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AIBU?

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Original poster

Christmas as a single mum

31 replies

Tucedocat · 26/11/2025 13:19

My 8 year old DD said to me the other day that her dad cares more about birthdays than I do as he gets her more presents. I have a good job and earn around £3000 pm, I’m in the north west. It makes me feel like such a failure as obviously the same will happen at Christmas. By the time my bills have gone out/food etc/activities I just can’t do the things that I used to do when we were together.

OP posts:
Needlenardlenoo · 26/11/2025 13:25

If you bear more of the cost of raising her, then explain that, in age appropriate terms. Show her your outline budget. See what you'd have to cut out to spend more on gifts.

Could be a useful life lesson depending on her maturity. You don't have to explain that non resident parents don't generally pay anything like 50%. The penny will drop eventually.

I do sometimes say to my very materialistic daughter: "Great! Looking forward to seeing what you've got me..."

Original poster
Tucedocat · 26/11/2025 13:25

We have been split just over a year

OP posts:
Original poster
Tucedocat · 26/11/2025 13:24

Nightlight8 · 26/11/2025 13:23

How long has it been just you and DD? You can do an experience day and explain that it's not all about money. Tell her she has a warm home and food on the table. Does her dad pay CMS?

Yes her dad pays CMS. Sorry I have 2 children but didn’t mention my 5 year old as it doesn’t seem to bother him at all.

OP posts:
Nightlight8 · 26/11/2025 13:23

How long has it been just you and DD? You can do an experience day and explain that it's not all about money. Tell her she has a warm home and food on the table. Does her dad pay CMS?

Original poster
Tucedocat · 26/11/2025 13:23

I cried to my parents the other day about what she said but they said she maybe has had too much and it will Make her a better person when she is older

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 26/11/2025 13:20

You gives her the short reply of the number of presents doesnt equal how much you care about something. Then give examples.

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