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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to stay at this family members house again bevmcause she doesn't change the sheets between guests?

183 replies

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 26/11/2025 17:11

I've just been to stay for 4 nights and was told that sheets aren't changed between guests. Told "'it was only X who stayed in them and she's family so I don't see the problem". I said I wasn't comfortable with it and was laughed at and told I was being snobbish/ precious. It wasn't in a nasty way but clearly whatever I say the sheets won't get changed as "they aren't dirty".

Then I was told not to strip the bed because Y is coming to stay next week then Z is coming for Christmas.

I honestly find it pretty revolting and don't want to stay again. My husband says it's fine, he's not bothered, but I know it's just because he doesn't want to cause offence . I really would rather pay to stay in a hotel.

So am I being precious?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 16:54

cityanalyst678 · 27/11/2025 16:33

oh and there was me thinking you were trying to encourage nasty comments about your relative. Don’t normal people keep that sort of things to themselves? If your relative was kind enough to put you up, then perhaps be kind back

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No, I asked if I was unreasonable to object to not having clean sheets and not be laughed at for finding it disgusting.. I certainly didn't ask for nasty comments. Your comprehension skills are maybe lacking there. Where did I say I'd imposed myself?

But you clearly come here looking for an argument. It's not compulsory on AIBU though.

OP posts:
cityanalyst678 · 27/11/2025 16:33

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 09:17

There's always one isn't there? I said nothing about why we were there, you have no idea and yet you can't resist a nasty little comment. I expect you think it makes you big and clever.

Show quote history

oh and there was me thinking you were trying to encourage nasty comments about your relative. Don’t normal people keep that sort of things to themselves? If your relative was kind enough to put you up, then perhaps be kind back

Skybluepinky · 27/11/2025 15:28

Take your own sheets.

dms1 · 27/11/2025 15:23

YANBU. That is utterly gross.

IdaGlossop · 27/11/2025 15:22

I wouldn't like this at all but I would be very English about it, saying nothing, and take a sleeping bag next time.

FlatErica · 27/11/2025 15:18

That is grim. I caught crabs off my sister that way once.

HonestBrickQuoter · 27/11/2025 15:18

YANBU.
I'd bring my own sheets.

Poodleville · 27/11/2025 15:12

Ew. Yanbu. She was so flippant about it with you that I don't think you need to worry about offending her bu bringing your own sheets in future. You can be flippant back!

Superfoodcrisps · 27/11/2025 15:06

I think that is pretty grim.

If I am travelling by car and staying at someone's house I tend to take my own sheets anyway to save them washing sheets after just 1 or 2 nights. Under these circumstances I would definitely take my own sheets/pillowcases!

familyissues12345 · 27/11/2025 15:06

Ugh!!

Grammarninja · 27/11/2025 15:04

Pretty grim. I'd bring a sleeping bag and pillow case with me next time.

Gorgeousred · 27/11/2025 15:03

That makes me want to throw up. I wouldn't stay there again, or if you have to, take a complete set of your own bedding, including duvet. And your own towels.

CheeseIsMyIdol · 27/11/2025 14:56

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 26/11/2025 17:11

I've just been to stay for 4 nights and was told that sheets aren't changed between guests. Told "'it was only X who stayed in them and she's family so I don't see the problem". I said I wasn't comfortable with it and was laughed at and told I was being snobbish/ precious. It wasn't in a nasty way but clearly whatever I say the sheets won't get changed as "they aren't dirty".

Then I was told not to strip the bed because Y is coming to stay next week then Z is coming for Christmas.

I honestly find it pretty revolting and don't want to stay again. My husband says it's fine, he's not bothered, but I know it's just because he doesn't want to cause offence . I really would rather pay to stay in a hotel.

So am I being precious?

Let him stay there while you get a hotel.

They literally laughed at you. Why would you continue to suffer in order to appease them?

His failure to back you up is approaching dealbreaker… he puts you last. Think about it.

Catpiece · 27/11/2025 14:54

Redpeach · 27/11/2025 14:43

What a horrible post

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Why? It’s only what everyone else is thinking

Catpiece · 27/11/2025 14:53

Redrosesposies · 27/11/2025 14:43

I cannot imagine anything worse than staying over at someone else's house or having anyone stay at mine. Clean sheets or not. It ain't happening.

I’m the same. I know someone who is always at other people’s houses staying overnight for days on end. Just no.

Redpeach · 27/11/2025 14:43

Catpiece · 27/11/2025 14:42

🤮 Gross. Sod that. Dirty fucker x

What a horrible post

Redrosesposies · 27/11/2025 14:43

I cannot imagine anything worse than staying over at someone else's house or having anyone stay at mine. Clean sheets or not. It ain't happening.

Catpiece · 27/11/2025 14:42

🤮 Gross. Sod that. Dirty fucker x

Redpeach · 27/11/2025 14:38

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 09:51

Are there? I haven't seen any, apart from that one.

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So the family member you are complaining about wouldnt find offence at any of these comments and emojis?

LakieLady · 27/11/2025 14:38

My standards are generally pretty low and even I think that's grim!

I'd hate it and it would put me off staying again, so YANBU.

HRTQueen · 27/11/2025 14:35

Depends if previous guests had stayed over a week I assume the sheets had been changed but a few days I would have thought they would be ok

Unless those sleeping in the bed before are very slobby

Original poster
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 27/11/2025 14:34

itsthetea · 27/11/2025 12:47

But clearly he is ok with upsetting you!

Absolutely! This is how our arguments go. I think he sees me kind of like an extension of himself, so everyone else's feelings come first.

OP posts:
Barneysmomma · 27/11/2025 14:29

When I was about 15 I stayed at my cousin's house for a few nights - her daughter is my age. The bed sheets had clearly not been changed as there was menstrual blood on them. I was too scared to say anything so they probably thought it was mine! Never told my parents and I was never invited again. It was grim.
Needless to say all guests have clean sheets & fresh towels in our house!

MincePudding · 27/11/2025 13:48

Yuck..

I'd work around the argument by bringing my own sheets and stripping the bed. I'd then make a point of asking your host whether she wants you to put them back on or whether she wants to wash them before the next set.

Top tip: don't tell your husband though. Surprise him. Or else he will whinge about being polite because he doesn't have a spine.

Jugendstiel · 27/11/2025 13:44

You are not precious, but I would just bring my own bedding rather than never stay there again.

I have a family member who has the lowest housekeeping standards of anyone I know and even they always put clean sheets on every bed when people come to stay.