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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are you regularly followed by security guards in shops for no reason?

86 replies

Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 10:49

If so you are my people

I'm a middle aged lawyer with kids I don't dress weird and I'm old enough to have the confidence to be sure there is nothing particular thievy about me but there is something in my manner or essence that gets the shiny tabard men twitching.

(Latest shout out to you, Boots in the st James Quarter Edinburgh)

It has been like this since I was a teen, when I figured it was because they assume teens are all lifting lipstick but then it never stopped.

So now I figure they probably think they can look busy by following me without any risk whatsoever while the men with holdalls continue to fill their boots (sometimes literally).

OP posts:
Bambamhoohoo · 27/11/2025 11:17

only when I’ve been with black friends.

also have the pleasure of only being pulled over by security when going away with black friends

Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:16

Aweekoffwork · 27/11/2025 11:15

My female friend who has lots of piercings, tattoos and pink hair gets followed sometimes and she’s one of the kindest, most generous and genuine person I know

Yeah it is often a going after gentle looking people I think. Gentle and having the temerity not to fit in is the twofer

OP posts:
Fionasapples · 27/11/2025 11:16

I haven't noticed it happening to me but I was in Superdrug recently and a customer was complaining to a member of staff that the security man was following her around the shop!

Aweekoffwork · 27/11/2025 11:15

My female friend who has lots of piercings, tattoos and pink hair gets followed sometimes and she’s one of the kindest, most generous and genuine person I know

Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:13

Mimsykins · 27/11/2025 11:10

I work in retail and people we would watch... large empty carrier bags, lots of bags with not much in, anything that looks like its obscuring their face, wearing nitrile gloves (genuinely!) and most of all shoplifters give off a vibe. Most of my colleagues can spot one just by looking at them.

As I say there's nothing remotely red flag about me. I do think some people have a "who does that plain woman think she is just walking around with no worries" nasty impulse so there will be that plus the aforementioned no likelihood of argy bargy from me.

If I hired those guys I'd want my money back, though, do they never wonder why their amazing intuition is only met with increased shoplifting stats?

OP posts:
Mimsykins · 27/11/2025 11:10

I work in retail and people we would watch... large empty carrier bags, lots of bags with not much in, anything that looks like its obscuring their face, wearing nitrile gloves (genuinely!) and most of all shoplifters give off a vibe. Most of my colleagues can spot one just by looking at them.

Ohthatsabitshit · 27/11/2025 10:54

Used to happen all the time when my children were younger. I assumed it was lots of small children and a big pushchair was a flag?? Less so now.

Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 10:53

Palourdes · 27/11/2025 10:51

If you’re conscious of often being followed, it can make you self-conscious and hence shifty-looking, I think.

Oh I'm not shifty at all - in youth I was pretty devastated about it because why were all these separate guys making the same call but now if I turn around to see them lurking I just give them a big old smile

OP posts:
Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 10:52

needless to say it does not happen when with my husband

OP posts:
Agix · 27/11/2025 10:52

Got followed a heck of a lot when I was a personal assistant accompanying our service users.

Palourdes · 27/11/2025 10:51

If you’re conscious of often being followed, it can make you self-conscious and hence shifty-looking, I think.