Don't want to go to a party or any other social gathering for that matter.What to say ?

Would you actually say to someone "thanks but I don't fancy coming? I think that would be so rude!

You're not antisocial, you're unsociable. Antisocial is pissing in someone's kettle. Unsociable is not wanting to be around people.

And that's fine. I am unsociable. Politely decline if you really don't want to go. For me I'd go to it as it's in the afternoon and I can be home for late afternoon or early evening (or earlier depending on how much I'm enjoying it) If it was in the evening I'd say no thanks as I hate going out on an evening.

I’ve spent my life making excuses to avoid social events (I have very severe social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder) but recently I have just started being honest as folk are so keen to talk about their MH issues these days. I just say thanks very much for thinking of me but I really don’t enjoy social occasions.
It seems to get a better reaction thsn excuses which can make me appear rude or standoffish

Just say no thanks, I don't really enjoy parties but hope you have fun. Polite but honest.

Yes, I have given up on friends who never want to go anywhere- even one to one- and made new friends. I guess everyone's happier!

I think it comes down to how much you value your relationships with the people who invite you to these things. You're free to decline as much as you want but you have to accept that other people might give up on you. Only you know how you feel about that.

I’m getting old and antisocial too. But actually, I’m your girl for coffee, lunch, afternoon tea or, say, an afternoon party/barbie. What I utterly hate is going out in the evening!😖

I guess we are all different. After a lifetime of parenting and working, I think this is now my time to enjoy non-family ties. I go out 3 times a week, with friends or on my own.

I feel exactly the same, age 56 and I’m not interested in going out at all!
Unless its to do with my family, DH and DC then I’m not interested. I use the excuse that our DD needs a lift somewhere, shes 15 so I taxi her around.
I have 3 close friends and I go out occasionally with them,
I need to relax after being at work all week, quite happy “hurkle durkling” all day long.

I'll be the one to invoke the MN maxim:

"It's an invitation, not a summons".

Politely decline and forget about it. No one is owed an explanation.

Oh no I feel your pain. Fancy dress would be a flat "sorry but no" from me. Why do people do such things 🤣

I agree, decline politely without reason. People are never as bothered about your presence as you think they might be.

I do think it's worth examining why you feel like this. I also think it's a slippery slope to becoming a bit of a hermit, so I think its worth making the effort sometimes. If you don't like large groups you could arrange to meet these people separately in small groups for a morning coffee on a weekend maybe? Organise something on your terms, but I don't think you should close the door to everything or you might regret it.

As I've got older I've realised I only went to parties/gatherings because everyone else did.
Im quite open about my dislike though. I've found once you open up you'll find a LOT of people don't actually enjoy them but just don't admit it to themselves.

You're not unreasonable to say no thanks, you can't go. But you say I have been invited to a party on Sunday afternoon. The thought of having my weekend spoilt is really stressing me out. That seems a little extreme when you could just say no. And then: Lots of people are going and are looking forward to it. What is wrong with me , why don't I want to go ? It's fine that a lot of people would love this party and you know you wouldn't; if that's the case then just say no. If you're worried that you might be missing something by not going, could you go to the party for a little bit and leave if you feel uncomfortable?

Your happy with steady maybe slower pace of life what’s wrong with that? It’s only the thought of what other people think that’s gonna bother or worry you so block that out.

Do you think you’ll have a nice time one you get there, even though you dread it in advance? Or is it otherwise worth it to keep a friendship/friendships going that you might value more once life calms down a bit? I’ve turned down a couple of things recently because I’d rather do something quiet with a couple of close friends, or enjoy a peaceful run up to Christmas, so I do get it, but in the long run do you think you’ll have a might regret not investing a little in friendships? Just a thought, there really is no right or wrong

I feel the same about large gatherings in my 50's. Much prefer seeing friends individually. Had a lovely lunch and walk with a friend today.
Have a 'gathering' at the weekend which I'm not looking forward to, but it's work related and will benefit me so I need to go and actually I had a nice time last time so..
For me I just can't concentrate when too many people are talking at once or there's too much noise and it hurts my brain!

You don't have to give a reason (thanks for invite, I can't make it but hope you all have a great time!)

You can just say "I dont want to" but something like the one above will go down better

Why lie? I invited a neighbour to a BBQ once and he said no thank you, not my thing but asked if I'd pop a burger through his window. The honesty was refreshing. Another friend of mine has made it perfectly clear that she's happy to have a coffee catch up once in a while but she doesn't enjoy parties and like you likes to have quiet weekends with her husband. Doesn't bother me, I still invite her to things and she says no thank you. There is nothing wrong with you, just be yourself and be honest.

And if you really can't be honest just say you can't make it. Don't lie about being ill or anything, people will see right through it.

You just decline politely, no need to explain. Just “sorry, I won’t be able to make it on Sunday, hope you have fun”

If they demand an explanation, they’re rude.

You just politely decline. Nobody needs or wants a reason for your non attendance. I'm sure they'll be fine without you.

I voted YABU

Because how hard is it to say "Ahh thanks, but I don't fancy it this weekend".

Or if you really must tell lies, "Ahh thanks, but I'm busy this weekend".

I just spotted you have 5 kids and work full time? That may be the reason.

"Thank you very much, but I won't be able to attend. I hope you all have a lovely time".
Never apologise, never explain.

And enjoy your quiet afternoon at home!