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AIBU?

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Original poster

Are you regularly followed by security guards in shops for no reason?

86 replies

Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 10:49

If so you are my people

I'm a middle aged lawyer with kids I don't dress weird and I'm old enough to have the confidence to be sure there is nothing particular thievy about me but there is something in my manner or essence that gets the shiny tabard men twitching.

(Latest shout out to you, Boots in the st James Quarter Edinburgh)

It has been like this since I was a teen, when I figured it was because they assume teens are all lifting lipstick but then it never stopped.

So now I figure they probably think they can look busy by following me without any risk whatsoever while the men with holdalls continue to fill their boots (sometimes literally).

OP posts:
turkeyboots · 27/11/2025 11:49

I had a lovely grey Seasalt rain coat which seemed to attract security guards. I'd be followed in loads of shops. It doesn't happen if I wear a different coat!

Ricebaffled · 27/11/2025 11:47

Par for the course as a black person. In my case anyway and that of many I know.

NebulousSadTimes · 27/11/2025 11:45

But you’re looking to see if they’re watching or following you. That’s what makes you look shifty to security guards

Many people will sense that someone is following them. It's not unusual to have someone near you in a shop but they tend to move away when they're doing their own thing. Someone being with you on your whole journey round a shop is not usual and you might look round to see who it is. That's understandable, surely.

Supersimkin7 · 27/11/2025 11:44

TK Maxx is annoying. The second you step in Velcro man attaches himself, often thumping your back he’s so close, and shuffles round admiring ladies xs sweaters while you pathetically try to move.

Meantime nasty large gentlemen junkies are robbing Gold Label three foot away.

Original poster
Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:43

miraxxx · 27/11/2025 11:33

Btw it is often the case that dark skinned people like me are followed around more than others.

How do you know?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:42

GasPanic · 27/11/2025 11:41

Ditch the black and white striped bag with "SWAG" written on it.

🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:41

Praying4Peace · 27/11/2025 11:39

What do you consider a red flag?

Show quote history

The big bags, mask, gloves, standing shiftily looking from side to side.

I know you think that was some gotcha and I was going to say "I look like a middle class LADY HOW DARE YOU".

OP posts:
GasPanic · 27/11/2025 11:41

Ditch the black and white striped bag with "SWAG" written on it.

Praying4Peace · 27/11/2025 11:39

Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:13

As I say there's nothing remotely red flag about me. I do think some people have a "who does that plain woman think she is just walking around with no worries" nasty impulse so there will be that plus the aforementioned no likelihood of argy bargy from me.

If I hired those guys I'd want my money back, though, do they never wonder why their amazing intuition is only met with increased shoplifting stats?

Edited
Show quote history

What do you consider a red flag?

Praying4Peace · 27/11/2025 11:37

Important to acknowledge that shoplifters don't fit a particular profile and shoplifting is on unprecedented scales.
I am regularly followed and find it really irritating but so be it

miraxxx · 27/11/2025 11:33

Btw it is often the case that dark skinned people like me are followed around more than others.

ThereWillBeSigns · 27/11/2025 11:33

I felt a bit sad when it stopped happening to me, and when I wasn't "randomly" stopped and searched at airports anymore. Just another boring middle aged woman.

miraxxx · 27/11/2025 11:31

I have been told that I have an incredibly honest face - whatever that means. Customs types never check my luggage even when I am carrying banned books or exotic cooking ingredients. In malls, I walk in, buy something and walk out as soon as possible because I hate them. I only dawdle in specialty foods shops, art and hardware stores. Never had any issue with security.

Palourdes · 27/11/2025 11:24

Bambamhoohoo · 27/11/2025 11:22

Yes I would do this. They’re only normal people paid min wage to protect the stock of some shop, why not ask them?

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Because while the OP is distracting the security guard with conversation, her accomplice is cramming a lot of lipsticks into her thigh-high boots? 😀

cramptramp · 27/11/2025 11:23

No. Or if I am, I’m not aware of it. If I was, it wouldn’t bother me.

OverlyFragrant · 27/11/2025 11:23

I usually don't but your post just bought back a brilliant memory of mine.
I had to have a front tooth extracted, and it was quite brutal. My face swelled something rotten, I had bloody dribble down my front and my hair was a mess from sitting in the dentists chair for so long.
Once it was over, and still numb, I realised I'm in town and should probably go get some new knickers from primark. I obviously wasn't thinking straight.
Anyway, I must have looked like a vagrant, missing tooth and all, and the security guard instantly decided I couldn't be trusted.
So what followed was a game of 'follow me around the store whilst I pick up random things and put them down and play with my pockets'.
It kept me entertained for a good 20 minutes.

Bambamhoohoo · 27/11/2025 11:22

Itiswhysofew · 27/11/2025 11:21

No, haven't experienced that. I'd be tempted to ask security if they can shed any light on it🤷‍♀️

Yes I would do this. They’re only normal people paid min wage to protect the stock of some shop, why not ask them?

Itiswhysofew · 27/11/2025 11:21

No, haven't experienced that. I'd be tempted to ask security if they can shed any light on it🤷‍♀️

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 27/11/2025 11:21

Yep, me always, and a lot of my extended family too. Sometimes the security guards make it extremely obvious, not like they're simply checking that you're not stealing anything, but more like they want to make you feel intimidated.

I'm a woman in my early 40s who works in an office. I dress boringly. I don't know what they're seeing.

Palourdes · 27/11/2025 11:20

Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 10:53

Oh I'm not shifty at all - in youth I was pretty devastated about it because why were all these separate guys making the same call but now if I turn around to see them lurking I just give them a big old smile

Show quote history

But you’re looking to see if they’re watching or following you. That’s what makes you look shifty to security guards, regardless of whether you then smile. Most people walking around Boots or a supermarket aren’t keeping an eye on the security guard— the ones who are doing so are probably more likely to be shoplifting.

(I had an informative conversation with a garden centre worker recently. He said shoplifting was rife!)

Original poster
Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:20

The thing that extra annoys me is they can see everything we bloody do on CCTV anyway so it's humiliation for no reason

OP posts:
PersephoneSmith · 27/11/2025 11:19

Yes, I’m a wheelchair user so I think they think I must be poor and on benefits, plus I have places to stash stuff if I wanted to steal.

Original poster
Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:19

Judeyoubigtwat · 27/11/2025 11:17

Yes, but I look really dodgy.

I am a complete scruff bag and I am losing my vision, so a trip round Tesco for a few bits is a nightmare. I’m up and down the wrong isles, muttering to myself, picking up and putting down the wrong things.

I’d follow me too, so I don’t blame them. I have sold to them before when I’ve noticed, “look, I’m not nicking anything, I’m just getting used to going blind, if you’d just help me, this would be less painful for both of us” To be fair, they have helped me right away.

Dh does the shopping, but I occasionally go in for small things.

🤣 to be fair when I'm in my gym stuff it bothers me less because fair dos

OP posts:
Original poster
Pavementworrier · 27/11/2025 11:18

Fionasapples · 27/11/2025 11:16

I haven't noticed it happening to me but I was in Superdrug recently and a customer was complaining to a member of staff that the security man was following her around the shop!

I complained once (in Boots but another branch) and tbf they did say sorry but I guess did not say hey young men in this country it is creepy to follow women two paces behind while they're buying tampons

OP posts:
Judeyoubigtwat · 27/11/2025 11:17

Yes, but I look really dodgy.

I am a complete scruff bag and I am losing my vision, so a trip round Tesco for a few bits is a nightmare. I’m up and down the wrong isles, muttering to myself, picking up and putting down the wrong things.

I’d follow me too, so I don’t blame them. I have sold to them before when I’ve noticed, “look, I’m not nicking anything, I’m just getting used to going blind, if you’d just help me, this would be less painful for both of us” To be fair, they have helped me right away.

Dh does the shopping, but I occasionally go in for small things.