son lashed out at me earlier and i dont know what to do now

107 replies

harrietliveshere · 27/11/2025 14:02

hi this is my first post im sorry if its in the wrong place i been reading for ages but never posted cos i get nervus and my spelling is bad and i know its bad so plese be kind. i dont even no what im asking i just need to get this out somewere

earlier my son who is 14 he proper went for me i dont no why it got so out of hand. i was in the kit chen trying to get the washing sorted and he come in shouting about his phone not chargign again and i said just use the other plug but he started getting louder and then we ended up in this stupid argumant about school again cos he didnt go this morning and he says he feels sick every day but then spends all night up on the xbox and im just tired of it all

i wasnt shouting at him i swear i wasnt i just said we cant keep doing this every single day and he pushed past me but like harder than normal and then he sort of swung his arm and it hit my shoulder and it realy hurt and i dont think he ment to do it but maybe he did i dont no. i i just kind of stood there and he looked shocked after but then he slammed the door and went up stairs

my younger one was in the front room and saw bits of it and hes all upset now and wont come out from under the blanket and i feel like the worst mum cos none of this shoud of happend. i tried to talk to my 14yo after but he wont open the door and told me to leave him alone and im scared if i push it he will get more angry again

i dont no if this is normal teen behavior or if i need to ring school or someone else i dont want to get him into trouble he can be so sweet usualy but lately its like everythings a battle and now this has happend i feel like im shaking even now typing it out

what do i even do now i dont no.

OP posts:

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 27/11/2025 14:12

He's dysregulated because his mind and nervous system is completely out of balance. He's addicted to gaming which is destroying his capacity to focus, concentrate, feel pleasure and happiness and manage his frustration. His brain literally can't cope with the effect of gaming. You need to remove the Xbox for a while and if you do reintroduce it with heavy restrictions: it's out of hand now and needs to get back in hand.

Oftenaddled · 27/11/2025 14:12

Is there another adult (ideally male) you can get to talk to him while you get over the shock? His dad, or a grandad or an uncle maybe. In the short term, focus on calming things down - cuddle up with the younger child. Ask another adult to visit. Start making plans that involve Xbox limits, back to school, strong adult mentor for your son. Good luck.

Amba1998 · 27/11/2025 14:11

He should not be alllowed to be on his x box all night

gaming addiiction is real. And this is clearly having an impact on him mentally

thats your first step

Pancakeflipper · 27/11/2025 14:09

I think you need to go with your DS to see the GP and also speak to school. I think you need to find out what has been happening at school from.his point of view and from the school.

He sounds to be struggling.
Has this been a recent change or a build up?

If you afford a private therapist I'd get him seeing one so he can off load to someone.

I'd also wait until some calmness resumes and say (calmly) that he hurt you and that behaviour is not acceptable. But rekind him you will support and help him. I find going for a walk or a drive in the car makes difficult conversations easier.

ItsDarkNow · 27/11/2025 14:07

He is addicted to gaming by the sounds of it. Can the school offer support to you do you think?

Greyhound98 · 27/11/2025 14:05

Get rid of the x box. He doesn’t deserve it and he’s up all night and refusing school and now he’s abusing his mother.
He is on a hiding to prison if you don’t nip this in the bud. You sound scared of him.
Where’s his dad?

Buscobel · 27/11/2025 14:05

What happens when he doesn’t go to school? Does your other child go to school?

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread