To challenge autistic DD’s detention?

I said something similar in sixth form college but I'm NT, I was just a bit sick of the teacher. I also said to a boss, "I'm not paid enough to do this" and yes, I can confirm he didn't receive it well, pretty much gave me a detention actually - had to work late on said project to prove myself and that it was a one off!

OP, let her do the detention but do email school to let them know that she wasn't being deliberately rude due to .......... Although it's probably really hard not to, the teacher shouldn't be using sarcasm in class.
At the end of the day, is this your hill to die on? You're going to have many more issues like this. You can't argue every single one of them, as much as you want to stick up for your DD.
My own DS was like this. ASD diagnosed aged 5. Always getting detentions etc. As he got older, at high school, it got worse, he found his voice and answered back. Only got him into more trouble. Looking back it was surprising he wasn't expelled, so I do think they took his diagnosis into account, even if they didn't on a daily basis, if that makes sense.

I had to writing an essay about a (hole) boring machine (for cannons) while I was at school. I wrote in the essay that it was a very boring machine, and then forgot to get rid of it before I submitted it! 😬 Thankfully I escaped a detention for that particular infraction.

I wouldn’t allow detention . You wouldn’t put a physically disabled children in detention for being slow or tripping so why would hold a child be punished for not being able to understand sarcasm .

Would she have accepted it if the teacher was also honest “that is incredibly rude and annoying behaviour”? I’m

Give over OP. Stop giving her get out of jail cards. Good lesson to learn in school as it will become harder in the big wide world.

I wouldn't ask for her to be excused from the detention, but I would explain what you've written in your op to the school so they can understand your daughter better.

This 💯 Let her go to detention. She will learn to handle future situations. Email the teacher to explain where DD is in terms of her ASD and let it take it’s course.

Autism is literally a disability. You can't punish someone into not having a disability.
if course they are different thing but I was just using that as an example to explain that for some autistic people, being able to magically pick up on social queues is as realistic as expecting someone unable to walk to magically walk just by being told how.

YANBU to be annoyed with this, however I’d probably let her do the detention as not to cause a big fuss, but see if DD is comfortable in emailing the teacher to explain why she responded that way.

I think the teacher needs to learn that if you ask a literal question to person with Autism then expect a literal question.

It is very clear that a lot of people have no idea what autism is and how autistic people react to certain situations. She was not rude, she was just honest.

I think my response would depend on how your child will handle it. If a detention is going to significantly impact her, I would challenge it. If she’ll take it in her stride and it’s more the principle of the thing I would let it lie.

My AuDHD DS has had numerous detentions for forgetting things which is 100% a consequence of his ADHD side, and he just accepts them as minor inconvenience.

You're on a hiding to nothing here OP, MN loves to see a child punished.

I agree with your sentiment - I do think this was an unfair judgement, especially as her SEN is known. However, I'd base what to do completely on her reaction. If you are confident that she understands what happened and you can explain to her that this is just one of those things that she'll have to attend but that she's not done anything terribly wrong then she can do the detention and it'll be a learning point.

If, however, she can't process it in a reasonable way I'd speak to the SENCO. The punishment should fit the crime, and if it's going to cause her significant distress then it's not proportional or appropriate

You dont know that a 14 year ikd is fully capable. You know yours and your brothers presentation of autism meant you could learn those skills.

Some autistic people are not able. Some are non verbal and have 24/7 care.

The ops child may or may not be capable.

The teacher had it coming. She set up an autistic child to fail with a ridiculous, facetious question. This is not teaching.

I’m a teacher and I have some lovely autistic students who would respond exactly like this, because they are answering the question directly. I know I cannot use sarcasm with them and have to be very direct: ‘I need you to pay attention’. I wouldn’t have given the detention.

because you're masking to fit in @BernardButlersBra?

YABU

You daughter sounds to me as though she might be High Functioning . I think she knew exactly what she was saying and was being the 'class clown' . This is done so they are able to be one of the 'crowd' and is used to ingratiate themselves with the rest of the class. In light of this the Secondary teacher, should have a little bit of 'nous' about Neurodiverse children trying to make their time in Secondary a bit easier. Therefore, the teacher should have responded with a riposte saying something like its a 'Privilege' to be bored and you need to have a Degree to be bored by my lessons !

The teacher caused this by asking a question that your DD replied to honestly. DD wasn't being rude, just answering the question.

I wouldn't challenge the detention but I think I'd want to communicate with the school that, due to DD's neuro diversity, she didn't mean to be rude.

Autism is not a get out of jail free card for a lack of manners.

Both my brother and i are also autistic (Audhd actually, like both my teenagers), but manage not to insult people in school or work. We'd all love to say what we think (trust me) but as adults we've had to learn what we can/can't get away with.

a 14yo is fully capable of starting to learn those social manners, despite being autistic.

This. I say this as someone who is neurodivergent. I'm bored a lot of the time but don't go around telling people this

She’s 14 not 4. How else is she going to get a grip of social ques if every time she slips she’s given the autistic card (said as a sibling of an autistic brother who for years got it’s not his fault he’s autistic, it did him no favours).

I would tell the SENCO because your DD needs some social support - if you think this would help?
Detention won’t help her to not do that again, but some coaching would.

But she needs to do the detention - because she’s a member of the school community and as such needs to follow the rules. She was rude. Unintentionally, or unthinkingly but it was. You can’t soften every blow and this is a mild one anyway.

This is great advice. I say this being autistic myself and with autistic kids. It’s not intentional but she does need to learn and the class need to see such behaviour has consequences. You don’t any to teach your child autism is a card ergo oaky to behave how they k e bout you also need to balance that with helping teachers understand.