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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to stay at this family members house again bevmcause she doesn't change the sheets between guests?

183 replies

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 26/11/2025 17:11

I've just been to stay for 4 nights and was told that sheets aren't changed between guests. Told "'it was only X who stayed in them and she's family so I don't see the problem". I said I wasn't comfortable with it and was laughed at and told I was being snobbish/ precious. It wasn't in a nasty way but clearly whatever I say the sheets won't get changed as "they aren't dirty".

Then I was told not to strip the bed because Y is coming to stay next week then Z is coming for Christmas.

I honestly find it pretty revolting and don't want to stay again. My husband says it's fine, he's not bothered, but I know it's just because he doesn't want to cause offence . I really would rather pay to stay in a hotel.

So am I being precious?

OP posts:
Tintackedsea · 27/11/2025 13:42

My sil is like this. The towels also. I HATE staying at her house. It’s disgusting.

shhblackbag · 27/11/2025 12:57

Yes, why is upsetting you not a problem? Infuriating.

MimiGC · 27/11/2025 12:57

I wouldn’t be remotely bothered to sleep in my parents’ spare bed if my sister had spent the night in it the week before and the sheets hadn’t been changed. If she’d slept in it for a fortnight, or it was a stranger, and the sheets hadn’t been changed, that’s different.

itsthetea · 27/11/2025 12:47

But clearly he is ok with upsetting you!

mindutopia · 27/11/2025 12:42

This would be Dh if I didn’t make him clean the spare room and wash the sheets between guests. It’s grim.

It’s a painful experience, and it takes me about 4 days of nagging and prodding (he’s the only one who ever invites people to stay, I invite no one because I don’t want them here 😂)…but eventually I manage to get him to strip the bed and wash the sheets. Just in time to hand them off in a pile to whoever is staying as they head upstairs so that they have to go make their own bed in order to sleep. 🙈 It drives me nuts, but at least it’s clean.

He thinks no one cares because he wouldn’t care. But I’m like, no, people don’t want to sleep in dirty sheets. 😩

Original poster
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 12:37

shhblackbag · 27/11/2025 10:35

Your DH is a wet lettuce, btw. You're not wrong and he's an arse for making you feel bad.

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Yes, he is a wet lettuce in that respect. Every argument we've ever had has been about him not backing me up. He just wants to keep the peace, doesn't want to offend or upset anyone.

I don't want to offend either but I think next time I'll either offer to bring my own and say it's 'helping' or just take my own. Trouble is she puts a hot water bottle in our bed so would see the sheets!

OP posts:
shhblackbag · 27/11/2025 10:35

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 10:26

I really did want to know if I'm being unreasonable. I was made to feel bad for expecting clean sheets and laughed at for not wanting to sleep in someone else's!

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Your DH is a wet lettuce, btw. You're not wrong and he's an arse for making you feel bad.

Original poster
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 10:26

WalkDontWalk · 27/11/2025 10:16

This is really exciting. It's possible that bed linen threads are on the verge of becoming more frequent than cat hating threads. I'm on the edge of my seat. Partly because the cat is asleep right behind me.

I really did want to know if I'm being unreasonable. I was made to feel bad for expecting clean sheets and laughed at for not wanting to sleep in someone else's!

OP posts:
WalkDontWalk · 27/11/2025 10:16

This is really exciting. It's possible that bed linen threads are on the verge of becoming more frequent than cat hating threads. I'm on the edge of my seat. Partly because the cat is asleep right behind me.

itsthetea · 27/11/2025 10:14

I would always change the sheets !

If It’s likely to be DD back again and it was only a couple of nights I would leave them , but if mum was coming they would be washed

and this fro. a person who fails most MN cleanliness tests - clean sheets every week? No. Shower every day ? No. Clean sheets for guests - always

StewkeyBlue · 27/11/2025 10:13

Nope, big yuk.

I would just take my own sheets in future.

We generally do that in my family anyway as we are always staying in each others houses and it’s a lot of work for the hosts.

MotherofPufflings · 27/11/2025 10:08

My mum does this. Maybe not multiple guests, but will definitely put two different sets of guests on the same bedding if they're only staying a night or two. She won't accept that it's a revolting practice. I rarely stay anymore, although this is only one reason. My friend reckons that it's her way of stopping people from having sex under her roof, because she always tells you that someone else will be using the sheets IYSWIM. I'm not sure about this theory, but my mum is very weird about sex so I'm not ruling it out!

She absolutely insists on taking her own bedding when she's a guest elsewhere, another weird habit!

PashaMinaMio · 27/11/2025 09:55

I take my own bedding and a bath sheet when I sleep elsewhere in the UK other than in a hotel etc.

If nothing else, a change of pillowslips is more pleasant because if the person before me has dribbled, is a smoker or has used the pillow in ways unnecessary to mention here, I like the reassurance of the way my own linen smells!

I just tell my hostess that I’m saving her washing. They never complain.

Original poster
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 09:51

Redpeach · 27/11/2025 09:28

To be fair there's quite alot of nasty comments in this thread

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Are there? I haven't seen any, apart from that one.

OP posts:
Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 27/11/2025 09:45

Ewww, you are absolutely NOT being precious 🤑

HopSpringsEternal · 27/11/2025 09:43

The only time I haven't minded this is when I've switched beds with my own children. Given that at the time, they regularly slept in the same bed as me it wasn't that big a deal.

I once went to go and help a friend who had just had twins (alongside 2 under 4s) her parents in law had been in the bed.The night before for 1 night.And I cannot describe the smell of the sheets as they were both smokers.

Obviously my friend was absolutely exhausted and in no state to change the bed.So I just asked her husband for where the laundry stuff was.And did it myself. I have never forgotten that and always made sure.I've changed sheets.

shhblackbag · 27/11/2025 09:39

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 27/11/2025 07:41

I stayed overnight with a friend to save getting a taxi home after a night out. I asked what fabric softener she used as it the bedding smelled like aftershave. She said her teenage nephew (who I've never met) had stayed and he literally covers himself in Lynx as he's at that sweaty boy stage.

I felt grim. I've never stopped there again as I prefer to pay for a taxi home.

Just eww! How do people think this is OK?

Redpeach · 27/11/2025 09:28

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 09:17

There's always one isn't there? I said nothing about why we were there, you have no idea and yet you can't resist a nasty little comment. I expect you think it makes you big and clever.

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To be fair there's quite alot of nasty comments in this thread

ContinuewithGoogle · 27/11/2025 09:26

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 09:17

There's always one isn't there? I said nothing about why we were there, you have no idea and yet you can't resist a nasty little comment. I expect you think it makes you big and clever.

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I wouldn't worry too much, same kind of posters will be deeply offended if possible guests decided to stay in a hotel 😂

Some people are bitter and lonely, what can you do

Original poster
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 09:17

cityanalyst678 · 27/11/2025 04:35

My first thought was crikey, why would you dump yourself on someone for 4 nights? Maybe she is trying to put you off….

There's always one isn't there? I said nothing about why we were there, you have no idea and yet you can't resist a nasty little comment. I expect you think it makes you big and clever.

OP posts:
Wheech · 27/11/2025 09:02

Fresh bedding and towels for each guest, both are non negotiable. I know it's a pain after a bed has been slept in once but it's just part of having guests.

opencecilgee · 27/11/2025 08:58

It’s like wearing someone else’s dirty clothes. I wouldn’t like it

opencecilgee · 27/11/2025 08:57

Is it your husband’s parents?

I wouldn’t want to go or if that’s really impossible i take my own bed linen

CheeseIsMyIdol · 27/11/2025 08:54

Notthehill · 27/11/2025 06:16

Always, always change sheets for visitors over age of 21 18. However, am a bit less fastidious when it's DC's teenage or student friends.

Why?!

Ohpleeeease · 27/11/2025 08:26

I wouldn’t like it either but I also wouldn’t want to put someone to more trouble if changing the beds was an issue for them. I would either stay in a hotel or bring my own bedding, make up the bed and change it back when I left. This won’t be the only thing they’re not that fastidious about, so hotel would be my preferred choice.