To be struggling on 3k per month?

Your money seems to be disappearing into a black hole. With your outgoings you should be managing easily. Your mortgage is very very low. Food expenditure is a bit high. Where is your money going. Are you in debt and'/or paying off credit cards.

I would highly recommend you head over to Moneysaving expert forums. You don't need anyone here telling you that you should be saving 1k a month

Yes, that's the one I mean. In my opinion (and |I may be wrong!) the set of OP posts suggests that they are not being generated by a human. They are the sort of thing that's generated when you input text into ChatGPT and ask for a short reply.

I don’t understand what you mean? It doesn’t say ‘see all’ apart from the button that allows you to see all the OPs posts? Unless the app is not showing me something

OP's original and subsequent posts must be AI generated/related to training AI - look at them all ('see all' in the bottom RH corner of any of their posts). That's why they are not providing sensible replies from a real person who wants to do something about their situation.

Having said that, I think it's a useful conversation to be having to help anyone in real life who is reading the replies and having difficulties managing their money.

You’re frivolous 🤷‍♀️

Yes. Make a YNAB account. There is a 34 days free trial. Now is the perfect time to try it.

It's envelope budgeting. You'll have categories for everything and you'll assign the money to each category. Then you'll be able to see how much money you do or don't have once your true spending is taken into account.

When you get down to the granular detail, you might (for example) suddenly realise that the cheeky £5 coffee that you have each morning at the train station is actually £25 per week, and £100 each month. Then you might be absolutely happy with that, or you might decide that you'd rather that £100 went towards your holiday.

You might realise that shopping locally at the convenience shop because you've run out of food is costing you £600 but if you meal plan and shop at Lidl, the same food will only cost you £500. Another £100 saved.

It's amazing what is hidden in our habits when we aren't focusing on it. YNAB helps you bring clarity to your spending and then you find your savings.

You'll set up a holiday category, and you can funnel savings towards it if you make savings elsewhere.

😂 Sorry yes just realised that’s not clear at all. They do have their own stuff on the Roku channel also.

Of course it is BUT ONLY IF YOU START BUDGETING.

If you are determined to just keep spending money without paying any attention, you will always end up living paycheque to paycheque and be in constant crisis mode. Start taking some responsibility for your money.

How on earth would we know?

Look, you need to get a grip of your finances if you're real and not just here to whip the froth

Print out the last few months of bank statements.

Look at them. See for yourself what your are spending money on.

I'm struggling to understand how someone on £3k a month can't work this out tbh. You're obviously not completely incapable so why are you being so passive about where your money is going?

Surely you still have to pay Netflix? I've just looked it up, and you do still need to pay the monthly subs, it's just a way of accessing the apps (like a smart TV, but I guess fir when your TV isn't smart).

This, your just bleeting about having no money but not actually producing what your spending it on for anyone to give you any real advice.

I feel like I should start a business to help people who can’t work out where all their money is going work out where all their money is going! Could probably charge a fortune too seeing as they’re so clueless!
no one can tell you if you can afford to go on holiday next year unless you put your big girl pants on and sit down to go through your bank statements for the last few months. Start a spreadsheet and group everything you’ve spent into categories eg food, healthcare, household bills, car, travel, cat etc and then you’ll have a clearer picture of what’s essential and what’s ad hoc non-essential spending and shop around for better deals on insurance policies and phone / tv / broadband.
it might be that all your outgoings are essential and there’s no scope for cut backs, in which case you can’t afford to go on holiday but I’d be surprised if you can’t make some savings.

@Strictlyskint
Yes, a holiday is a possibility if you take action now to sort your spending - it may not be far or exotic but it is achievable. You have had plenty of advice on here about how to get a budget under way.

Go through bank statements for the last 12 months and highlight in different colours the spending that is main bills, needs and what is frivolous or a want to see where the money goes.

Negotiate variable bills like insurances/Sky

See where you can cut fuel & food

Treat savings as a main bill and the same for the amount set aside for yearly bills like car stuff.

Give yourself a 'fun' money allowance every week - if you don't spend it then carry it over to the next week.

Do all of the above and you will become money/spending aware

Write up a proper budget and stick to it and stop being so dithery!

Previous posters telling her that people on benefits are apparently raking it in in comparrison.

There are going to be some more essential costs out of this such as children’s clothing,
including uniform, any afterschool clubs, other school costs, plus Christmas and birthdays to save for.

OP - does the children’s father help at all? Do they see him?

That's down to your poor planning around finances, no other reason.

This isn't what you spend though, is it? You'd need to go through all your income and expenditure for the last year to find that out.

You're forgetting all the other categories of unpredictable expenditure e.g. school clothes, haircuts, MOTs etc.

Here is the list of my annual expenses from the last calendar year. My husband pays for internet and most of the food shopping and his expenditure on car/union fees/life insurance and personal spending isn't included here.

02/11/2024 to 27/11/2025:

#House Deposit Savings
Husband ISA payments: -£14,886.98
My ISA payments: -£10,554.12
My ISA interest: -£213.78
Husband ISA interest: -£79.99
My premium bonds: -£1.00
Expenses
Home improvements: -£11,997.22 (new bathroom)
My personal: -£2,243.18
Eating out: -£1,168.07
Presents/parties: -£1,136.32
Xmas: -£828.60
Health: -£661.10
Work lunches: -£639.75
Food: -£596.54
Home items: -£505.82
Adult time/babysitting: -£345.50
Days out: -£259.05
Emergency: -£80.00
Miscellaneous: -£56.85
Husband personal: -£22.98

Bills
#Mortgage: -£3,959.14 (paid off our mortgage this year so lower than before)
Council tax: -£2,132.19
E.on: -£1,775.56
Life and critical illness insurance: -£1,193.96
Professional fees: -£529.70
Water: -£447.34
Home/contents insurance: -£347.35
Window cleaning: -£184.00
TV licence: -£174.50
Gutters: -£110.50
Phone: -£101.01
Garden waste: -£100.00
Investment fees: -£4.95
#Extra payments
Mortgage overpayment: -£13,716.20
Husband mortgage OP: -£1,000.00
Surplus account overpayment: -£822.01
Kids
#Difference between nursery/wraparound care: -£3,715.45 (will be saved after child started school)
Wraparound care: -£3,330.86
Nursery: -£2,081.23
Clothing: -£1,248.80
Swimming: -£980.00
Music/other activities: -£886.38
Kids other: -£649.89
School meals: -£530.00
Holiday clubs: -£173.00
School trip: -£57.00

Holidays
Accomodation: -£2,183.76
Food: -£782.68
Eating out: -£663.34
Miscellaneous: -£352.59
Days out: -£170.89
Tolls: -£127.92
Insurance: -£77.53
Unknown: -£12.10
Car
Fuel: -£2,099.16
Service/MOT: -£388.88
Car repair: -£371.58
Insurance: -£244.71
#LISA
Lisa payments: -£3,999.96
Lisa interest: -£1,952.00
Subscriptions
Singing lessons: -£650.00
Husband sport subs: -£582.30
Charity: -£419.00
Amazon prime: -£107.88
Gym: -£95.00
Other subscription: -£50.99
Apps/other: -£31.86
Miscellaneous

Car/Travel Continued
Insurance: -£244.71
Breakdown: -£74.14
Parking/tolls: -£64.90
Bus/p&r: -£47.35
Taxes: -£35.00
Car wash: -£13.00
Other: -£7.00

And can I just say, I WAS in the red every month. I hated looking at my bank account. I dreaded the thought of looking through all my expenditure.
But there are things that pop up regularly that you don't consider. Essential house maintenance or repair. Washing machine goes. Boiler service. Tap not working. Kids' hobbies and afterschool. Pocket money. Their birthdays and other occasions. Friends' birthdays. Parking. Haircuts. Clothes. Shoes. Gym. Child needs dental treatment etc.
Where i spent money not noticing was paying higher electricity, phone and broadband without realising and discretionary spending on that coffee, snack etc.
Writing down then into your budget does help you think about what you are spending. You can do it.
Honestly I find my food bill is a big expense and getting harder every month.

Yes, i think so. On paper I have a good job. Like you have a smallish mortgage. But I was in the red every month.
It is tough to look after children as a truly lone parent. I found the chatgpt budget helped me.

That is high for a typical user, so if on SVR should be paying in the region of £150 a month. OPs mortgage is at a level which suggests that they don’t live in a huge house and with three of them, they should be in line with a typical user rather than a high user. Most people are pretty clueless when it comes to utility bills, so its always worth looking to make sure you are being billed correctly (based on usage and not estimates) and are on the best tariff for your own circumstances (generally a fixed tariff).

What I did when I had more month than money for it was list everything I'd spent money on in the previous month that wasn't an absolute necessity. I discovered that I was frittering money on eating out, snacks from the corner shop and takeaways. I cut lunch out and takeaways to once a month, stopped going for coffee when I was out shopping and buying 99% of my snacks and other food in supermarkets. It has made a difference but you have to be disciplined.

You need to spreadsheet up one month. Put everything in a long list. If I do that with mine it's got things like - £13.47 Vinted, £6.40 Costa, £17.99 Amazon, £10 for birthday party gift for kid's friend...

@Strictlyskint
So your monthly income = £3261
Outgoings listed = £2310 (listed petrol/food as weekly so x by 4.5 to get pcm)
Balance left is actually £951 pcm
You haven't listed insurances for house + pet or tv license or MoT/servicing/road tax etc and presumably you have DC activities to pay wkly/pcm too. Then there's birthdays/xmas/clothing/holidays etc and there's no budget for that. You have no savings plan. I think your main problem is that you're clueless about how to budget because this should be more than enough to live on and save. It is possible to learn budgeting.

Your petrol is high at £315pcm. Do you need to drive so much or can you reduce that by walking? How old are your DC - can they walk distances or is this a time issue for going from home to school to work and then back again? Look to see if car is too heavy on petrol use or where you could walk/bus/cycle instead (easy to say I know but...)

Your food is £675pcm. Do you plan food buying by making lists or do you buy the same staples every week plus what ever you fancy - if so stop. Do a complete food inventory this weekend of fridge/cupboards/freezer and see what you can use over the coming weeks plus what you don't use or use a lot etc. Throw out stuff that's out of date and give away what you don't use to a food charity - clearer cupboards/freezer give you an idea of what you already have or need. Write a menu on a 4 weekly rota and stick to it - create a speadsheet or you can buy blank menu pads. Can you cook or do you buy ready made? You and your DC have favourite foods so base a menu around this. Stick to your list when shopping and maybe allow 1 treat item that's on offer and not on the list each week. I use a Nectar card each week and plan menus around the deals offered and I save up all my points to use at Christmas for food.

Sky is too much unless you're paying for something gimmicky like Sky Glass - is this in your name if it was taken out with a partner? Are you in contract to Sky? If not then you need to be firm with Sky about cancelling. Give them the required notice and cancel the DD. If equipment needs returning then they should be sending you the means to return it. What amount are they asking for if you try to cancel?
How are you currently viewing tv entertainment? Think about getting a Firestick or NOW stick/box or similar which will be way cheaper.

Sign up to Martin Lewis' Money site. He does give lots of great advice and you can learn to budget from there. With the income you have, you should be saving £300pcm plus £100 to cover things like car expenses & insurances, birthdays etc - it is always cheaper to pay for things yearly rather than monthly.