Who buys your DC Xmas gifts?

I also organise ALL presents for his family (mum and dad, sister who is 43) and x1 niece and x1 nephew.

Well that needs to stop this year. If you have already bought the gifts return them. Tell him he today he needs to sort his side of the family.

As for the gifts for your kids, I’m very petty so on the card or tag would write From Mum

We split the cost but I’m always the one who organises the lists otherwise he’d leave it until the week before Christmas then have a massive panic.

Presents are funded from our joint household account. I do all the effort of buying/wrapping etc. DH doesn't complain about the cost or try and take any credit!l for any of it!

I remember crying when my friend told me that her DH took a day off every year so they could go Christmas present shopping together.

Mine did nothing towards Christmas at all. Joint account but I bought everything; kids' presents, family presents, food... which I got to cook and wash up after too, lucky old me.

He's an ex, btw.

I buy all DDs birthday and Christmas presents.
I often use my own money but we have joint funds too that I will use sometimes.

All out money is in one pot don't technically DH does buy the presents with me but practically I actually purchase them as DH is useless at presents and also he would leave it to a Christmas Eve which would stress me out so I do it. He helps wrap.

It’s two different problems - the money and the effort. My husband is genuinely the worst at choosing gifts. He inevitably gets people exactly what they’d never want. After several years of this I took over the actual shopping but all our money is in one pot. So I guess it depends if it’s the money or the effort you find most frustrating

Ok this is bad, my husband would defer to me early on, I got fed up. I decided to just take him out every year to boots and told him to buy his family’s presents because I wasn’t anymore. We did it together and still do, but I won’t tell him what to get and at the till he has to get his wallet out! After years of boots gifts on 3 for 2, plus really expensive perfume for his mum, he has started putting more thought into it!
At the end of the day, if you keep going, he’ll keep expecting you to.

I buy the majority of gifts, but the money comes from our joint account (which is currently solely funded by DH as I'm not working at the moment). However, DH has bought DS main present this year (again using joint account) and I'll wrap it.

😂😂 as the controversial (?not that I noticed) boots ad said last year, it’s Mrs Claus that does all the Christmas work. My kids are older so know exactly what they are getting, but I still buy it all, I put money aside from joint account every month into a Christmas account. My husband finds out what they have got as we are putting it out the night before! My dad used to find out (and still does to some extent) what we got when I was little, the same way! Why not ask you husband to start a tradition whereby he gets one gift - maybe a charm bracelet so he can add to it every year, or a special Christmas ornament for your child every year that is just from him. You will have to remind him every year! When your kids get older, they are aware that all the work put in was you, you will get credit for it, just delayed credit!

Stop doing this. Let DH face the consequences of not prepping for his family. You don't have to be responsible for that.

I buy everything but we have joint finances.

But dp will help (for example, I knew I wanted to get the dc a laptop last year but he will look at make, model and deals).

It is absolutely wifework and should be split, both financially and in terms of mental load, I just prefer to do it so I don't mind. If you do, he should be doing half.

They are paid for from the family pot. If you and DH have separate finances then DH should be paying half or you come to an arrangement - one of you pays for the stocking and one of you pays for the mail gift for example.

Well stop that immediately.
If his family don't get a present, thats on him
Don't make more work for yourself

All gifts, and indeed everything on your list, comes out of the joint account. We have no his and hers money. I think it's U to have any financial split to any of it.

If you mean thinking about ideas then ideally it would be equal but DH does far more than me in that regard as he has much better ideas. That side of it is highly unlikely to be equal. You should expect to be able to discuss it though.

You could have a separate bank account that you both contribute to in proportion to your incomes. So if your DH earns twice as much as you do, he puts in twice as much as you. And all bills come out of that account, including Christmas present costs.

I don't think it's unusual for one parent to take on the majority of present buying for joint children, if you're not happy with being that person then you'll need to bring it up with your DH. Generally one parent tends to be more aware of what the child actually plays with, which toys are being put away at the end of the day on a daily basis. But both parents should be aware of what the child is hoping to receive.

I do think it feels nicer when both parents are working as a team. If your DH delegates the job to you because he believes you'll be better at bargain hunting etc, you need to tell him that you want him to be more involved.

I’ve always bought, and paid for, Xmas and birthday gifts but my DH pays for everything else except my social stuff.
I consult with him, or just tell him what I’ve bought and for whom, but apart from that I do it all. He’s just not interested until the kids open their presents.

Honestly I do but I don't mind
If I needed money he would give me it

All gifts from Santa so neither of us get credit

Is the issue the lack of help in choosing gifts or the lack of financial help?

DH and I work the same way as @Prelim - we have joint notes that we each add to when we think of something DCs might like and we each tick off as we buy something. It’s all joint money so doesn’t matter who pays for it really.

Would you not go together for a day out? It was literally nearly our only date day! Costs are family costs surely! Sit down with him op, that sounds depressing, it’s a great fun day out!