To challenge autistic DD’s detention?

She can't be rude to the teacher, she gets the detention or she will never learn. Don't make such a huge fuss about it.

Wow, how to show a lack of understanding about autism. Depending upon the severity - this would very often be an understandable reason someone would reply in this way.

Why would someone not being able to walk upstairs being rude? how on earth are they the same thing? so when the 14 year old gets older and gets a job and it rude to a people in the workplace it will be an accetable excuse?

Please don’t what?

No, I definitely wouldn’t let my DS do a detention in those circumstances. My DS is also autistic and he always answers a question honestly. If he was given a detention for something like that, he would definitely spiral into depression and it would seriously affect his confidence. As it is, he won’t ever offer an opinion unless directly asked as he has learnt to be wary of being tricked like this by teachers and fellow students.

You need to ask the teacher “what is the point of the Detention?”

In this case the teacher seems to be punishing the child for something that is directly related to his disability.

Presumably the teacher wouldn’t punish a child who uses a wheelchair for refusing to take part in a cross country race?

I have an autistic son, personally I wouldn’t challenge it. Whatever the intention the impact of what she said was rude. It’s not a nice thing to say and it’s ok to learn that.

Could you be more ignorant? of course a social communication disorder is an excuse for having a social communication misunderstanding.

Does the teacher even know she's autistic? I wouldn't assume that just because it's written down somewhere that her teachers all know. DS's teachers often seemed unaware when we said at parents evening that he was autistic/dyspraxic.

DS was always very honest, one of his teachers at primary school would always ask him what happened if there was an incident because she knew he'd always tell the truth.

I think it's worth talking to your dd about white lies and rhetorical questions, she'll probably still find it difficult to judge but at least she'll hopefully be more aware.

I would get her to do the detention for not paying attention in the first place - but I'd also talk to her about whether she is struggling with filtering out distractions and staying attentive. DS really benefitted from sitting at the front of the class right in front the teacher as he struggled to filter out distractions so worth considering.

It is when the diagnosis is literally a social communication disorder.
thats like saying being in a wheelchair isn't an excuse not to be able to walk up the stairs.

A 14 year old was rude the diagnosis is not an excuse

Even if they had a conversation about those types of responses being rude, doesn't mean she'd be able to recognise that the response she gave was the "rude" type. She was literally asked a question and answered it, it can be basically impossible to guess what someone else might think or feel as an autistic person so if she herself wouldn't be offended or find it rude, it's understandable that she didn't understand that the teacher would find it rude.

The teacher made a flippant comment to an autistic child. And was surprised they received a literal response. They were then embarrassed because it caused the rest of the class to laugh. The teacher should know better about clear communication.

The fault was not OP's daughters response to poor communication..

OP's daughter should be pulled up for not paying attention/ listening. That should have been done at the time. But the teacher messed it up with poor delivery.

I wouldn't challenge it.

i would use it as a teaching moment. It's odd that autistic or not, that she's got to 14 and you haven't had a conversation about that kind of response being inappropriate, and rude.

(both my 16 & 19yo's are autistic)

Agree. Punishment without explanation (and a week after the event?) will not have the desired impact given OP's daughters neurodiversity.

This isn't about letting a rude child off without punishment as some posters are harping on about - this is about clear communication (the teacher should do this, regardless of pupils SEN needs. It is best practice!) and also ensuring that OP's daughter actually understands the issue/ what is an appropriate response and importantly pays attention in class. Consequences need to be clear, fair, and immediate. This does not meet those thresholds and will have a counterproductive result.

This. I think even if the detention stands it might be worth putting her comments into context and looping in the SENCO. The teacher needs to be clearer with their communication and not being flippant.

Jesus. She's 14

I thought she was 8. My misread

Keep out of it, OP. Honestly she should know at 14. The detention might help her learn

She could be working in 4 years. Are you going to email the CEO to complain? 🙄

@FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren

"She was rude, it's that simple so why are you making excuses for her"

the teacher asked a question, the child answered, why is that rude?

Because the answer didn't massage the teacher's ego?

I used to get in trouble for things like this at school all the time. I wasn't trying to be rude or argumentative and never understood why I was in trouble. I ended up being really badly behaved at school because I just sort of assumed that's what I was because I was in trouble without trying all the time anyway and it's a role that felt easy to do as an autistic teenager.
I think YANBU because she wasn't trying to be rude she was answering a question she was asked.

She was rude, it's that simple so why are you making excuses for her? If you attempt to get the detention revoked you're basically saying it's ok for her to be rude because she's autistic. You're also undermining the teacher so how is your daughter going to respect them in the future?
She does the detention and learns not to be rude.

@2021x

"but a lunch time detention isn't going to hurt" isn't it the principle though?

This teacher needs to reflect if @ThisFairShark advocates for her daughter?

Sadly, zero replies from @ThisFairShark thus far 😞

Has the teacher considered being less boring?

This isn't true actually. We work with someone on the spectrum who does not handle anyone disagreeing with him.

Its awful, everyone tries to get away from him all the time, the workplace hasn't managed well they have just pushed the managment on to the co-workers.

No, it’s a respect thing

Please don't

If it makes your daughter feel any better, I mistook a very similar rhetorical question from my maths teacher during A level studies at 16 years of age. I didn't get a detention but was suprised and ashamed to see that my teacher was upset by my honest answer that I didn't enjoy her maths lessons, and it made me realise that she was a person with feelings as well as a teacher. I later made up for it by getting the top score out of the school on my A level exam though :-)