Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who buys your DC Xmas gifts?

30 replies

AlwaysHopefull89 · 27/11/2025 12:59

Am I wrong to feel upset that DH hasn’t even bought our DD 1 Xmas gift?! Or even bothered looking for her?

Yet he will sit there Xmas day and take all the credit as well… or is this standard??

how our bills are split:
DH pays for all mortgage
i contribute to bills - but DH pays majority.
I pay for all childcare/ nursery fees. All care items for DC.
i pay for the food shop every week- at least over £100 (can’t get lower)

am I wrong to expect a bit of help…?

OP posts:
Prelim · 27/11/2025 13:22

We share money, but aren’t precious about who buys what. If it’s something that’s only available from a shop then the person nearest gets it. If it’s online it’s whoever remembers to do it first (we keep shared notes for food shop/presents and tick it off once done). I don’t think I know anyone who buys gifts independently for their children, unless they are separated.

PurpleThistle7 · 27/11/2025 13:19

We have one bank account but I do all the shopping. I think you’d need to have one person in charge logistically anyway so you don’t duplicate. How do you manage other random spending?

Lookingforwardto2025 · 27/11/2025 13:17

Our finances are joint so DS' gifts come out of the joint Christmas pot (we use Monzo and have several pots we both have access to). DH picked up DS' main gift as it was a switch 2 and DH works for a major electrical retailer so got a good discount. I am picking up the little bits for the stocking. All of it is paid for from the joint pot.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/11/2025 13:15

He should contribute financially to the gifts ideally, but I don’t see why he needs to choose them independently to you, I think it’s fairly normal for one parent to do the buying for the kids

whattheysay · 27/11/2025 13:13

If you’re looking for a financial contribution to the gifts then you should ask him.
If you’re looking for help in buying gifts then also ask him. Give him the list and tell him which ones he should go out and buy.
I did all the buying for the dc sometimes I paid for it if I didn’t have enough dh paid for it I told him how much I needed. But I still went and bought the presents or ordered them online.
I don’t have an issue with the one doing the actual shopping because I work part time from home he works full time out of the house and travels a lot. He is also the main breadwinner and pays for pretty much everything.

edited to add, the gifts were from Santa so neither of us took any credit for it.
Now that they’re older it’s from both of us, dh doesn’t get resentful because he’s paid for it neither do I get resentful because I went out and bought it. The kids say thank you to us both they know their dad has paid for it and I have gone out and bought it!

Swipe left for the next trending thread