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AIBU?

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Original poster

Trying to be me

27 replies

Hubby2 · 26/11/2025 07:53

Never really been one to fit in. Acceptance is not what I'm really looking for, at least I don't think so. Hmmm don't know, overthinking...

So didn't know where to put this but though it may go in here ok.

Recently I have lost weight, went from a 34 waist to 28 in 3 months admittedly I have had compliments from people I know at work or not which have noticed which is nice.

However what I'm not particularly happy is a couple of women telling me that it's good iv lost weight but not to lose any more, I obviously didn't like the comment and also telling me that there's others concerned about me. Don't know whether to believe that because surely they would make themselves known.

All I'm doing is trying to feel comfortable in my own skin and I don't appreciate when someone tries to make a choice for me. I believe I can pick what's best for me because I'm happier but not completely yet.

I suppose last point I wanted to make is no one was worried when I put all that weight on.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 26/11/2025 08:06

You lost that weight very quickly and I imagine that could be why they're concerned. They may have noticed you skipping meals or picked up on what they feel is obsessive behaviour around your diet and exercise and are a bit worried about you. It suggests that they like and care about you, even if you don't feel you fit in! Take it as a sign that you perhaps fit in more than you think you do.

sesquipedalian · 26/11/2025 07:59

OP, people are concerned - slim is good but thin isn’t. I had a friend who died of heart failure as a result of anorexia - it really is serious. You say no-one was worried when you put on weight - what should they have done? You would have though them outrageously rude had they told you to cut back, or suggested you chose an apple instead of a doughnut - and while obesity may come with health issues, it’s not going to kill you in the way that anorexia can. People are trying to be kind, OP: you feel better about losing weight, and perhaps you are thinking that losing a bit more would be even better. These other people don’t want to see you go back to being overweight, but nor do they want you to imperil your health by getting too thin.