I’m coming to terms with the fact I’m really very ugly

I’m a 16/18 size and I go to the gym. I don’t feel huge although there are some really skinny people there. When I see larger people I just think ‘well done for trying to improve yourself’ Most peoplle are more bothered about scrolling through their phones than people watching.

Have you asked a hairdresser for advice on how to manage your hair. Is there a cut she could give you that would suit it better than hanging loose - layers can give you more body. Have you tried shampoos that thicken hair?

have you ever thought about voluntary work in your spare time? Helping others can give you a really good feeling and boost your self esteem

Many other people feel the same as you from time to time. Only you can make your life bettter little steps at a time,so trying some kind of therapy could set you in the right direction. See your GP as you could be suffering from depression

There is a way out of this OP, you just need to start the journey and maybe posting here is the first step. Good luck - let us know how you get on

Other posters are right, you need to go to therapy and work on your esteem. Even if you are ugly (which is subjective) plenty of ugly people find love. But finding love won’t solve your issues it would just add to them, if you met someone you would bring your insecurities into the relationship which isn’t healthy. Work on your mental health and learn to be ok as you, whether that’s single you or married you.

Qualifying for NHs braces is nothing to do with parents income. The NHS have a very strict criteria for NHS funded braces. The majority of people you see with braces will be self funded

You write beautifully, even though you have sadness. That means you will talk beautifully, you are a communicator. X

Firstly, congratulations on your weight loss. You may not feel like it but I 100% guarantee that you look significantly different now. You look, and I’m sure you feel, healthier.
Please work on your self esteem. It sounds like your issue isn’t actually about your appearance, it’s about your confidence and feelings of self worth. Most women are so critical of themselves regarding their appearance. OP, please believe me when I say this…… you are significantly more attractive than you think you are. You’re very young and you still have plenty of time to meet someone if that’s what you want. Please don’t write yourself off as an old spinster at 26! I didn’t have my first proper relationship until I was around your age so I do remember how upsetting it is, especially when you see your peers dating or settling down. Do not compare yourself with others. We’re all different and adult life doesn’t come with an instruction manual (unfortunately!). It’ll all fall into place in time, probably when you’re least expecting it.
All the best OP x

You might try counselling a life coach or faith to give You safe external support as your inner voice is beating You up! You might improve your self esteem by doing something you can feel proud of yourself for. Maybe volunteer for a local charity and meet new people and make social connrctions. It's your life and only you can decide that you want things to change. We have to try and find the positives in our circumstances, even if they are not apparent! (Speaking as someone who is disabled and housebound). Save up for a splurge haircut, a good hairdresser will be able to create a flattering style for your hair type.

You are very young and it’s sounds like you have really done so much in self improvement. Congratulations on weight loss it’s hard.

I would work on improving your mind, start picking up new interests join ramblers, find a yoga group for mindfulness and look to interests that can expand your mind. I always wished I had spent more time learning about art history as it come up in life more than expected. Listen to radio 4 as I have learned so much from it. it will improve conversation skills and confidence.

sort your teeth as a smile is important and if you aren't smiling you aren’t releasing natural endorphins which come with a smile and it will make you feel brilliant.

my hair is very poor so I wear wigs initially. Doe going out and now for life in general. I feel more confident now.

confidence is very attractive. People are drawn to confidence. If you don’t have it read some books on it and fake it, once you do that it will come naturally.

I would say most women have been through this stage in their lives, just don’t get stick there. We always see the worst in ourselves but people see the whole person.

Good luck with your journey

The bar for offering children orthodonture on the NHS is really high, for those who said OP's teeth weren't that bad. Teeth also move over the years, there are a lot of children being left with crooked teeth! It probably has a lot to do with the stereotype us Brits all have terrible teeth. Ironically you are probably better off being born with naturally terrible, misaligned teeth in this country, as they will sort it out for you for free. Those with regular crooked teeth are expected to simply grin (without showing teeth) and bear it. American parents would be horrified!

Straightening your teeth should be your priority (along with the gym), the benefits of straight teeth are innumerable. I think it's abhorrent that your parents have left you as an adult with crooked teeth and the consequential self-esteem issues. In my opinion, they owe it to you to contribute to your invisalign as an adult.

You absolutely should go to therapy. What if I told you this has nothing to do with the way you look op? Please go - it’s free of charge if you ask the GP. Six seasons with a therapist and tell them what you have said to us. You have chronically low self esteem and sound depressed.

From what I have read you are:

Fiercely Intelligent - anyone studying law always is

Self aware enough to know you were in the wrong career very early on, and had the confidence to switch early

Character and depth

Lost a huge amount of weight and can stick to goals and aims.

Articulate and well educated

Those qualities are extremely valuable op.

The reason you look the same even though you have lost a lot of weight is because you are still dressing the same. Choose a kind personal shopper to offer you some advice and guidance.

Why not look for a job in law? Something like the Crown Prosecution Service might interest you. Would probably pay more than the NHS job you’re in at the moment.

I’ve got a kid so I meet a lot of parents, trust me many people have managed to procreate without being obviously beautiful (including me and DH). I got married, I have a big nose, small eyes, crooked teeth and am pretty much always overweight. I have no special talents or skills, I’m also an introvert. Most of us are utterly average.

I wouldn’t take on-line dating as a signifier of your worth, it sounds like a shitshow for the vast majority of women, just go on the threads about OLD here and you will see how awful it is for a lot of women, many men behave appallingly to all sorts of women. There are women in my family who haven’t managed to find anyone, all attractive (I’m not being kind, they are objectively attractive) petite to normal weight, intelligent, good careers and still single. Trust me, it’s hard fullstop to date these days, for everyone.

You wouldn’t have had braces because your teeth aren’t that bad (happened to me and at the time I really didn’t want braces). I’m in my 40’s and I’m thinking of just getting Invisalign and just paying monthly to fix a crooked tooth. The reality if you weren’t offered braces then your teeth aren’t probably quite normal. You’ve lost loads of weight and thats amazing, I bet you feel physically a lot better. For the hair you can get fibres you can comb through your hair to thicken it but honestly it’s probably just like your teeth, a lot more normal than you think. Your low confidence is feeding into negative beliefs about yourself. Try mindfulness, try to appreciate just being in the moment and enjoy now instead of worrying about what you have no control over.

Everyone wants to feel loved and like someone thinks they are beautiful so I’m not going to tell you that it’s odd to feel sad to not have had a romantic relationship, because it’s not. But while you are waiting for that to happen there is no reason for you not to enjoy the life you have instead of mourning the one you wish for. Get out there and live your life, beating yourself up for not being “enough” will do nothing to improve your life. Don’t accept a small life, you are 26, you have a long way to go, this is just the beginning not the end.

There is no point telling you to love yourself as you clearly are very unhappy with your appearance. So fix it. Keep on with the weight loss - you’ve done really well so far. Buy a good hairdryer and learn how to style your hair. I have lots of very fine hair and I wash and blow dry it daily. If I don’t it looks hilarious. Get a good haircut and ask your hairdresser to show you how to blow dry properly. Get your teeth fixed - that’s your responsibility not your parents’. Go see an orthodontist and get a quote and figure out how to pay for it. You are employed and have no dependents so you should be able to fit it into your budget if you prioritize it. Use the gym subscription money towards this and take up walking or some other free exercise. If you start to feel better about yourself you might find that you enjoy your job more, and even if not, you’ll have more confidence to look for a new role. Good luck 💐

Start weightlifting. Not the womany/girly little weights. Big proper heavy ones. Get a PT for a couple of sessions if you can possibly stretch to it to show you form. Or just ask someone doing heavy lifts at the gym. They will almost certainly be happy to show you.

Forget about how you look. Focus on what you can do.

While you are working on getting a goddess body which can do anything. Start saving any money you can squirrel away for your teeth and see if you can sort those out.

You probably look fine by the way. They problem will be in your head, not on it.

Just a tip to give you a boost.
Look at where you were 1 year ago or more and how far you’ve come.
secondly, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful and worthy of love and love is coming into your life. Say it every day, multiple times. It feels strange and a little emotional at first but you get used to it. It’s not woo - this genuinely works. Neuroplasticity.

I’m sure you have a glow to you that you’re not seeing because of how much you’re focusing on your perceived faults.

Of course, I dwell too — I have fine hair, so I wear it in a bob with side bangs. When it’s curly, it looks fuller. A lot of products weigh it down, so I just wash it and comb it upside down when it’s wet. I throw on sunglasses for bad hair days. Personally, I don’t do extensions because I know it would affect my self-esteem.

Also, I have pale legs where my veins show through, so I tend to wear long dresses and pants. These tricks help me a lot. When I was a child, a classmate asked me, “Why do you even try?” I try because I matter. You matter too.

Like previous posters, I think therapy is the true way. There are of course little things we can do to feel more beautiful — wear gorgeous scarves, perfumes, sparkles, etc. But there comes a point where we have to accept ourselves and all our differences or else we end up crumbling beneath the what-ifs. Even the most beautiful models can be crippled by insecurity. Beauty alone will never be enough and life is too short to compare ourselves to perfection.

Many of the people I find most attractive are not perfect physically speaking, but they carry themselves in a way that is captivating. They have a sensuousness and a self-confidence that defies the physical realm.

Despite my imperfect legs and my fine hair, I feel like I’m soaring on sunny days where I’m running around in a pretty dress. That kind of joy is unbeatable and people often take notice.

My best friend is a therapist and she told me to put a photo of myself as a child next to the mirror so I can see who I’m “talking to” when I’m obsessing about my flaws. You know the saying treats others how you want to be treated? The same applies in reverse. Treat yourself how you would treat others.

As for dating, self-confidence is required. Otherwise, predators descend.

Please be kind to yourself and please share these thoughts with a therapist — you are not alone ❤️

For your hair - wear a wig. Honestly, there are really nice natural ones you can buy.

Sorry to hear you feel this way
I have never liked the way I look (I’m in my 50s now) - was bullied for it in school which made me feel even worse. I thought I’d never meet anyone.

However, I met DH when I was 22 and we’ve been together for over 30 years.

I have known some less than average looking people marry and some better looking struggle to find a partner. A lot of the time it’s self confidence or just plain luck.

Having said all that, being attached isn’t the be all and end all. If you go out and try and even fake confidence it will help. it def worked for me.

Agree with others about manifesting, researching positive self esteem and just visualise the new you - keep going at the gym and don’t listen to your inner voice telling you anyone’s laughing at you. They absolutely are not, they are probably too focused on themselves and their own anxieties!! Or they’ll be impressed at your focus.
Theres great hair advice above. I say get yourself braces - the power of a confident smile to change your mood and your look is overwhelming. You can get Invisalign or similar non branded versions for not too much money and straight teeth are healthier and will transform you. It’s a lot of work to keep clean etc but absolutely worth it.
Also your job - you’re taking for granted your ability to study, qualify and just turn up and deliver at work day after day. You need to recognise this as the achievement that it is - people like you are why the entire country stood banging saucepans in Covid! You’re fantastic and need to realise it - when you’re helping people take more notice of their gratitude or even the multitude of ways you make them healthier and happier. You contribute so much, you need to be kind to yourself.
Lastly do you have friends? Look up chatty cafe or lovely ladies meet-ups - loads of place to meet welcoming, friendly, positive people who will give you a fresh perspective on life - you need to stop listening to your inner whiner and listen to people who lift you up!
Give your teeth and your mindset a makeover, zhuzh your hair and carry on at the gym and you’ll be unstoppable!

You definitely need to speak to a therapist. The way you talk about yourself is very concerning. Sounds like you have body dismorphia, especially considering that you don't think you look any different with a 150 weight loss. That's a huge loss.
I can also assure you that nobody is laughing at you in the gym. That's a symptom of your depression and anxiety. Trust me I know. I've dealt with body dismorphia most of my life, and despite the fact that I have a healthy BMI I still sometimes feel way to big. Someone a size 16 is not going to draw any attention. That size is pretty normal.

Please don't put yourself down like this.

Well, lucky you, plastic and extreme makeover exists. There's people who transform their appearance 100% to look like celebrities. So, an ugly person nowadays can become prettier or average at least.

Yes, you absolutely should. These kind of issues need dealing with now before they get any more serious. They will take you very seriously if you explain the sort of things you have talked about on this thread about how you think of yourself.

In my area you can self-refer for NHS counselling without needing to see a GP, and you can even do the sessions on zoom if you prefer. I really think you should try that, OP. The best way to find a partner is to learn to appreciate yourself so you know that you do, in fact, have plenty to offer.

The other thing I would recommend is to find somewhere with a personal shopping service where you don’t have to commit to buying anything. Let the dress you in clothes that look fabulous to show you what you really do look like now.

I think the pressure on young people these days to look a certain way thats deemed acceptable by social media standards is just awful. Op you sound very self critical and I bet you’re a lot lovelier looking than you think. Having a partner isn’t going to help if you don’t even value yourself. Keep going with the healthy stuff. You sound like a sound person, give yourself a break.

You just have to spend half an hour at a weekend in any High St shop or restaurant to know that good looks and/or a shapely figure are not required to snag a partner. Or in any public space at any time of day or night.

Your posts scream a lack of self esteem and self worth. You could look like Grace Kelly and have the body of a Miss Universe (and for all we know, you do) but the self hatred is going to sabotage anyone who tries to approach you.

It sounds like throughout your life you've been bullied and convinced into thinking you are worthless. Please consider some counselling so someone can look at you objectively, get to know you and reflect a more realistic view of you. You absolutely deserve that.