To be struggling on 3k per month?

I was having a similar issue. Where was my money going.
I downloaded an excel of my last years spending from my bank.
Then I went though it line by line catagorising everything. Food, going out. Clothes. Toiletries. Days out. Travel. Petrol
Then did a pivot of what I was spending.
I was way over spending on food and days out.
I thought i was spending 500 on food. Turns out it was over 1000 eacb month with trips to the local shop and sweets etc.
You need to analyse your spending line by line and work it out.
I also added up all the tiny uneccessary monthly payments bits, natural history museum membership of 6 quid a month, spotify £10, sleep app £7 - these added up to over 250 a month.
I have since cancelled everything and put stricter budgets in place. Also started lookimg for bargains and bulk buys, like bulk buying tinned tomatoes on amazon and going to lidl rather than the easy sainos express shop at the end of the road.
Its the little tiny bits that add up the 6 quid here and there for a coffee or a subscription, you think its only 6 quid so ignore it. But 6 x 20 is 120 quid gone on little tiny 6 quids.
Ive started parking further away from the shopping centre too as realised parking was about 50 a month which I could save by walking 5 minutes.
In all since doing all of this I have saved about 1000 a month on unnecessary spending. Which was all my disposable income that I was wondering where in earth it was going.

so you need a spreadsheet.

one column basic bills with fairly static prices. like the list you're listed here. do you have house insurance?

then a column for food shop. include kids lunches, take aways, odd coffees or coffee shop weekend treats, all those incidentals.

have another column for people spends - clothes, uniforms, hair cuts, school trips, birthday and Christmas gifts

another column for everything else.

start Dec 1st and go online every few days to upload it. you'll soon see where your money is going.

any cash taken out try and list under one of those categories

do you get child support or child benefit?

My advice for frivolous spends is to set up a bank account called "frivolous spends" and chuck £50/month in there.

Then set yourself a regular monthly budget for things like clothes, make up, going out.

If you need to, you can top up the monthly budget out of the frivolous budget, but once the total budget is gone, it's gone.

I like this because it allows you to have a bit of freedom whilst also setting a limit to it. Challenging yourself to a "no spends" month followed by a treat is also good for stopping you spending when you don't actually need or really want something.

What about house and car insurance, tax, MOT;
Council tax
Clothes/uniforms
etc etc

I was a single parent up until recently and I earned 2800 per month sometimes a little bit more overtime my rent alone was 1400. Now I am based in Ireland and we don’t have council tax or water bills. But I still run a car and fed your children and managed to save.

You need to divide up your bills into monthly payments only you need to assign a certain amount to food and fuel. You need to budget.

From January 1st 2026 track every penny.

Try and save on water and food. Even £10 a week will add up.

Try and look at other bills.

You should be able to save a bit but you have to be more accountable and have saving goals too.

Don't let your parent’s comments get you down.

Parents like this are so annoying! Are they retired? People forget how much going to work costs, even WFH will cost a lot for heat and power.
It isn't a massive income at all if you're paying a lot for housing or childcare. Even small things like a coffee or a McDonald's are expensive now. Bills always rise and wages don't.

Do you like shoppping? Buy regular takeaways? Spend, spend, spend?

How old are your children? Your shopping, water, electric and gas all look quite high (assuming you’re not rattling around in a huge house).

Are you getting child benefit? Is your ex paying child support?

£150 on water monthly seems very high even if you are not on meter

If you don't know where the rest of your money goes then you really do need to go through some bank statements.

That's quite a lot of money unaccounted for. Do you have the time to do that? I know it's hard to find the time with 2 kids

You should be able to save some money from £3k a month with a £550pm mortgage.

Is your house a money pit?
What extracurricular activities do you kids do? Are you getting any child maintenance, or is their dad paying half of their activities, clothes etc?

What hobbies do you have?

What subscriptions are you signed up for, including all the little ones that add up?

Ah, I missed the weekly costs. But yes, you’re right

So work it out? It's not impossible, just take a look over the last 3 months worth of bank statements and see for yourself where it's going!

There is your answer.

It’s more like £2,300 - some is quoted weekly rather than monthly. But even so, there should be £700 left over for saving and spends.

Your banking app/online statement shows you what you’re spending, have you looked at it? Do you have childcare costs?

All that adds up to 2262 a month. You have over 700 left on 3k net. You're fine, or should be.

Altogether this comes to just over £1500. Where’s the other £1500 going? I’d be putting at least £700, if not £1000 straight into savings as soon as I got paid if I were you.

£150 per month for water?

Is that 3k after tax.
How many kids? What ages?

Make 3 lists -

1. necessary payments (rent / mortgage / energy bills / council tax, etc)
2. things you think you can probably spend less on (food / clothes / going out)
3. things that are absolute luxuries which you can do without

From your monthly earnings, take all of list 1 off, you can't avoid those. Then look at what you've got left and allocate enough to list 2 to get you by. If there's anything left either save it for a rainy day or treat yourself off list 3.

Hope that helps!