To ask childminder not to bring DS to playgroup

Thanks, but when I made that post more than two weeks ago there was very little awareness of how bad the current flu strain is and how widespread it was going to become so you are contributing to a different conversation...

Well with this awful flu going around, I would definitely be stopping any playgroups going forward, especially for a 15 month old!

I understand your point of view entirely. We are pulling our little one out of nursery from the 11th to avoid this scenario (she only goes in two days a week for full disclosure, and we are taking additional annual leave to accommodate), just because the nursery bugs are so hideous this time of year and we have had two Christmases where she has been terribly unwell. If your child is the only child then yes of course you can ask this.

Sounds like you've got a lovely childminder and that together you've made the right decision for your child. Ignore the posts about incubation periods because so much of the magic of Christmas for little children is built upon special events like playgroup parties with visits from Santa.

Just to point out that most viruses take about 3 days to incubate so if he did catch anything on the 19th it probably wouldn’t start until the 22nd so he would likely still be ill for Xmas.

YANBU if he’s the only child but he will miss out, I’d probably ask her not to take him in the week before Christmas (if he’s there).

If I were a childminder with this as a request, I’d be sincerely worried about staying in, being quite lonely but doing it none-the-less, then the child getting a cold and me getting the blame 😢

Yes, I think that's best.

I think we’re just going to have to agree to disagree so we don’t derail the OPs thread.

Wouldn't a childminder get into trouble with ofsted if they didn't take their children out for weeks?

Relatively recently as in my parents generation, my mum was born in 1960 and her and other children she went to school with just stayed at home with their mums until school started. She lived rurally without many other children around. It did them no harm. Regardless, not going to playgroup for a few weeks is not 'being raised without other children', and as you know perfectly well, will do a child no harm whatsoever. It's dishonest and silly to pretend otherwise.

I was toddler in the 80s and my Mum regularly took me to church toddler groups and I would play with sibiling and other children in the street. Raising children without other children has never been the norm in the UK.

I get where you’re coming from with Christmas coming up, but I would think it cheeky to ask and prob impossible if they look after other children. If you want that level of autonomy I think you need a Nanny (and even then groups can be part of their routine).
if i was the childminder I would be declining that request as I imagine groups like this are imperative for wellbeing for all.

Unless you live alone in a bubble you can catch germs from anywhere. It may reduce the risk but picking up up bugs is part of the natural process to build up immunity. I think yabu to use a time frame, probably the most fun and festive time of the year, just in case of sniffles for one day of the year. Xx

Absolutely.

Oh come on. Until relatively recently, children stayed at home with their mums until they started school, and they were just fine. There's nothing wrong with playgroups; they can be good fun for children, but we all know perfectly well that they aren't essential and are more for the benefit of the adults than the children, and that a child will not be disadvantaged in any way by not going to one for a few weeks. Pretending otherwise is just silly.

I am a childminder and as long as you’re happy for your childminder to say don’t bring your little one that day then of course you can ask. It also means you won’t be entitled to any refunds or your funding hours (assuming you’re in England and eligible) to be reoffered, you will forfeit them.

Colds are a fact of life, they happen no matter where we are, children will pass them between themselves at the setting too.

It is unfair to ask for the other children to miss out on the playgroup just for your child. If you want to minimise your child catching illnesses then you need to employ a nanny.

Parallel play is an important developmental stage.

Exactly this, some parents love to kid themselves that it’s for the child when the truth is it’s for them as it fills the day (which is fine but let’s not pretend a 15 month old will be harmed from missing playgroup).

I think you’re right. The reason some people’s kids are always ill is because they are being constantly exposed to new viruses before they had a chance to recover from the previous one. That doesn’t build the immune system, it weakens it, resulting in more sickness overall. The state some parents drag their children to playgroups is shocking. It’s like they can’t bear entertaining their own kids for a day even if they’re poorly.

15 month olds aren't even old enough for meaningful peer interaction, it's parallel play at that age. He'll be just fine missing playgroup for a few weeks.

To deny a toddler peer interaction for a month is unreasonable.

I think a lot of people feel it would take far too much effort to reduce the amount their children get ill. So they accuse other people of health anxiety, or insist that it's actually good for children to keep getting sick, to avoid feeling guilty.

You’ll get accused of health anxiety etc OP. Most people on mumsnet (and the UK tbh) get weird if, god forbid, you try to avoid getting sick. Im a SAHM and we tend to do much much less socialising with other kids in the winter months. People are selfish and bring they’re clearly unwell kids to playgroups etc and we don’t want to be constnatly ill. In fact we we usually only get one cold in winter despite people saying you can catch in anywhere. If title careful and wash your hands you can reduce the risk massively whereas there is no escaping a snotty toddler dribbling all over your child. You are not unreasonable at all to request she doesn’t take him to those things in the run up to Christmas. This time tends to be peak for infections too.