Did you have your dog before you met your partner

does he live with you / do you live with him.

Ridiculous

missmollygreen · 28/11/2025 14:19

WilfredsPies · 27/11/2025 20:21

He’s an arse for not learning how to control his reactions. Would he have reacted the same if it had been a toddler?

You’re an arse for not training your dog properly. If you can’t be bothered to train it, you aren’t up to the responsibility of having a dog.

The only one not an arse is the dog!

I bet you would react if someone punched you in the face?
Or do you have such great control?

noidea69 · 28/11/2025 14:18

Yeah its not really the thing you see on the RSPCA adverts is it.

Balloonhearts · 28/11/2025 14:17

He swatted at her with a light parcel, it's hardly abuse. If anyone hurt my dog I would hurt them right back but a light swat to reprimand her for playing too rough is not hurting her. God you should see how dogs chastise each other for this sort of thing. You need to train her, it's doing her no favours to let her be impolite.

Missj25 · 28/11/2025 14:13

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 28/11/2025 11:47

Ah rubbish ! he is making excuses now for his bad behaviour !

so

what happens if you have a son with him, and son comes running to meet him and in his excitement runs directly into him and by accident head butts him in his balls, is he going to punch the child in his face
as he cannot regulate his emotions control his anger

what happens if he is feeding a daughter in her highchair and she is happily kicking her legs, she drops her spoon he goes to pick it up and he gets kicked in the face, will he slap her legs because he got hurt and likes to use violence when hurt.

You sound absolutely ridiculous
I hope you know that !

RedPony1 · 28/11/2025 14:03

SwanRivers · 28/11/2025 13:04

Is this animal abuse?

No, but not training your dog is animal neglect.

This
Why don't people train their dogs?!!

snoopythebeagle · 28/11/2025 13:05

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 28/11/2025 13:02

then hit my dog with parcel.
He said it was an instant reaction to being hurt.

and he will do the same to a child...

Why are you making things up?

SwanRivers · 28/11/2025 13:04

Is this animal abuse?

No, but not training your dog is animal neglect.

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