My husband being ill makes me want a divorce

My (late) DH was just the same. Although he would call my mum to come and take over when my children were small. It’s infuriating!

Oh and asking you to bring him food to his sickbed, while you are managing everything alone...like he is the sick King summoning his servant. I'd be fuming.

There was, years ago, a really funny thread on this. The OP talked about her dh ‘donning the dressing gown of doom’ and walking around in a pained manner with tiny T Rex arms. It was hilarious as it rang so true

My DH would never take to his bed ill like that, I have to talk him into having a day off work if he is sick. Your DH sound utterly pathetic. And selfish, he obviously doesn't think you deserve the same consideration as him when you have the exact same illness. I'd want to divorce him too.

And the hunched shuffle accompanied with the phrase 'i don't feel good'.
DW just tells me 'thers nithin wrang wi ye'
Said in Ne Scottish accent.

Not the norm here. 2 weeks?! He is royally taking the piss. I don't think I've ever taken more than two days in a row off work in my life (I'm mid 50s). Neither has dh.

My ex was like this.

you will note the important word as “ex”

I was with someone like this only for 6 years but omg he absolutely drove me to irritation it's like he loved being full of cold .moaning and groaning oh I'm not well constantly down my ear i understand how your feeling maybe tell him you don't see where your marriage is going you might as well go it alone sew what his reactions are.
I'm single now grown up kids my own house I'm.not against finding a happy relationship but the thought of 24/7 with someone in these situations I know I couldn't do it .

This.

I think it depends on the illness. Since having kids I now categories illness into "functioning" ones (head cold, cough, bunged up etc) and "non functioning" ones (body aches, fever, fatigue not improved by drugs).

If you've got the latter then it's fine to stay in bed until the fever improves. I'm a SAHM and if I get one of the non functioning ones and I can't get someone to look after the children, I tell my husband he needs to call in and take the day off work work because I physically can't look after the children, I'm that unwell.

My husband hardly ever gets properly ill but we did once both get the flu and he got it way worse than me. Plus I think COVID taught everyone that people can experience the same illness to a different severity. Having said that my husband pulls his weight so I wouldn't doubt any need he says he has to rest in bed.

Look at it as a sign of your strength and resilience. Or divorce him as well.

Karma, lets see what happens when your ill… you have enough time to write n here….

Why don't you ask for help when you're ill?

But yes, 2 weeks is a joke unless he's properly ill.

I wouldn't and couldn't stand for that. We've had a stomach bug in the house this week, got me and the young DC. DH juggled WFH and looking after us all. I do the same when he's out. Marriage is meant to be teamwork.

2 weeks is ridiculous and everyone on here knows it

OP, he's a selfish loser and you married him anyway.
Big .istake.
Long term the marriage is over.
You need to make a plan carefully and get through this period until you can divorce him.
He is a selfish arsehole and they don't change.
Mind yourself.
You are not a team.
You are the family workhorse.
Talk to your family and friends so you have support.
Ignore his sulking.

I don't get one thing, if OP WFH then surely there is already a childcare arrangement in place. So why could OP not take time off work to recover when she was sick? I assumed from the post that OP was SAHM which would have made more sense as its unrelentless and no one to take over unless a partner takes annual leave

Ha what a twat. Good luck for this evening OP! I would just tell him, calmly, everything you have told us, and see how he reacts.

This is the bit you need to focus on, why does he feel it's ok for him to take to his bed when ill and leave all the childcare to you, but when you are ill you still need to take care of the children. Ask him that.

Not to be too depressing OP, but seriously consider what he would be like if you ever had a truly serious illness like cancer. Is this a man that will have your back and support you through it? Or would he resent you, expect you to get on with things and cook dinner still?

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable but flu can make some people sicker than others so maybe he had it worse? Also depends on his job, working from home on a computer is physically not demanding so easier to work than being a plasterer for example! Hope you both feel better soon!

Yep you shouldn't have to ask. He holds down a job, I very much doubt he asks every time he does something there.

I think people are underestimating the 'slow creep' - normally when people reach this stage that's when they're realising how much they've been carrying. 'You should have said something earlier' normally misses the point that something has been said on multiple other occasions to little effect.