Counselling was a disaster-so now I should just try amd shove it all back in a box

In my experience, having sought counselling for a traumatic past also, i found that for me, it took time to thoroughly work through all my trauma and throughout the process, it seemed unsurmountable and very triggering (even painful) to the extent i did question if counselling was right for me. Luckily, i perservered and worked through most of my tauma and life is so much better for it. It took me a year and a half (counselling 1 hour per week) but i got there. My advice is not to rush it. Make sure you bring into sessions little bits at a time so you aren't leaving sessions feeling overwhelmed or triggered too heavily and to space out sessions. The counselling process is challenging, its difficult, its painful and at times overwhelming but at the same time it is (in my experience with the correct counsellor and approach) life changing. To find happiness, contentment and peace was something i didnt ever think i would find.

Youve opened up the part of the brain where it trauma dumps. But in order to process, you have to remember and feel.

I would say, given your physical symptoms, it is EMDR she is referring too. Ive had it several times and would recommend it to anyone with trauma memories. I now have to reach for those memories, but my body doesn't react like it did and the memory is hazy.

Processing trauma is tough, you clearly made the decision to deal with it for your own reasons, maybe nightmares etc. Like everything shit.....you need to go down before you can come back up. But it is worth it. Good luck x

Therapy generally makes things worse before they get better, in my case I just kept powering through and there was a point where I came out the other side. It's about facing and then processing the past trauma which for you is obviously even more traumatic than the trauma itself. If it's possible try and carry on because it doesn't really go back in the box once it's been opened. Take care x

I think you need to persevere but at your own pace. I went through an awful experience with my ex. When it came to a head I physically shook all over, from about ten am until after 6 pm. I could not discuss him without physically shaking. That was over a year ago. It’s left me unable to eat. I’m booked in, on a waiting list, for more counselling. Be kind to yourself. It’s all about healing. I really wish you well.

well if you want to process your difficult childhood then you have to be able to face it in the here and now - else nothing is going to change .
it’s a shame you couldn’t stick with the process - sounds like it could’ve benefitted you .