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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say I’ve never liked “loud” wedding dresses?

31 replies

CalmDownItsTulle · 26/11/2025 21:44

Bridal wear is so personal, I get that but I’ve just never liked what I’d call “loud” dresses. Big ball gowns, layers of sparkle, feathers, dramatic colours or anything that screams “look at me!” just don’t appeal.

I’ve always preferred subtle silhouettes, clean lines and dresses where the bride shines, not just the outfit. Minimalism feels timeless to me and I sometimes think over the top dresses can age fast in photos.

AIBU to think loud wedding dresses are just not it? Or am I just boring?

(And yes, I know it’s there day. I’m not running through receptions with scissors. Just curious what others think!)

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HeddaGarbled · 27/11/2025 00:42

anything that screams “look at me!” just don’t appeal

I’ve always preferred ……. dresses where the bride shines

No contradiction there at all.

Surely the whole point of a wedding dress is “look at me”. We aren’t all naturally gorgeous. Embellishment helps.

BauhausOfEliott · 27/11/2025 00:19

Big ball gowns, layers of sparkle, feathers, dramatic colours or anything that screams “look at me!

Simply having a wedding at all screams 'Look at me'. And so what?

BauhausOfEliott · 27/11/2025 00:13

I’ve just never liked what I’d call “loud” dresses

Don't wear one to your wedding, then.

CrossChecking · 27/11/2025 00:08

I'm a very understated person in general, not one for big flouncy things. Not a wedding dress my teen dd is going to a ball soon and wants a big flouncy princess dress and honestly I love that for her. I think it takes a lot of confidence and self assurance to wear a 'look at me dress' and it makes me really proud that dd doesn't want to be a wallflower, she is comfortable with taking up space and wearing what makes her feel good.

So I say good on those brides who wear 'look at me' dresses, why shouldn't they want people to look at them when they've gone to all of that time and expense to look that way. It isn't a sin to want to be admired, you don't win any prizes for blending into the walls. If understated is your thing then that's great but it isn't intrinsically better than a woman who wants to be seen and isn't apologetic about it.

rainbowunicorn · 26/11/2025 23:58

I think people should wear whatever they like on their wedding day. I also think you just started this thread to be sneery about what women wear. I think you are hoping that lots of other people who like to be sneery and bitchy about other women will join you on your thread and you can all have a good laugh about the terrible taste some women have. Finally, I think that it is a shame that in 2025 women are still other women's worst critics.

Twinkletoes127 · 26/11/2025 23:44

RosesAndHellebores · 26/11/2025 22:13

I got married at the height of bo-peep, rose trimmed, puff sleeved paraphernalia. My frock was very unusual. It had not a frill, not a ruffle, not a bow. Just a Princess line satin frock with a small train and otherwise totally plain.

It sounds beautiful

bridgetreilly · 26/11/2025 23:28

I don’t really understand, tbh. You are perfectly reasonable to have a preference for your own wedding dress. You are completely unreasonable if you are trying to dictate other people’s choices for their wedding dress. But I can’t tell from your post which you mean.

Hohumdedum · 26/11/2025 23:21

I thought I preferred simple minimalist dresses but turns out they didn't suit me. I ended up with a massive lacey puffball that I only tried on as a joke, but looked amazing.

People should wear what suits them.

Justchillinhere · 26/11/2025 23:20

My dress was clean lined, minimalist with nice embroidered pattern, I hate being centre of attention, even at my own wedding. Everyone has choice, can't say i would dislike anyone's taste, or have anything negative to say, rather judgy

DarkSunrise · 26/11/2025 23:11

You are entitled to pick any type of dress you like for your own wedding day but you don’t get to choose anyone else’s.

You don’t have to like or approve of someone else’s tastes, just as they don’t have to like or approve of yours.

This isn’t something you can claim to be “right” on.

TheCorrsDidDreamsBetter · 26/11/2025 23:06

I don't think any dress looks bad on the right person, and when they are happy I am happy, but I have been to some weddings where the bride hasn't considered the practicalities of the dress, such as how will they go to the bathroom, how will they not fall over during the first dance, how will they squeeze through crowds if they choose smaller venues and fill it with lots of people without getting their dress stood on.

The one I went to recently, the dress had to be made and fitted across the country, cost an absolute fortune, you could have bought a small car for the cost of the dress, it was absolutely stunning, and something the bride wanted on display at home when the wedding was over, but it had a long train that frayed on the concrete outside of the venue, went flying during the first dance, and at the do afterwards, kept getting yanked back by drunk and merry family and friends because we were all sardined in. By the time we had gotten round to the first dance, the groom had also gotten tipsy, and the amount of times he'd trodden on the train was unbelievable, the bride was getting more and more pissed off and it just soured the night.

Don't get me wrong, the bride looked absolutely stunning, it was a huge princess style gown, and it's not something I'd have thought she'd have chosen but she did and it really suited her, but there was just no consideration for how cohesive it would be with the rest of the day.

tripleginandtonic · 26/11/2025 23:03

DeedlessIndeed · 26/11/2025 22:38

In the nicest way, if a woman can't wear a big "look at me!" dress on her wedding day, then when the F can she?

This.

ThatCyanCat · 26/11/2025 23:01

Big ball gowns, layers of sparkle, feathers, dramatic colours or anything that screams “look at me!”

She's the bride, it's ok for her to expect to be looked at.

I've actually never been to a real life wedding where the dress was crazy. Never seen feathers or anything massive and I don't think a bit of sparkle is out of place on a bride. But so what? Wedding dresses aren't a moral issue.

sesquipedalian · 26/11/2025 23:01

On your wedding day, you the bride get to choose your “look”. If it’s always been your dream to look like a cross between something out of swan lake and a Las Vegas entertainer, you go girl!

Palourdes · 26/11/2025 22:59

I got married in jeans, but if someone wants to go all out with a ‘Vera Wang Meets Barbie via Marie Antoinette’ dress, I say they should go for it. And arrive in a glass pumpkin pulled by eight white ponies if they feel like it.

And given that so many Mn threads about wedding guest wear go in absolute horror of pale dresses for fear you might be mistaken for the bride, surely a ‘Look at me and my light-up, forty-foot dress!’ is going to clear all that up?

I mean, frankly I love attention. I never see what the issue is.

ContinuewithGoogle · 26/11/2025 22:54

Soonenough · 26/11/2025 22:17

I do wonder why some brides think that style is attractive. Reminds me of Traveller brides and don't understand why they choose those sorts of dresses either . Personally I think they look cartoonist.

it's their dream dress, maybe the like the "cartoonist" look. As long as they're happy, and not forced into something by an overbearing mother or a MIL from hell, good for them?

(ideally not going into debt for the next 25 years should be a bonus)

ContinuewithGoogle · 26/11/2025 22:52

If shops have all kind of dresses, it means people buy all kind of dresses. In all shapes and colours. Black seems to be quite fashionable at the moment - the more choices the better surely?
Who cares?

The only thing I would say is that even a minimalist wedding dress screams "look at me" unless you have a very intimate wedding 😂

DeedlessIndeed · 26/11/2025 22:38

In the nicest way, if a woman can't wear a big "look at me!" dress on her wedding day, then when the F can she?

SleepingStandingUp · 26/11/2025 22:33

so your question is aybu to have your own taste in clothes? no op you're allowed your own opinion.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 26/11/2025 22:28

You don't like them, fine. To say that they're not 'it' is plain rude to people who think they are.
You do understand that everyone is different with differing opinions yes?

EchoedSilence · 26/11/2025 22:24

I think you should wear what the hell you like on your wedding day and ofc you want people to look at you.

Soonenough · 26/11/2025 22:17

I do wonder why some brides think that style is attractive. Reminds me of Traveller brides and don't understand why they choose those sorts of dresses either . Personally I think they look cartoonist.

Echobelly · 26/11/2025 22:16

I'm just delighted more people feel they don't have to wear a big white dress if they don't want to these days - fine if you want to of course.

I personally love seeing brides in unusual or colourful dresses - I've never seen them not suit a bride because you can be sure they're always something the bride has chosen very deliberately and loves. Whereas sometimes you can see brides who seem a bit uncomfortable in a trad dress although most women do choose that actively and look lovely too. Of course, there are options between traditional and making a big statement.

I think people should look like themselves getting married and for some people that's the big white dress, for others it could be a rainbow sequined jumpsuit. In my case it was a mid length blue dress and a custom made fascinator. My SIL got an Indian dressmaker to make her a modern saree-style dress out of turquoise saree fabric. My sister got married in more traditional off-white strapless corset with long bias-cut skirt and looked amazing because she can carry that kind of thing off elegantly.

RosesAndHellebores · 26/11/2025 22:13

I got married at the height of bo-peep, rose trimmed, puff sleeved paraphernalia. My frock was very unusual. It had not a frill, not a ruffle, not a bow. Just a Princess line satin frock with a small train and otherwise totally plain.

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