My husband being ill makes me want a divorce

You shouldn’t have to ask though. As parents you just do. Though he doesn’t clearly. And now he has the nerve to be in a mood with you? It is honestly laughable how some men behave. I hope you feel back to full health soon op

What was his reasoning about not helping when you and the dc were poorly?

My god fancy applying for a weeks AL just to hang around in bed all day when barely ill
I bet his work were pleased with him after a week off sick!

I've read all your posts but not the full thread, so I don't know if anyone else has posted this. It always makes me laugh and is so true!

Nope
if he was in hospital he’d be encouraged to get and move and get fresh air by now. Or risk DVT .

First, stop doing anything for him. Don’t cook for him. Do his washing.. take him drinks, listen to his moaning. Buy his medication or anything at all. Don’t even engage. Do black rock type act in terms of not responding or expressing any emotion, empathy or irritation with his palaver. Just pretend he’s not in the house. And carry on looking after you and kids only. I’d also sleep in another room if possible on basis he’s clewrly got a very nasty infection. And if sharing same bed then cuddles, sex etc is also off table as he’s clewrly still infectious and weak and need to conserve his strength

the isolation and irritations with not having you pander to him, will potentially wear him down till he decides to re engage in normal life. Don’t comment when it happens, just carry on.

seriously ignore him

and keep doing that every time he pulls a stunt like that again.

.

OP, it gets worse. Get out while you can.

Currently only one of them is keeping to those vows.

OP honestly make the fantasy a reality. I can’t bear that sort of drippy man. What would he be like if there was a serious illness in your family?

So he’s not refusing to see a doctor then? I think you’re in the wrong here. He felt too ill to work, the online doctor agreed. You taking one day off was your choice. I agree looking after the kids should be shared as much as possible but you should have said something sooner.

You say he’s hands-on but you also say he wasn’t up in the night with them. So he’s a bit shit normally!

And I think normally is the issue. Just to give the normal normal… DH is terrible when he’s sick. But if DD is sick he’s washing, laundering, caring, being fantastic. When I’m sick DD makes hot drinks, he fetches me blankets and does all the housework, encourages me to rest and take time, hands me things and is generally brilliant.

And then you don’t have fun, you aren’t affectionate and all that. And, this is a bad one, you feel a bit of contempt. While also facilitating this idiocy.

“DH I’m not fetching you egg and chips when there’s food made. If you’re too sick to get dinner, you need the doctor”. And DONE!

Doesn’t he work? He can’t self certify for longer then 7 days so he would have had to have seen a GP to stay in bed for 2 weeks.

Either way I think you are being a bit unreasonable to silently seethe for 2 weeks and it’s resulted in you blowing up at him.

I would have been a lot clearer of my expectations and reminded him we were all sick. If he said he was going back to bed I would have told the kids to sit in the bedroom with him. You instead juggled everything went and did the shopping and let him! Either he’s too sick to get up, in which case he needs medical help or he’s not and he needs to pull his weight.

I feel you OP. I had a seminal moment when married to a lazy arse who was “ill” in bed. It was when he called downstairs in a quavery voice “Can I have another mince pie?” 😂😂😂 I added it to the note on my phone titled 1000 Reasons to leave.

What a prick. He's trying to make sure you never ask anything of him again.

As the old saying goes - why the fuck are men.

Then you "thought" wrong. Imagine if you'd read all of OP's posts before commenting you'd have read hers, posted at 11:22 (over an hour earlier than yours), "No I work from home.".

Dropping dinners. Omfg.
My husband said not to bother with Christmas dinner, if I don't feel well (due to a period).
What a fucker. What disrespect to the OP.

I live on my own with my son and a lodger. I would like to live with someone in the hope they would help with jobs eg arrange a plumber or wait at home whilst new dishwasher is delivered etc. Basically useful when things break as I find these things a struggle on top of everything else.
So if I had someone who lived with me and did those things but was a pain when ill I could put up with it.
If they were like that when ill and also unhelpful the rest of the time then I would want a divorce as well.

So I would bring it up and say I do x when I’m ill and you do y which puts a lot of extra pressure on me.

So they are aware it’s been noted but then it’s up to you whether their presence is worth it or not.

That’s my take on it but bear in mind I’m divorced and live on my own so take with a pinch of salt!

Tell him that!!! Why the hell are you still pandering to his bullshit ????

This

I would tell him quite clearly to fuck off.

@Yoyomelon You only fantasise about divorcing him OP? I'd want to fecking kill him! YANBU and he's taking the piss. He has flu - just as you all did - he's not at death's door. He needs to take some appropriate OTC medication to reduce his symptoms, get himself showered and dressed and downstairs to help out - even if it's just watching the kids while you meet your work commitments.
How is his employer reacting to him taking two weeks off sick?