To be struggling on 3k per month?

I have but I literally have to save throughout the year for my daughter's birthday and Christmas - so £50 or £100 here or there. I also do not get child maintenance either so it is all (wonderfully!) down to me to do.

It may seem daunting but once you get on top of it for a few months, it will become second nature to you and your money will stretch a little further 🙂

I think, gently, YAB a little U to be struggling on over £3K a month but it sounds like you don't have much of a system. Your income is decent but doesn't mean you can spend all over the place without thinking. I think set up all your direct debits to go out early in the month. See if you have savings pots in your bank account (mine does). I transfer £75 a month car costs, £50 a month Christmas and £600 a month food into their own savings pots. It's easy to transfer over when I need them.

Look through a couple of bank statements and log every spend in each month in a spreadsheet under categories: Food, clothes, car, child expense, days out etc. You should then be able to see where your money is going and identify what you could cut back on.

Some things I do to save - I colour my hair at home, use Vinted to buy most of my younger DC's clothes, cut older DC's hair at home, I don't have any beauty treatments (nails, facials etc), I use up makeup I already have and don't buy much new. I do get a skin&me subscription (£25 a month) but all other skincare is fairly simple/budget.

In terms of food, I food shop once a week at Aldi and meal plan. Some nights we just have something cheap like fish fingers or pasta pesto. I don't buy too much expensive soft fruit, we have apples, satsumas, bananas. Frozen fruit and veg is good.

How you manage that? Two adults and one child here and we NEVER buy alcohol. Spend at least £150.

You sound quite passive. Time to take control, especially if you are newly single.

Why isn't your council tax on direct debit?

Tinned per food is cheaper than sachets and trays and better for recycling than plastic.

I find that when I write down every single penny I spend (with a pen and paper, not on the phone), so every little thing, every coffee, every bar of chocolate, and every large item, I really notice what I'm doing, and find it easier to cut back on the things that aren't essential.

There must be other places you're spending than just your list?

Car insurance sounds high, is it £70 per month? (£840 per year?).

Have you checked re gas & electric if you have credit in your account? Sometimes the direct debit is more than the bill, but they keep taking it (eg through the summer to pay for winter increase), but you might have quite a credit and could get some back if that is the case, alternatively, ask about switching tariffs?

Again, petrol sounds high per week, but am guessing this is for going to school or work, but are there little things you can do, for example, if your boot is really full can you empty it, to make the car a little lighter and use marginally less petrol), just being mindful?..

If you do your food shopping at the end of the day, there are often reduced items too so you could maybe cut back there.

There's also an app, and I can't remember what it is called, but it is where local food suppliers/stores sell off 'leftovers' at the end of the day for a fraction of the cost. A lot of students use this app and that might be helpful too.

@Strictlyskint I've just seen that you pay £150 for a water a month?! Is that right?!?!

We're not on a meter and we pay £20 a month (3 bed 2 bath house) and have done for years now?!

@BarbarasRhabarberba

i get £2200 petrol and food are weekly figures so I did x 4

even so that’s £800 left for treats, days out etc

as others have said you need to track your spending, so how much exactly is spent, then look at your food bill, can you shop cheaper.? Do you meal plan? £70pw on petrol seems a lot as well,

Get on a meter and this should go down to a third. It should be capped at an amount that reflects household number

Download the MSE budget planner. It helps you to work out your costs for an entire year and spread them so you know exactly what you need each month to live.

You need to literally only spend money on essentials, so bills, mortgage, food, and nothing else, so no coffees, lunches, nails etc to help you work out where your money is going. No takeaways or eating out etc.

I know cats can be fussy, but can you cut that cost of cat food down? Asda do 40 sachets for £9? and Tesco do 48 for just under £10. With that and some own brand biscuits, you could feed the cat for a lot less than £50 a month.

Clothes , shoes, makeup etc only need to be bought when they need replacing.

Is the Sky package in your ex's name? if so, then he owes the debt not you. If not then call Sky and ask if there is any way that you can end the contract by returning the equipment. Your tv should hopefully have freeview on it.

Then if you must have a tv package, you can cycle them to get more choice, so Netflix, Amazon, Apple tv, Disney+, but one at a time until you switch to another one for a while.

There are lots of ways that you can reduce the bill.

You certainly it need to look into that Sky bill if you aren’t even using it.

Re your mobile phone - are you on a contract whereby you are paying back the cost of your phone? Is it on a fixed term? Once you are out of the term of your contract,
don’t upgrade. I have Sim only with Lebara and it’s less than £10 per month.

So your actual monthly income is £3,261. Your out-goings according to your list are around £2,200.

So you have £1,000 spare each month and you say you don't know where it goes?

I got it as £2200, petrol is per week too (is that right OP - that's a full tank a week?).

Still, £800 leftover after all food and bills really doesn't sound terrible to me. But it's obviously going somewhere - eating out, buying stuff for the kids/yourself, what? You need to go back through your statements and work out what is getting spent and where. There's no magic bullet: you just need to know a) what you're not able to buy that you want to and b) what that money is disappearing on.

When I was younger and not very good with money (and didn't have enough of it), I had three bank accounts to ringfence my money. You might want four. One to deposit money into for rent/mortgage, one for bills, one for groceries, and one for spending. It means the first two, the most important, always get paid/aren't spent on other things. And the last one makes it really easy to monitor spending on extras.

How old are your DC, OP? I was thinking you could try to get your food bills down a bit, but that probably depends on the age of your children.

You’ve added it up incorrectly - the petrol and food costs are weekly, other costs are monthly .

She doesn't need to get rid of the cat! Honestly. It's a live animal, part of the family not something you just chuck out to save £50 a month.🙄

Your mortgage is very low. You should manage on your salary reasonably well. Depends where the rest of the money is bring spent.

Your food bill seems high for 1 adult 2 children?

We have 3 adults (4 if DS is back from uni) and our bill is between £130-140. We eat differently, I’m veggie, others not, so it’s on the more expensive side as I have to buy alternatives - we can’t just buy more of the same, so that can put the price up.

Is there anyway you can cut this back a bit?

If your income is £3000 and your outgoings are £1540, where does the rest go? You should have £1400 a month as surplus income?

It's united utilities. They're hideously expensive and going up every year.

https://www.unitedutilities.com/my-account/your-bill/our-household-charges-20252026/how-bills-for-households-without-a-meter-are-changing-for-20252026/

Ours is £92.30 a month.

Anyway OP look at switching to Monzo. You can create “pots” to put money into e.g one for school holidays, one for Christmas, one for clothes etc. then sit and budget your pay each month and split it into the pots

What’s given you that idea?

Why are you counting 2 adults. Mine income is around £1500 take home a month. Wheres the £1109 child benefit. I got it a few years ago but it was about £80 a month

There’s quite a lot not included in your list. Birthday presents, haircuts, clothes etc. And I imagine you go out sometimes?
Your parents are being quite unhelpful with their comments. But maybe you need a more detailed and realistic review of outgoings.