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Original poster

Poor life planning..

369 replies

pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 12:01

With the upcoming budget seen many "poor me" posts, particularly from high/middle earners. I find it frustrating that rather than blame themselves for thier life (& financial planning) choices, they blame some arbitrary government policy changes, such as upcoming introduction of new council tax bands.

Example: Sister & hubby earn £14k net p/m. But their choice to buy a nearly £x.xm house in SE & send DCs to private school means they have £3k (approx) to spend on everything else. They could have taken different choices...£1m houses &/or move to grammar school areas.

Clearly this is an extreme example, but I really don't understand why a family can't survive on £4-6k p/m, especially outside of London. Up until recently, I survived on much less and managed to put myself a firmer financial footing in 40s.

Sure this means some sacrifices, but it seems everyone wants to 'have their cake and eat it'.

OP posts:
Themagicfarawaytreeismyfav · 26/11/2025 13:27

randomchap · 26/11/2025 13:23

It's very much from the benefit bashing misinformation stable

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Not true at all! I have a relative who is on benefits including universal credit and PIP( for very exaggerated illness) and they have been on holiday 3 times this year! They are constantly spending money on clothes etc! I actually know quite a few who are also like this but this person i absolutely know their circumstances. They happily admit that they will never work because they couldn’t earn what they get given in benefits!

Original poster
pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 13:26

HermioneWeasley · 26/11/2025 13:03

Christ, the sense of entitlement to other people’s money is unbelievable.

its not “having their cake and eating it” it’s people wanting to keep the cake they’ve earned through hard work and not be forced to give it away to people who aren’t working.

30% of tax revenue is spent on social services, of which the biggest recipients are pensions, UC and disabled people.

OP posts:
Benjithedog · 26/11/2025 13:26

Stillpoor · 26/11/2025 12:51

Anyone has the right to have an opinion.

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If it’s tax related only those who actually pay it should have an opinion

GentleOlive · 26/11/2025 13:26

pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 12:58

We have a stagnating economy, made worse by brexit, with majority of tax receipts coming from financial services. The idea of growth leading to wealth creation is a myth in our current political environment.

I want uncomfortable to acknowledge that they are uncomfortable due to their personal choices in many cases.

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Sorry, it’s coming across as though they made better life choices than you and you begrudge them their lifestyle and wealth.

randomchap · 26/11/2025 13:23

pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 13:22

Funny how people on benefit can easily afford holidays abroad

This isn't strictly true is it?

It's very much from the benefit bashing misinformation stable

Original poster
pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 13:22

Funny how people on benefit can easily afford holidays abroad

This isn't strictly true is it?

OP posts:
Original poster
pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 13:17

ContinuewithGoogle · 26/11/2025 12:55

Sure this means some sacrifices, but it seems everyone wants to 'have their cake and eat it'.

clearly when they had a much higher paid job than you did, and more spending power, they made the opposite of poor life planning! Better house and a better school, and a job to finance their choice. That couldn't be better life planning than they did - now life planning means a lot of people will be moving. Already a lot have gone away because of Brexit.

you'll find it less amusing the day you finally realise what that loss of skills, loss of earning, loss of taxes that went with it actually means for you.

One person makes no difference, but it's not just one person is it.

As outlined in my OP the issue is that they have less disposable income due to conscious choices they make. This is fine if it's a active choice, but then being surprised /angry at marginal external factors (such as £1k increase in council tax), which should have a minimal impact on thier finances, but is amplified..again due to thier choices.

OP posts:
randomchap · 26/11/2025 13:16

HermioneWeasley · 26/11/2025 13:03

Christ, the sense of entitlement to other people’s money is unbelievable.

its not “having their cake and eating it” it’s people wanting to keep the cake they’ve earned through hard work and not be forced to give it away to people who aren’t working.

The vast majority of benefits to working age people go to people in work...

myglowupera · 26/11/2025 13:11

I agree with you @pocketpairs. People are quick to call those with little money for not living within their means.
But all high earners get are excuses made for them and sympathy when they’ve clearly not lived within their means. You can’t have everything, no matter how important you think you are.

Themagicfarawaytreeismyfav · 26/11/2025 13:09

HermioneWeasley · 26/11/2025 13:03

Christ, the sense of entitlement to other people’s money is unbelievable.

its not “having their cake and eating it” it’s people wanting to keep the cake they’ve earned through hard work and not be forced to give it away to people who aren’t working.

Absolutely this!

Original poster
pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 13:09

Didimum · 26/11/2025 12:51

I don't think the majority of people "moaning" (worried is probably the more accurate term) about it are people in £x.xm houses with kids in private school – that's probably about 2% of the population. Most of the kids in private schools are incredibly wealthy – those aren't the people coming on Mumsnet to complain.

You can still be a high/middle earner and have very legitimate worries without having planned poorly. I'll be very transparent and list some of mine – which have very little to do with having 'planned poorly':

– the main one for most, childcare costs. For a great many people over £2k a month, more if you aren't eligible for funding. I had twins, so the double whammy on everything all in one pop can be very difficult to manage
– mortgage increasing. Whether or not your mortgage debt is poorly planned or not, due to the house you selected, everyone has been subject to very sharp interest increases.
– I have a vulnerable mother who requires financial assistance, lest I see her freeze or starve to death, or even just basically have a very poor quality of life. Yes, it's my choice, but it's certainly not a poor one.
– I also choose to assist my sister financially. Her husband ran off with another woman, leaving her with mortgage and two young kids. Again, yes, it's my choice, and again, not a poor one.
– Home repairs, we recently had a very unlucky run of them which depleted a great deal of savings
– Redundancy. DH and I were both put up for redundancy at the same time this year. It was horrendously stressful. We both made it through but our jobs (and sectors in general) are under continual threat. It seems many people forget that high earning jobs are more at risk of redundancy and also harder to get if you are made redundant.

I also massively agree with the previous poster. People get higher paying jobs because they want to enjoy spending their money. Why do you think people want more money? So they can enjoy their life to a higher degree.

What would YOU do, personally, OP, if you brought home £10k net a month? What do you wish for in your life?

Edited

Many of the things you listed are out of your control, and many are to be applauded.

To answer you questions.

  • Try to live within my means. While we didn't anticipate covid, the direction of medium term interest rate was only going to be one way.
  • Live in a comfortable house in the best area possible, but not to the extent that it impacts my quality of life - it's just a house
  • Although private school typically have better facilities and pastoral care, they are only marginally better than grammar schools. Plus in reality just means DCs will just end up doing same job type as you..
OP posts:
Themagicfarawaytreeismyfav · 26/11/2025 13:08

Im not even a high earner and it pisses me right off paying tax for all the lazy bastards who don’t want to work and breed like rabbits! Yes i know some people can’t work but that number is far fewer in real life than on mumsnet! Why should people be punished for working hard and doing well in life? While those who can’t be bothered get rewarded?

WithDiamonds · 26/11/2025 13:07

Some people are not in to redistribution of wealth as much as others so they do resent their tax bills.

If you could choose exactly what your taxes went on what would you choose?

There are some personal choices but many more are made for us.

If someone has managed to reach the absolute top % income bracket and seems like your relatives are PAYE, fair play to them.

ContinuewithGoogle · 26/11/2025 13:06

And out of curiosity, if the higher-than you earner didn't make "poor life planning" choices and stuck with properties in your price-range. Where would YOU live then? 😂

HermioneWeasley · 26/11/2025 13:03

Christ, the sense of entitlement to other people’s money is unbelievable.

its not “having their cake and eating it” it’s people wanting to keep the cake they’ve earned through hard work and not be forced to give it away to people who aren’t working.

MiddleAgedDread · 26/11/2025 13:02

I think you probably need to be realistic about what running a family on £4-6k a month looks like if you're in your 30's/early 40's and got a mortgage and childcare costs! It's definitely not a life of luxury at the lower end of that scale unless you live in a part of the country that has very cheap housing.

AmberRose86 · 26/11/2025 13:00

Yeah ok. Poor life choices. Same as those who chose to fuck about instead of working hard and getting decent qualifications etc made poor life choices and now can’t earn their way out of a paper bag.

But we can’t say that, can we? Oh no, those people are just unlucky and it all just happened to them.

Beddiem · 26/11/2025 12:59

We are supposed to have steady tax policies to allow people to budget and plan properly, but every budget that comes, the government looks to take more tax from high earners. All I ask is that the government defines how much they think is reasonable for me to pay in tax and to make some effort to stick with that. Is it too much to ask?

ContinuewithGoogle · 26/11/2025 12:58

pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 12:52

Agree that everyone has different choices, and sometimes those choices are outside of our control (jobs, elderly parents, etc). But for many they have control of the choices they make.

In the example I used, if you complaining about not being able to afford an annual holiday abroad while paying a £5k+ mortgage and £55k+ school fees then the govt adding (say £1k to council tax) isn't the real issues right..

Show quote history

The issue is being a high earner, wasting a ridiculous amount of your income on tax and not being able to enjoy your income. They work for their money dont' they. They're not exactly subsidised by the tax payer.

It's not luxury to pay for a house/ school and a holiday!

Funny how people on benefit can easily afford holidays abroad.

Original poster
pocketpairs · 26/11/2025 12:58

GentleOlive · 26/11/2025 12:47

You sound like you want comfortable people to be uncomfortable rather than demanding better wealth creation chances for all.

It sums up what’s wrong with this country and why the rich are emigrating, leaving the envious to fight over scraps.

We have a stagnating economy, made worse by brexit, with majority of tax receipts coming from financial services. The idea of growth leading to wealth creation is a myth in our current political environment.

I want uncomfortable to acknowledge that they are uncomfortable due to their personal choices in many cases.

OP posts:
MidnightPatrol · 26/11/2025 12:58

I think the problem is that people expect X lifestyle on Y income - and for a long time, that was achievable.

A bit like @BoyFTM645, looking at eg how people my age grew up, the house, the school fees etc - probably a stay at home partner. All achievable on a professional wage, with plenty to spare.

In 2025… you are just nowhere near. Your quality of life looks nowhere like what you were expecting, so people complain.

It’s an issue for the UK if even the top couple of percentage of earners don’t feel well off. Particualrly given the reliance on them to fund everything..!

I think in London is particular the lifestyle people assume on £100-200k a year need more like £300-400k income.

Beddiem · 26/11/2025 12:56

itsthetea · 26/11/2025 12:28

No one has a right to anything beyond the most basic of food and a roof over their head, and I would say also an education and health care

no no one has a right to a posh house or nice holidays

yes people do think they deserve it but until everyone has the basics it’s a bit much to expect that you can have so much more, it’s a lot arrogant to assume you are worth so much more

This sounds very much like communism.

ContinuewithGoogle · 26/11/2025 12:55

Sure this means some sacrifices, but it seems everyone wants to 'have their cake and eat it'.

clearly when they had a much higher paid job than you did, and more spending power, they made the opposite of poor life planning! Better house and a better school, and a job to finance their choice. That couldn't be better life planning than they did - now life planning means a lot of people will be moving. Already a lot have gone away because of Brexit.

you'll find it less amusing the day you finally realise what that loss of skills, loss of earning, loss of taxes that went with it actually means for you.

One person makes no difference, but it's not just one person is it.

Stillpoor · 26/11/2025 12:54

BoyFTM645 · 26/11/2025 12:39

The problem with 100k+ salary is that you work insane hours to get it. I have worked 50-100 hours a week for the last 8 years of my career.

I work Christmas days, holidays, I even have to check my emails on a Sunday morning. I had no social life in my 20s. I can never go for a drink Monday - Friday. My friends are work friends only.

Our juniors are leaving because they don't have the hope that i did that they'll work like dogs but make partner at 40 anymore. So there is no point.

20 years ago a man in my job supported a SAHM wife and 2 kids in private schools and a house in zone 3.

I've just signed an offer for a job abroad. I'm handing in my notice and we're leaving the UK in March.

I wish you the best im thinking of leaving the uk tbh.

Jellybunny56 · 26/11/2025 12:54

I think it’s just one of those things really, nobody is ever going to be happy to be expected to pay more, that’s just life.