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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you say? I was stumped!

131 replies

Whattosay1 · 26/11/2025 21:41

New guy started at work…conversation went like this.
set the scene, he had just mentioned to a co worker that his wife hates eggs so he can’t make them at home so he was happy he could get them in the canteen.
me- ah where does your wife work, I hope they don’t serve eggs there (joking)
him- (laughing)oh she doesn’t work…she’s at home preparing for the baby.
me- oh how lovely. Congratulations’ when is baby due?
him- well she’s not actually pregnant yet…we’re just trying.
me- oh…ok.

other colleagues were very confused…as was I…is this normal? 😆

OP posts:
Starlight1984 · 27/11/2025 16:34

I wish I didn't have to work.

fishfingerbutty · 27/11/2025 16:32

Just get on with doing your jobs?

Cucy · 27/11/2025 16:24

KilkennyCats · 27/11/2025 16:18

Why would this conversation have come up “sooner or later”?
Most people don’t enquire what their colleagues partner’s do for a living?

Oh really?

At my work we all know what everyone’s partners do.

Its part of our normal conversation.
We are all quite close though.

Wickedlittledancer · 27/11/2025 16:20

I find it really odd to use it as an opportunity to ask where his wife works. Do you fancy him or something? You seem a little over invested in his wife.

humblebea · 27/11/2025 16:20

@ACatNamedRobinThere’s more to life than work you know! You have no idea what she does all day so you should keep your judgement to yourself.

KilkennyCats · 27/11/2025 16:18

Cucy · 26/11/2025 23:18

I think it’s fine to ask where his wife works.

He is probably just embarrassed to say she is unemployed and they’re likely trying for a baby.

This conversation would have come up sooner or later and so it’s good to know that she doesn’t work incase there are any conversations about it in the future.

Why would this conversation have come up “sooner or later”?
Most people don’t enquire what their colleagues partner’s do for a living?

SushiForMe · 27/11/2025 16:14

I did that! We were moving countries and were starting to think about a baby so we didn’t plan for me to look for work.
At the end it took 4y for us to conceive - I went back to work after 2. But I really enjoyed these 2 years!

ACatNamedRobin · 27/11/2025 16:09

pikkumyy77 · 27/11/2025 15:25

What an ugly thing to say.

@pikkumyy77
Why?

Sloth is a mortal sin, according to Christianity which is ostensibly the moral code for millions.

And even without being a Christian one can hold a bad view of it.

surreygirly · 27/11/2025 15:41

It was a joke
Lighten up

VIOLETPUGH · 27/11/2025 15:41

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 26/11/2025 22:25

I literally would just have said ‘lovely’ and given it no further thought. I assume you hate your job?

Odd comment !!!

Palourdes · 27/11/2025 15:40

My SIL quit her job a month before she got married in the late eighties and hasn’t worked since. Her children are now aged between 27 and 34, and have long left home. I find it baffling. They don’t have much money. Her husband had to give up a very physical job when his body aged out of it. She’s clever, but bone lazy.

pinkyredrose · 27/11/2025 15:39

ACatNamedRobin · 26/11/2025 22:27

Some people are lazy.
And some of those have others that can indulge their sloth.
It was ever thus.

What on earth are you on about?

Elizabethandfour · 27/11/2025 15:34

Maybe she is wealthy. Maybe she lots her job. Maybe they are trying to conceive. You don’t have to work if you can afford not to.

Bundleflower · 27/11/2025 15:29

Cucy · 26/11/2025 23:18

I think it’s fine to ask where his wife works.

He is probably just embarrassed to say she is unemployed and they’re likely trying for a baby.

This conversation would have come up sooner or later and so it’s good to know that she doesn’t work incase there are any conversations about it in the future.

This. Whenever there’s a work thread it’s awash with ‘I can’t believe you said that!’ about the most mundane things.

pikkumyy77 · 27/11/2025 15:25

ACatNamedRobin · 26/11/2025 22:27

Some people are lazy.
And some of those have others that can indulge their sloth.
It was ever thus.

What an ugly thing to say.

FeliciaFancybottom · 27/11/2025 15:24

Why on earth did you ask where his wife works because she hates eggs? Now, that's confusing.

Cucy · 26/11/2025 23:18

I think it’s fine to ask where his wife works.

He is probably just embarrassed to say she is unemployed and they’re likely trying for a baby.

This conversation would have come up sooner or later and so it’s good to know that she doesn’t work incase there are any conversations about it in the future.

CareerChange24 · 26/11/2025 22:53

It’s not your place to have “considered” anything. They don’t owe you an explanation. You are judgey, think too highly of yourself and need to mind your own business.

Whattosay1 · 26/11/2025 22:34

AgentPidge · 26/11/2025 22:33

It does seem a bit odd to ask, in your very first conversation with him, where his wife works. I wouldn't have asked that, and just agreed that it was great he can get eggs in the canteen.

Yeah maybe…it just felt ok to ask. Maybe not then…

OP posts:
AgentPidge · 26/11/2025 22:33

It does seem a bit odd to ask, in your very first conversation with him, where his wife works. I wouldn't have asked that, and just agreed that it was great he can get eggs in the canteen.

ACatNamedRobin · 26/11/2025 22:27

Some people are lazy.
And some of those have others that can indulge their sloth.
It was ever thus.

Whattosay1 · 26/11/2025 22:26

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 26/11/2025 22:25

I literally would just have said ‘lovely’ and given it no further thought. I assume you hate your job?

No I love my job, what’s that got to do with anything.
I never considered fertility treatments…thank you all.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 26/11/2025 22:26

RoundandSad · 26/11/2025 21:43

Perhaps he's embarrassed to say she doesn't work because people are very judgy about that now

That would be my assumption. You put him on the spot and he just came out with any old shite - I probably would have said something stupid in his position!

Makingpeace · 26/11/2025 22:26

Ohthatsabitshit · 26/11/2025 21:44

Presumably fertility treatment.

Yeah that's my guess.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 26/11/2025 22:25

I literally would just have said ‘lovely’ and given it no further thought. I assume you hate your job?